Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

“Looking to see if you’re on the pill.”


“I told you I get those shots.”

“Yeah, but I was hoping you were lying so I could find your pills, switch them out with Tic Tacs, and keep you with me forever.”

“First of all, Coop, I’d know they were Tic Tacs. Secondly, if you want to keep me forever, just treat me well and I’ll stay with you. Wouldn’t that be better than having a baby we’re not ready for?”

Cooper grinned. “My girl is so smart and rational.”

“You weren’t really looking for my birth control, were you?” I asked, sitting on the bed.

“Yeah. The last day was the worst of my life and don’t you dare point out how I’ve had an easy life.”

“I’ll just think it then.”

Cooper glanced out of the curtains then back at me. “You need a TV in your room.”

“I’m saving up for one.”

Cooper grinned. “Foot massage time.”

“We could go into the living room and watch TV while you service me.”

“I was thinking maybe I’d stay the night and a relaxing foot massage might put you in the mood for makeup loving.”

Looking around, I wasn’t sure I wanted to feel him inside me. On the other hand, I really wanted to kiss and hold him and that would lead to sex.

“Okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I want you to be honest,” Cooper said, looking rather grumpy.

“I am.”

“It breaks my fucking heart when you cry while I’m enjoying myself. Do you understand?”

“I can’t promise I won’t cry. It’s a reflex.”

“I’m not the guy who hurt you.”

“I know.”

“Maybe we should just hang out and mess around and keep it casual.”

Frowning, I rested back on the bed and wiggled my feet at him. “I want to do what you said earlier.”

“You can’t even say it.”

Crossing my arms, I frowned harder. “I heard these girls in class talking about how great sex was and I felt jealous. I want to be like everyone else and enjoy stuff like they do. I can’t do that if I don’t practice. It’s like everything else. I just need to learn how to do it.”

“So you want me to climb on you and fuck you while you cry?” he said and I felt my eyes burning. “You can’t know how it feels to watch you cry like that.”

“No, but if you want me to ever learn to enjoy it, you’ll have to keep trying. If you want to give up, that’s fine, but I can’t learn to like it if I don’t practice.”

Cooper sat at the end of the bed and took a foot in his strong hands. “Is it that you think I’m going to hurt you like that guy did?”

Lifting myself up onto my elbows, I stared hard at him. “We don’t talk about those things in my family. We don’t say the words and I’m not talking about that.”

“I just want to understand how to make you feel good too. I hate taking from you and watching you cry and waiting for it to be over.”

“I told you. It’s a reflex. My body reacts and I cry. I know it’s you and I love you and I want you, but my body reacts. Talking about this is making me tense.”

“We don’t have to talk about it then. I need you to be comfortable with us being together though.”

“Be close with me then. The more you are, the better it feels. Like when we first tried, even when I was drunk, it hurt because I tensed up. It got easier last weekend at your house. I still cried and got scared, but it didn’t hurt. I want to have sex like everyone else. I want to learn, but there’s only one way and that’s through practice.”

Cooper nodded as his thumbs pressed deep against my aching arch. I cried out, sounding somewhere between horny and in pain. Cooper just smiled and kept working at my feet as I watched him. After a few minutes, I was incredibly relaxed. I was also missing the feel of him against me.

I whispered, “I love you.”

Cooper lifted my foot and kissed it as his warm gaze held mine. Smiling at him, I opened my robe to show nothing underneath.

“Hell,” Cooper muttered.

“Your sister said my only good feature is my lips. Is that true and don’t lie because you want sex? We’re having sex no matter what you say.”

Cooper didn’t even look at me as he moved his kisses from my foot to my calf. He only paused to pull off his tee and toss it on the floor.

“You’re so gorgeous I have to beat up guys constantly to keep them away from you.”

“Is that true?”

“Uh-huh,” he murmured as he kissed my inner thigh.

“You shouldn’t beat up anyone over me.”

“Sure, whatever,” he said, kissing higher on my thigh.

“I don’t like that,” I yelped as his lips moved between my legs. “I don’t want that.”

“It’ll feel good,” he said, looking at me with a gentle gaze. “It’ll relax you too. Girls really like it. Trust me.”

“I don’t want that,” I said again, fighting the urge to close my robe and have him leave.