You know that being a Bawse entails climbing a ladder, or several ladders. When you reach the top, it’s important to recognize that you’re never truly at the top. There will always be a higher power that can throw you off the ladder at any time. If you believe in God, then you could be punished for your sins. If you believe in science, then you could evaporate. If you believe in spirits, then you could be possessed. If you believe in fate, then you could be struck by lightning. Knowing that there will always be a bigger Bawse one rung above you is a great way to keep yourself grounded, no matter how high you climb. This is especially important to keep in mind if you’re at a place in your life where people are treating you differently because of your success. It’s easy to get caught up in all the praise. You will begin to think you’re untouchable, but believing in a higher power keeps your ego in check.
You can work as hard as you want to work and pull as many all-nighters as humanly possible, but without a greater force, you wouldn’t have what you have. When you recognize that everything you have is because of something more powerful than yourself, you realize that it could all be taken away at any moment. That helps you appreciate what you have while you have it.
A Bawse can’t control everything; they know they can control only what is within their power. Knowing that there is a higher power that controls things you cannot (weather, natural disasters, disease, miracles, etc.) is a reminder to (a) not try to control what you can’t and (b) be ready to adapt to situations you have no control over. Be ready to roll with the punches that a higher power could throw your way.
I believe in God. I mean, I believe in science and spirits as well (Paranormal Activity has me sold), but my main higher power is God. Believing in God not only makes me feel empowered and safe but also helps me keep things in perspective. I believe that everything I have is the result of my hard work, dedication, and perseverance, but first and foremost, I know everything I have is through the grace of God. When my blessings reached God’s doorstep, God signed off on the permission slip, and for that I am grateful.
Let’s give it up for the higher power. You da real MVP and the biggest Bawse there ever will be.
“THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A HIGHER POWER THAT CAN THROW YOU OFF THE LADDER AT ANY TIME.
YOU KNOW WHICH PICTURE I love? The one where there’s a couple or group of friends and they’re giving each other piggyback rides. Everyone is laughing and pretending to be candid even though they clearly know there is a camera capturing them. Why else would they be on each other’s backs like that? No one goes to the mall and decides, “You know what? I’m just going to latch on to your spine. Yup, no need for Uber—I’ll just wrap around your brain stem and we’ll be on our way.” It’s absolutely ridiculous.
I do it all the time.
Piggyback rides are cute in pictures but not in real life. It’s important to know the difference between supporting people and giving them a free ride. Supporting people means encouraging them, providing them with advice, and maybe even giving them a boost to start. But it doesn’t mean that you let them work less hard. Giving people a free ride means you’re giving them the fruits of your labor without them having to work for it. That’s like buying a broke person a Ferrari and then expecting them to pay for insurance and maintenance. My friend once scratched a Ferrari. He sleeps on my couch now.
I deal with a lot of piggyback requests. After my appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, I wasn’t shocked to find my Facebook inbox full of random messages. The same happened after I posted a picture with Drake. If I was elected to be a guardian of the galaxy right now, the only thing louder than the celebration party would be the notifications in my Facebook inbox. They all start the same way: “Hey! Remember me?” I do remember you. I also know why you suddenly remember me.
Side note: When you hit a certain level of success, a lot of people from your past will convince themselves that they’ve always supported you. Maybe they have, but they just never communicated it to you. Or showed you. Or did anything, really. But now that you’re doing well, they feel some type of entitled pride and ownership.
After “Remember me?” we arrive at “So I was wondering …: Can you share my video? Can you donate to my organization? Can you give my sister a shout-out? Can you attend this event? For free? And arrive with a check so you can donate to my organization? Did I already ask that?” The most unproductive thing to do in this situation is to get upset. Of course it’s a bit annoying to have people hound you for favors, especially when the last time you spoke to them was ten years ago. But that’s the name of the game. These people may not even realize that I have ten other messages from ten other people that are all the same. Therefore, rather than get angry, I simply choose not to give anyone a piggyback ride. I make this very clear to people because I think it’s fair and necessary for people to work hard to achieve their goals, just like I did. In fact, it doesn’t make any sense for me to give anyone a free ride because they wouldn’t get very far. Allow me to explain.
I have no problem supporting people who work hard and have ambition because I trust they will get far with my support. In fact, it makes me very happy to support people who I believe deserve it. As long as the effort I spend supporting someone doesn’t go to waste, I have no issues. If you’re creating weekly videos and putting thought into each of them but can’t seem to get any views, I might share them. If you’ve written three quality books and really want to make the fourth one a bestseller, I probably won’t mind giving it a shout-out. If you ask me for advice and I explain all the ways you can improve your channel and the next day you implement those methods, I will continue giving you advice. However, if I return to your channel one week from now and nothing has changed, I won’t be encouraged to give you more advice. In the same vein, I won’t share your video if you haven’t made one of your “weekly” videos in two months. Why? Because it won’t do anything to help you. That one video may get lots of views, and then what? If you don’t put in the work to create content, my support will do nothing beyond giving your flat line a bump.
True success is built upon a strong foundation. If someone wants to use you as their escalator to success, they won’t build themselves a solid foundation (refer to the chapter Take the Stairs). It’s really difficult to say no to people sometimes, especially when you feel obligated to help them. My family and friends all know that I will support them but never give them a free ride (with the exception of my parents, who gave me a free ride for most of my life—shout-outs for teaching me how to walk and stuff). It’s painful to do sometimes, but necessary for everyone’s growth. As a Bawse, you can carry only so much weight up the ladder you’re climbing. The last thing you want is someone relying on you for a ride and slowing down your progress. I struggle to walk up the stairs after a plate of pasta, so I don’t know how I would climb a ladder with another body on my back.
Everything you encounter on your journey to becoming a Bawse is essential for you to succeed. Every all-nighter, financial investment, and milestone reached help shape who you are. In the same way, another Bawse-in-training needs to encounter the same obstacles, lessons, and sharp turns in the road. A Bawse should respect the art of hustling and make sure it doesn’t become extinct. If everyone who worked hard gave all the slackers a handout, the art of the hustle would die. Support those who work hard. The hustle depends on it.
Real Recognizes Real
List three people in your life that you believe should be supported because of their hard work and determination.
Now think of specific ways you can help them.