Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

Glancing around, I saw the place was dead as usual. When I turned back to Cooper, I forced out the words.

“You think I’m a lesbian using you for money. And that day at your place when you got so mad, I thought you were going to hit me.”

Cooper flinched then let go of my wrist. “I don’t hit girls.”

Nodding, I felt awkward under his gaze. “Some men can love a woman and still hit her when they get angry.”

“Some men. Like who? Like Daddy? Or do you have a secret ex who smacked you around?”

Stepping back, I wanted to find Cooper another waitress. He reached for my hand before I moved too far away.

“When my sister and I fight, I never lay a hand on her. When I had a girlfriend who keyed my truck and slashed my tires, I didn’t hit her. Even when she tried to cut me, I didn’t hit her. Look at me,” he said, tugging me closer. “Look at me, Farah.” When I finally met his gaze, he exhaled hard. “I don’t hit women. I’m not an out of control freak who hits people because I can’t stop myself. Everyone I hit, I hit on purpose and I would never hit you on purpose. I would never hurt you or any woman, but especially not you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, you would never hit me.”

“Damn it,” he grumbled when I tugged my hand free. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

“I am.”

“No, you’re humoring me because you’re at work. Just talk to me please. I miss you and it’s killing me pretending otherwise.”

Glancing around, I wished someone needed me, but I was alone in the dining room with Cooper. When I looked back at him, I was startled by the pain in his expression. I hadn’t really thought about how much our breakup would affect him. Mostly because I figured he could find someone else. A pretty fun girl who laughed at his jokes like I did and who enjoyed sex with him like I didn’t.

“I’ll be on break in a little bit. I could come back and talk then.”

“Why not now? There’s no one here.”

“I’m not on break though.”

“No one cares.”

“I do. I like rules. Without rules, people do whatever they want.”

“So you think I need rules, is that what you’re saying?”

“No, I’m saying some people can get away with doing whatever they want like you do. Some people are like me and breaking the rules will ruin them.”

Cooper inhaled hard then let it all out. His tight shoulders eased as did the stiffness in his jaw. Nodding, he laid his hands palms down on the table.

“Fine. When you have your break, I want you to bring a drink for yourself and something to eat too. I want you to sit down and act like we’re friendly and not like you have no choice. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” I said, turning away. “I like your haircut.”

Unable to see Cooper’s reaction, I didn’t dare look back. Instead, I put in his order then brought his drink. He watched me walk to his table and he watched me walk away. I wasn’t sure what to do so I hid in the bathroom for a few minutes while his food cooked.

Cooper was everything bad for me. He was violent in such a casual way as if hurting someone was like breathing. While he was beautiful, his tattoos reminded me of my greatest fear. He was wealthy, but that just gave him a sense of entitlement. I had nothing and maybe I was nothing, but I wanted to be someone. I wanted to have the life I had dreamed of since I was a kid. A teacher who lived in the suburbs and lived a safe calm life. Could I really have that with Cooper? Not only did he mock my dreams, he would hate living in the suburbs. He already had to be a lawyer for his family so the last thing he needed was to create a dull life with me.

Yet, why did it have to be about forever? Couldn’t we just spend time together now in college then go our separate ways when we were older? If I could keep Cooper for a while and know it was short term, I wouldn’t feel so suffocated. Not only by the intensity of our relationship, but also by the idea that anything I did wrong could cause him to leave me.

If I stopped thinking love meant forever, I could enjoy all of Cooper’s good qualities. No one made me laugh like Cooper except for Tawny. Since my sister was out of my life for now, I deserved a taste of happiness and I wanted Cooper.

When I brought his food to the table, I included a drink for myself. Watching me full of need, he exhaled softly when I joined him.

“You didn’t get anything to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Eat a fry.”

Frowning, I didn’t take the fry he offered. “You can’t boss me around so much.”

“You need to take better care of yourself.”

“I don’t want a father especially a bossy one like my actual father.”

“Your dad is bossy?” he asked, eating the fry I wouldn’t take.

“He sometimes drank and got edgy and bossed me and my sister around.”

Cooper studied me. “Did he hit you?”

“I really missed you,” I said, changing the subject to one I was certain he would like.

“Hell, Farah, I feel like I can’t breathe since yesterday.”

“I love you, but…”