Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

Staring into Cooper’s angry eyes, I realized he expected me to back down. He expected wrong.

While I might have issues with sex and talking about my every farting feeling, I had no problem walking long distances. My family was routinely without transportation when I was growing up. Either the car didn’t work or we didn’t have money for gas.

Leaving Cooper’s apartment, I walked down the stairs and pulled on my backpack. If I walked steadily, I could make it home in an hour. Two at the most. Screw him for thinking I would give a shit about a little exercise. Screw him for being so pampered that he didn’t realize others survived without having their asses wiped every day.

Once I had been walking for nearly fifteen minutes, the realization of Cooper and I being over suddenly hit me. Tears burned my eyes as I felt all that loss. The more I considered my feelings for Cooper, the more I accepted how I had hoped he would grow into a man I could trust completely. He was rough and sometimes the things he said hurt my feelings or made me want to run in the opposite direction. Yet, when we were together in bed, he could be so tender. It was the main reason I wanted to have sex. If I ignored the actual sex part, I enjoyed being so close to him. Now, it was over and he wouldn’t even remember my name when he saw me at school.

In the end, some part of me always knew it would be over because Cooper had no reason to change into someone less intense. Mister Perfect would take five seconds to find a new girlfriend who wouldn’t want him to change. Most of the girls loved how rough he was, laughed at his rude mouth, and moaned over his every caress. They would do everything right and make him happy. He had no reason to change, but unless he did, I would never feel comfortable with him. Deep inside, he scared the shit out of me and I figured he always would.

Even depressed, I was resigned to the upside of breaking up with Cooper. He and I were always going to break up, but now he would find someone who could handle him. I could find someone like Nick who was soft and calm. Dull in a sexy way, instead of gorgeous in a wild scary way. Even accepting how right I was to end things with Cooper, I still sobbed because he was my first love. He had been mine, but now he wasn’t. It was the reality of life in a nutshell.

The first two times I heard motorcycles, I thought Cooper had changed his mind about giving me a ride home. Dozens of motorcycles roared past me on my walk. Some headed to town, others out to the countryside. I ignored them after realizing they weren’t Cooper. One guy stopped and offered me a ride, but I told him I was waiting for someone. It wasn’t a complete lie, yet I didn’t think he believed me especially because I was crying so hard.

When another motorcycle stopped, I shouldn’t have known it was Cooper. I should have zoned out the possibility, but I felt him and stopped walking. Lifting my gaze to where the Harley idled, I hurried forward. Cooper didn’t look at me or speak when I climbed on. Keeping up the silence, I wrapped my arms around him as he roared back onto the road and towards my apartment.

Resting my face against his warm back, I wished things were different, but they never would be. Cooper was from his world where he was fucking perfect. I was from another world where he was fucking scary. Besides, Cooper thought I should just stop being damaged like it was a choice. Like I wanted to cry during sex, instead of enjoying his hot body.

I felt like I did the best I could when I was essentially alone in a new place without the only person I truly trusted. Maybe I would be less moody or more vocal if Tawny was living with me, but she wasn’t and I couldn’t give Cooper more than I already had. Nothing would change either of us. No matter how good he felt or how much I loved him, I had to let him go.

Cooper pulled up to the front of the apartment complex and turned off his Harley. Sliding off the back, I wasn’t sure what to say. I hadn’t even been sure if he wanted me to say anything because he hadn’t spoken on the drive. With the bike silent, I suspected he wanted to talk. Nervous, I weaseled out of a conversation.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you at school.”

Grabbing my wrist, Cooper stared at me almost as if in shock. “That’s it? You’re just done with me?”

“We’re too different. We’ll just make each other miserable.”

Frowning darkly, Cooper glanced around then back at me. “Fuck.”

Cooper released my wrist and soon the bike roared to life and down the street. I watched him go and stood a few minutes longer, just thinking about how wrong the day turned. Walking to the apartment, I told myself my unhappiness was from Cooper’s potential revenge towards me. In reality, I missed the safety I felt in his arms. A safety defying the rest of Cooper’s personality.





Chapter Seventeen