I’ve checked my bags and I’m waiting in the security line at the airport. My friends and family are waiting on the other side of the rope to say goodbye and watch me disappear through the gate. I take a deep breath and watch as my mother cries. She’s crying because she knows this side of Lilly, the side that is determined and will persevere. She hugs me and I hug her back, feeling her love and support shield me against any negativity. I’m going to make her so proud. I say my goodbyes and disappear through the gate to start the next exciting chapter of my life.
I arrive in my new apartment, nervous and excited. I’ve been saving up for this and I really did it. I look around and see a life full of opportunity, a life I’m going to make worth remembering. My decision is to conquer this city. I’m finally doing it. The giant spark I have in me doubles in size. Welcome to the land of dreams.
PART 4
BE A UNICORN
It’s time for you to burp a rainbow and poop some Skittles. In this section you will learn about the power of having strong values, the reason to express gratitude, and how to not just coexist with others but positively impact them. You’ll also learn how to navigate sticky situations that tempt you to behave poorly. A Bawse knows that the power of compassion, love, and kindness should never be underestimated.
YOU SHOULD BE SCREAMING with rage and disagreeing with me right now. I just called you a chameleon. You. A Bawse. A chameleon? How dare I? And you’re right. You should challenge me to a duel. I’m trying to teach you how to stand out from the crowd, make a statement, and be bold, so how dare I call you a chameleon, something that blends into its surroundings? Well, the reality of the situation is that your surroundings influence how you feel, how you think, and how you behave. Have you ever felt optimistic in a room full of pessimists? Have you ever gotten a lot of work done in a room full of people slacking off? Have you ever seen a Happy Meal in a sad place? Probably not. You’re a human being and you’re a product of your environment. So what does that mean? That means you better create an environment where Bawses thrive.
Right now I’m being super-productive, writing my book, and feeling happy. Why? Partially because I’m a unicorn, but also because I’ve created a work environment for myself that encourages positivity and creative thinking. On my computer screen there is a sticky note that says “Focus on what deserves your attention.” Below that is a desk plate that says “Get it, girl.” Amongst my array of colorful, bright office supplies (I have a bright blue stapler that is so fine it could qualify as a Man Crush Monday) is a candle labeled “positive energy.” And if I ever make a mistake while writing with one of my lime-green pencils, it’s okay because my pink eraser says “Work happy.” It looks like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory threw up all over my desk, and I absolutely love it. This workspace makes me feel inspired and encourages me to work my hardest, while also putting a smile on my face.
Creating a physical environment that makes you feel motivated is something that is completely in your control. Whether it’s the artwork in your room, your desktop wallpaper, or the color of the Post-its on your desk, your surroundings make a difference, whether you consciously recognize it or not. I’m personally obsessed with colors because they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I have seven towels in my apartment, all bright and different colors. My linen closet looks like a Skittles factory. Every time I put one towel in the wash, I choose a new color, and to be honest, this decision excites me every time. Now, you might be thinking, “What a psycho,” and that’s what the friend who was staying with me also thought. But whenever I switch my towel, I step out of the shower, I lock eyes with this beautiful new color, and my brain registers the change. In some minor way, I believe it makes my day better. In fact, one evening my house guest approached me and quietly said, “The towels make a difference,” and then avoided eye contact as he walked away. OF COURSE THEY DO! Who doesn’t want magical rainbow towels? I’d like to believe that even on the days I’m in a rush and can’t admire my beautiful towel, my brain still notices it and smiles a little.
OMG. Did I just write an entire paragraph about towels? MOM, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
FIVE WAYS to Create a Bawse Environment
CHOOSE A FACEBOOK, Twitter, and/or email password that is an affirmation or important reminder. Think about it—you write this password several times a day, so you might as well make it meaningful! Even when you’re in a rush, you’re giving your brain a subliminal message. Some examples: Workhardtoday or Staydetermined or Youdontneedaboyfriendbecauseyourecompletelyfinebyyourselfandifyoueverdoubtthatthenlistentosingleladies (okay, that last one might surpass the character limit).
IF YOU STRUGGLE with a certain thought or bad habit, write yourself notes and post them in places where you will constantly see them. My “Focus on what deserves your attention” sticky is meant to remind me NOT to reply to negative YouTube comments and thus is located on the screen of my iMac. If you’re not a morning person, put a note on your bathroom mirror that says “The morning is almost over! You’re going to have the best day.” If you often procrastinate by scrolling through Twitter, make your phone wallpaper something that says “Shouldn’t you be working right now?”
CHANGE YOUR RINGTONE and/or text tone to a song that makes you feel happy. It’s important to be as nerdy as possible here. For example, my text tone is Rue’s whistle from The Hunger Games. Yup, that’s right. You can go ahead and idolize me now.
FOLLOW CUTE PUPPIES on Instagram! Here are some good ones: @jiffpom, @beanzhart, and @marniethedog. And if for some reason you’re not fond of cute puppies (which, btw, is super weird and you should probably get checked out), then follow accounts of other things that make you happy, such as kittens, food, or babies. (Or may I suggest @iisuperwomanii?)
CERTAIN COLORS can make us feel certain emotions, and we can use this to our benefit. For example, this chapter is filled with images that have a yellow background, because yellow is said to evoke feelings of happiness and brightness—perfect for being a unicorn. Research colors when deciding on paint for your office or bedroom, your new notebook, or even the shirt you wear today.
Aside from minor things like towels (although, to be honest, they’re pretty major), sometimes you have to make bigger decisions in life to create a better environment for yourself. Moving from my hometown, Toronto, to a new place like L.A. was really terrifying, but I knew I had to do it for my personal and professional growth. You see, in Toronto I was always the busiest person in the bunch and no one really understood my career, not even my accountant! Trying to explain YouTube views during tax season was a lot of fun. I’m pretty sure he put my occupation as “owner of the Internet.” Although, I mean, heyyyyyyyy. Moving to L.A. put me in an environment where I constantly felt motivated to do more because everyone around me was blazing their own trail. In L.A., I’m surrounded by like-minded people who understand my career and I feed off their creative energy. The lack of frostbite and abundance of Chipotle locations are also huge pluses.
It is your job, solely yours, to create the best possible environment for yourself. It’s not your parents’ job, your boyfriend’s job, or your teacher’s job. It’s your life, your goals, your ambitions, and therefore your task. You are a product of your environment, so decide wisely what kind of factory you want to be built in.
And, most importantly, make sure you have colorful towels.