Toni brought me a can of Coke then a sandwich. When she checked on Winnie, her daughter never responded. Later, Tad arrived with a kitchen chair and sat next to me after kissing the top of Winnie’s head.
“Hardest thing about being a parent is not locking your kids up to protect them,” he said, staring at the TV. “If I had my way, Winnie and Harlow would stay at home. No dating. No fighting at the Thunderdome. Hell, I wouldn’t let them leave without me or their mom with them. I feel the same about Jace, but he doesn’t want to go anywhere anyway. The girls are ready to find freedom. They want to grow up, so I have to let them.”
Tad wasn’t anything like my dad. Occasionally, I wondered if his calm demeanor was a con. I remembered Larry’s habit of playing the nice guy to trick someone into dishing info he used against them later. I never shared anything with my dad for this reason. Tad wasn’t Larry though.
“I don’t know the right thing to do with Winnie. She makes me crazy and I want her so much. I don’t think I can be trusted with her.”
Tad nodded. “Maybe you can’t. When Winnie is truly awake, she’ll either reach for you or push you away. If she wants you, what can you do? Walk away from a woman you need and who needs you too? No, you’ll stay because you have no choice. The heart falls easily into addiction. Once it wants something, it doesn’t let go. What can a man do?”
Frowning, I thought about my parents and how their hearts were never addicted long.
“Both my mom and dad have been married a bunch of times. They’ve been engaged even more often. I grew up thinking love never lasted. I didn’t want the fleeting shit for me. I needed one person who made me happy. A woman I can grow old with. For me, Winnie’s that girl, but I don’t know if I should be the guy for her.”
“Why not? You having shitty parents don’t mean much, kid. I had great parents and I turned out like shit for the first thirty years of my life. I didn’t get better on my own either. Doing time fixed a lot of my problems because I didn’t have the choice to run away from my demons. You don’t have that problem. You just need to stay put and wait to see if Winnie is strong enough to make a life with you.”
Winnie’s eyes were closed, but she wasn’t sleeping. I doubted she was listening to us either. Her breathing remained serene.
“Sometimes, you need to be an asshole with Winnie,” Tad said, finishing his beer. “When she gets lost in the past, I have to yell at her like I’m one of those fucks she’s scared of. It’s the only way to make her obey long enough to take her medication. It doesn’t happen often. Less and less as she gets older, but I hate yelling at her. You’ll hate it too, but love isn’t all picnics. You have to do what’s right, rather than what feels good.”
Staring at Winnie, I couldn’t imagine scaring her on purpose.
“Am I freaking you out?” Tad asked, wearing a little grin.
“No, I’m happy you’re not kicking my ass for doing this to her.”
“Don’t be a whiner,” Tad said, watching Winnie. “You didn’t do shit. The fuckers who broke her are long dead. We’re the ones picking up the pieces.”
Nodding, I watched him approach the bed. Winnie moved around under the covers and her eyes popped open.
“No,” she whimpered.
“What’s your name?” he asked, leaning down.
Her gaze focusing on Tad, she whispered, “Winnie Todds.”
“Who are your mom and dad?”
“Tad and Toni Todds.”
“Sister and brothers. Don’t forget the dumb one in prison.”
Winnie smiled slightly. “Harlow, Jace, and Beckett Todds.”
“Who’s this mopey fella?” he asked, gesturing towards me.
Winnie focused a moment before her eyes widened. “Dylan.”
“I need to help Mom with dinner. You two behave or I’ll send Harlow in as a chaperone. You know she’ll love that.”
Winnie watched her father leave then returned to staring at me.
“Cookie Monster,” I said, kneeling next to the bed. “I had a Big Bird when I was a kid.”
Pushing aside the doll, she took my hand. “I live in Ellsberg. I have a family and friends. You’re my boyfriend.”
I gave her a little grin. “Hell yeah, I am.”
Winnie shivered under the covers. “I’m sorry this happened.”
“Me too. You deserve to be happy.”
“Will you stay?”
“As long as you’ll let me.”
Winnie smiled, but I saw her eyes losing focus. “My medicine makes me out of it. Don’t take anything I say personal.”
“I won’t,” I said, finally letting myself touch her beautiful face.
Winnie shivered under my fingers. I spotted a smile before she faded into a light sleep. She was so beautiful, but I noticed scratches and bruises covering her arms. Even free from the Vandals, Winnie might still be destroyed by their legacy.
Later when Winnie awoke, Toni convinced her to eat a small omelet.
“Mom makes great omelets,” Winnie said, taking her medicine.