Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

“He wasn’t. He’s really hot too and I want him, but then I started crying. It’s weird.”


Tawny said nothing for nearly a minute. “You need practice. It’s like when I would get nervous at new schools. Every time I had a new class, I would cry. Then, I got practice and it wasn’t scary. Yeah, you just need more practice.”

Smiling, I felt like Tawny was in the room with me. I really wished she was and my eyes burned at how much I missed her.

“He’s been so great today. Like taking care of me and saying really nice things. He makes me feel like I’m important.”

“You are important.”

“I guess, but most people don’t think that. Cooper has all his money and he’s really hot and I know other girls don’t cry and act weird. I know he can do better so I’m excited by how he likes me so much.”

“You have a calming thing,” Tawny said, again sounding confident like she just knew stuff. “You make people feel relaxed and people like that. I always felt better when you were around even if everything was shitty. You did that and maybe he needs that calming thing too. Maybe that’s what you have that those other girls don’t have? You’re beautiful, smart, and funny too, but a lot of people have those things. A lot of people aren’t calming though.”

“You’d make a great therapist.”

“Why would anyone listen to me?”

“Because you make things sound good. That’s your talent. You make a person see things they don’t see on their own.”

Tawny said nothing and I felt her pulling away a little. “I can’t go back to high school. I hate the classes.”

“I’m not asking you to go to school. I’m just saying you’re good with people. You can be good with them without going to school.”

“Oh.”

“I’m going to get you here, Tawny.”

“What about Cooper? What if he wants to keep you around?”

“So?”

“So he might not want me around. Like we were going to get a place, but what if he really likes you and wants to keep you and you can’t get a place with me?”

Tawny was crying. I couldn’t hear it, but I knew her voice and she was scared.

“He loves me,” I said softly. “He wants me to be happy and he knows you’re my best friend. He knows I miss you and he wouldn’t take you away from me. He even asks about you. Cooper won’t stop me from bringing you here.”

“He said he loved you?”

“Yes, and I love him too.”

“I know. I could tell when you kept trying to talk yourself out of dating him. Why else would you want to stop seeing a rich hot guy unless you were worried you felt more for him than he did for you? Yeah, I knew you were in love.”

Laughing, I wished I could give her a hug through the phone. “See, you’re smart. School just isn’t for everyone.”

“Yeah, I’ll find a job when I get there and I’ll help pay for stuff. I’ll pull my weight.”

“Even if you don’t, I want you here. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Tawny said then sighed. “I’m sorry you cried.”

Swallowing hard, I forced out the words. “I felt a little like I was back there.”

“It’s the tattoos. You said he has them and that’s why. You’ll get used to those tats and you won’t feel that way. Like I said, you need practice.”

“It’s been a great day and I can’t wait until you meet him.”

“I won’t embarrass you,” Tawny said full of sincerity. “I won’t ruin things for you when I get there.”

In that moment, I saw Tawny and me the way others did. How we were always the dirty outsiders who didn’t belong. I had forgotten some of that living in Ellsberg. While I felt like I belonged, Tawny was in a motel, feeling like trash. I wept at the thought of her seeing herself that way.

Tawny and I didn’t really say anything for the rest of the call. We just cried and tried to think about the future, but instead wallowed in our past. We needed to get away from all of the ugliness and be new people. I was trying so hard, but she was still stuck in the crap life our parents built for us.

After I hung up, I washed my face then went looking for Cooper. I found him outside on the deck, grilling the steaks. He looked a little ominous in only jeans. His size and those tattoos still scared me, but then he glanced in my direction and smiled. Suddenly, he wasn’t the scary guy from the first day of school. He was my Coop who gave foot massages and kissed like he had nowhere important to go. He loved me. I just had to hold onto this fact so I didn’t ruin things.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, frowning now.

Nodding, I knew my face was red from crying. “She’s alone in a highway shithole and I wish she was here.”

“I could bring her here.”

My heart leapt, but I didn’t agree. My mind recalled how suddenly Cooper had fallen for me and imagined how suddenly he could lose interest. If I started hoping for Cooper to save me and Tawny, I’d stop working to save us. Then when he dumped me, it would hurt more.