He had months to come to terms with what he was feeling for her. From that first night at Rudy’s, even though it wasn’t one of their best moments, she had burned a spot into his soul. Even when he thought she hated him, he couldn’t shake her from his system. The night of her accident, it became clear to him that despite his best efforts to fight what was happening, Cara became more than just a responsibility to him. Her time in rehab, those phone calls they shared, it was everything to him to be able to hear her voice. When she made amends with him at Lakeview hope was born within him. Since she had been home, she wormed her way into his heart, a heart that had been under lock and key for a long time.
He made peace with the fact that he was in love with her, but not before torturing himself with guilt over his brother. It was her turn to come to terms with it. He’d wait it out because she was worth it, because he owed it to himself and to Jake to take hold of the gift his brother had given him, the gift of Cara.
*
Cara couldn’t sleep, she also couldn’t stop crying either. She glanced down, blinking through her tears, at the blank pages of her journal. Sometimes her words to Jake came easy, other times she stared down at the pages not sure how to express herself. She needed him to talk her down, tonight. She needed Jake because the other option was the bar in the hotel or knocking on Luke’s door. Her body still burned from his touch. She closed the leather bound book and placed it beside her.
It’s funny, when she first found Jake’s journals she laughed out loud. She couldn’t picture her sweet Harley loving maniac having the patience to write on a Post It yet alone fill page after page in a journal. She understood now that it was a release for him and when the words were too painful to speak, it was easier to write them.
The last six months of her life flashed before her eyes like a movie reel. The steady beep of the heart monitor, signaling Jake had left her, sounded in her ears. Every fistful of pills she swallowed, every bottle of booze she finished, every disgraceful memory. She saw Deb’s pleading eyes when she awakened after her accident. She heard her own voice ask Luke for help. She could almost feel his arms around her as he hugged her at the entrance of Lakeview. She felt the coldness that surrounded her as she shivered and begged for mercy while she detoxed. She felt her eyes fill with fresh tears as she remembered the ones she shed when she remembered feeling as if she betrayed Jake when she realized she had first had sex with Luke at Rudy’s. She relived the moment Luke turned around and handed her a bouquet of flowers. She could still feel his strong embrace after she had made amends with him on the terrace. He whispers “Spunky”, and a smile blossoms on her face. Every phone conversation that got her through the lonely nights as she fought the power of addiction, they all replay in her head. The first step she took into the Lanza home, hits her just as the eager puppy who jumped into her arms that same day.
Cara felt dizzy as the memories hounded her and when she closed her eyes all she saw was Luke’s face. The way his cheeks reddened when she called him a Stud Muffin, the gruff voice she couldn’t get enough of, the struggle in his eyes when he tried to control himself around her. The way he looked at her that night when she drove him home from Rudy’s, as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Their kiss in his truck, she still remembered how badly she wanted him to remember how her lips felt on his. Somewhere she became the one struggling to control herself around him. She became the one fighting the pull she felt towards him, not sure if it was right to feel the way she was feeling when it came to the man who picked up the pieces of her life. Luke may never admit it, hell he may never even notice, but he was the reason Cara was whole again.
She was on the beach sitting with her knees drawn to her chest as she stared out into the darkness of the ocean. Luke’s words echoed in her ears, telling her he never planned for her, well, she didn’t plan on him either. Yet, somewhere he had become her plan, the only plan that mattered. There was someone, somewhere, who had a plan for Luke and Cara, who had planned for them all along.
A hand closed over Cara’s shoulder, startled she glanced up at the figure that stood before. Her eyes widened and she blinked through her tears. His lips curved in a mischievous smile. She held her breath and waited until it came. There it was. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, as only Jake ever could.
“Hey Babe…” He said as a gasp escaped her lips.
“Jake…” She choked out, reaching her hand up to touch him. “Is it really you?” She whispered.
He took his hand from her shoulder and laced his fingers with hers as he sat beside her in the sand. “Close your mouth Cara, or you’ll catch flies.” He said with a smile and squeezed her hand affectionately.
“How?” She whispered in awe.
“Saw you re-enacting Dirty Dancing, thought maybe we’d make it a Swayze marathon and do a little skit from Ghost.” He said with a laugh and bumped his shoulder into her’s.