She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face. He was beautiful. There were no traces of sickness. He wasn’t pale, his eyes weren’t sunken in, and his lips were pink just like they were in all the beautiful memories she cherished. His skin glowed as if he had never been sick. He was perfect. He was her Jake.
He slung his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer to him, pressing his lips to the top of her head, reminding her of the night he first took her for a ride on his bike. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall from beneath her closed lids.
“I miss you.” She whispered.
“I miss you too, babe.” He squeezed her shoulder and leaned his head against hers. “But that’s not why I’m here.” He kissed the top of her head again before he pulled back and lifted her chin with his fingers. “Talk to me, let me help you.”
She stared at him for a moment. “Why now?” She shook her head slightly. “I mean of all the times I needed you, why would you show up now?”
“Because you really didn’t need me then,” he said simply.
Her eyes widened as if death had even made him more nuts. “I was addicted to pain killers. I crashed my car and went to rehab. My life completely spiraled out of control after you died, but you didn’t think I needed you?”
“No.” He shook his head, crossing his arms against his chest, he was standing his ground. “You made it through all that.”
“Barely!” She shouted and then her shoulders slumped in defeat when he raised his pierced eyebrow.
“Are you done?” He asked and she just scowled at him. Jake rolled his eyes but smiled. “Luke was there for you.” He chuckled to himself. “I was on the money with that shit.”
Cara peered at him. “What does that mean?”
Jake cleared his throat and stopped chuckling. “Before I dipped out…”
“You mean died?”
“Dipped out, died… it’s all the same. Babe, focus, we’re veering off track here.” He watched her raise an eyebrow yet she gave him her undivided attention. “As I was saying…” he shot her a warning look, not to interrupt him again. “Before I checked out, I had a heart to heart with Luke. I asked him to look after you. I made him promise that you would go on to do great things. You know, like live your damn life.” He pointed an accusing finger at her. “Don’t try that shit again, Cara. I’m warning you. You of all people should know that tomorrow is not a promise.”
“I knew you asked Luke to look after me. He was relentless.”
“It worked you’re clean, you’re smiling, shit, you’re happy… even though you’re fighting so hard against it.” He watched as she looked away, no doubt contemplating his words and wondering to herself if she was in fact happy. “Why don’t you ever allow yourself to be happy?”
“I was happy once upon a time. I took that gamble. You remember, don’t you Jake? You were happy right along with me and then just like that…” She snapped her fingers. “It was all gone.”
“It’s different with you and Luke. Babe, I realized some shit while I was floating around with the big dogs.”
“Really the big dogs?” She said with an eye roll.
His eyes widened defensively. “You have no idea who I roll with these days…” He wiggled his eyebrows for extra emphasis and she gave into her smile. He paused for a moment, watching her intently. Her smile was the thing he missed the most. “I came into your life all those years ago, to take you away from the pain of your childhood and you came into mine to show me what love was. I was never meant to be the one who you spent your whole life with. I was meant to lead you to the person you would.”
“Don’t say that.” She whispered.
“It’s true… Cara. Luke is that person.” He swallowed and took her hands in his. “Look at me.” He waited and slowly she lifted her head to meet his gaze. “He loves you.” Jake smiled. “Just like I knew he would and when my brother loves, he loves big.” He laughed. “Shit, he’d give you his bone marrow and shit if it came down to it.” He winked at her before he squeezed her hands again. “You love him too.”
Cara swallowed against the lump in her throat as she continued to hold Jake’s gaze. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled. “It’s okay to love him, Cara.”
She blew out a strangled breath. “How can I love the both of you?” She whispered the question. “I feel like with each piece of me I give to Luke, is one less piece I have of you.”