Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

Staring up at him, I tried to stop crying, but I felt like I would be punished for missing a day of school.

“Since you’re already upset, I’m dumping this on you too. I called in sick at your job.”

Breathing too quickly, I shrugged him off. “You don’t care.”

Cooper wanted to be angry. His jaw set and his lips pressed together in a grim frown. Then, he cracked his neck. “Explain how I don’t care about my baby needing time off?”

“I need money to pay for things.”

“I’ll pay for your lost wages.”

“I don’t want your money.”

“My money. Denny’s money. What difference does it make?”

I was angry. Outraged really, but I’d quickly become accustomed to seeking comfort from Cooper. So I snuggled against him then glared into his irritated eyes.

“You can’t just do whatever you want.”

“Yes, I should have woken you up to ask if you wanted to sleep. That makes sense.”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“Don’t be a dipshit.”

Pulling away, I found myself in his grip. His arms refused to relent and I gave up.

“Let’s try this again,” he said after a minute. “You had a tough night. So did I. In fact, it was the worst night of my life to be honest. You needed rest. I needed it too, so I made a decision. I did what you couldn’t and I’m not sorry. You need to relax or you’ll burn out.”

Saying nothing, I listened to his heartbeat. When I didn’t complain, he began stroking my hair.

“I want to have my dream,” I whispered, relaxed now. “I need to prove to my family that I’m not a loser.”

“You’re not a loser. Everyone in your family either knows that or can’t admit it because then they might be a loser. You need to stop worrying about what other people think.”

“Except you, right?”

“Hell yeah,” he whispered, grinning down at me.

Smiling, I kissed his chest. “I don’t know what happened last night.”

Cooper said nothing and I forced myself to look up at him. He watched me with the same pained expression as the night before.

“You had a bad dream,” he finally said.

Wanting to apologize, I sensed he would be bothered by it. Instead, I sighed. “You took care of me.”

Just as I hoped, Cooper gave me a little grin. He was like a kid sometimes, needing reassurance. The guy who asked his mom for relationship advice wasn’t always the scary beast he showed to the world.

“So we’ll study later?”

“Sure, but I was thinking we could clean up and go to lunch at the Italian place we had our first real date at. Or we can go somewhere else. I want you to have a good lunch since you skipped breakfast.”

“That would be really nice,” I said, smiling up at him.

“Then, maybe we could go to the movies.”

While I wanted to hide how excited I was by this idea, Cooper was no fool.

“Tell me you’ve been to the movies before.”

“Once when I was little, my grandma took me and Tawny.”

“Who doesn’t go to the fucking movies? I see poor people at them all the time. Trailer trash with their loud kids at the ten o’clock showing.”

“It’s not something we could waste money on.”

“Well, we’re definitely going then. So lunch, movies, we’ll pick up your notes, do a little studying before a nice dinner. Finally, back here for swimming and hopefully you’ll be up for a little loving.”

“Why not now?” I asked, kissing his jaw.

“We should wait.”

“Are you not in the mood?” I asked, nuzzling his neck. Cooper took my hand and set it on the erection in his shorts. “Then, why wait?”

“It’s the sex, right?” he asked, frowning back at me. “Whenever we do it a lot, you have these nightmares. When we keep it to once or twice, you sleep fine. I figure we’ll wait.”

“Is it healthy for you to walk around like that?”

“I’m wearing my loose jeans, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I wouldn’t mind being close before we go.”

Cooper said nothing for a moment then sighed. “Last night was really bad.”

“It’s not only the sex. It’s the walls. You wanted them to come down and they are. Not everything you’ll see will be pretty.”

“I know,” he said softly. “It just breaks my heart to see all that terror in your eyes and know a little part of you is afraid of me.”

“It’s not you.”

Cooper said nothing for a few minutes and I started worrying. Finally, he ran his hand down the back of my hair as he spoke. After a false start, he forced out the words.

“There was this chick I knew from my freshman year. She was ra…sexually assaulted at a party.” When I immediately tensed in his arms, Cooper caressed my head again. “The guy was dealt with, but she was still messed up from what happened. She felt guilt and shame, but then she saw a therapist. Months after it happened, she seemed better. She was able to move past it enough to be happy. I’m not really into all that feelings crap, but maybe a therapist would help you?”