Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

“Oh, yeah,” I moaned dramatically. “Oh, hell yeah.”


Kissing my shoulder, Cooper moved slowly, building the momentum he lost when I started crying. He seemed a little tentative, so I kept saying, “hell yeah” like it felt wonderful. At that point though, my body had shut down and wasn’t feeling much of anything.

Yet emotionally, I felt safe in Cooper’s arms. Pushing himself closer, he was gentle, maybe hoping I might come along with him. As soon as he finished, Cooper turned me to look at him. Sliding his fingers into my hair, he searched my face for something.

“Spend the night with me,” he whispered, still studying my expression.

I said nothing as my mind ran through a million reasons to say no.

“You want to. I can see that on your face. Why aren’t you saying yes?”

“I don’t have anything for an overnight stay.”

Cooper blew his breath up, tossing his bangs out of his eyes. “Dork.”

“Hey, I need stuff. I’m a girl and we’re high maintenance.”

“Whatever you need, I have here.”

“Okay then.”

“You sound excited,” he said, sitting back against the side of the hot tub and stretching out his arms along the edge. “Thrilled.”

Wanting to cross my arms over my chest, I felt like an idiot standing naked before him. Cooper watched me with a hurt expression then another emotion lit up his eyes.

“Fuck, Farah,” he muttered. “Don’t look at me like that.”

He lifted an arm and gestured for me to sit with him. I did immediately, feeling relieved as if I was lost without his approval. I hated the feeling, but it wasn’t something I had power over anymore.

“I was with this girl once,” he said softly as his arm wrapped around me and we slid a little farther into the water. “She was nervous and maybe a virgin. Anyway, she was so tense the first time that she didn’t come. Didn’t seem to do anything except stare at me. It was weird, but then she got drunk and we did it again. The second time, she loved it because she was relaxed. Do you know why I’m telling you about a chick I fucked years ago?”

“To make me feel special?” I teased.

Cooper laughed. “Hell yeah. How could you not?”

Placing a hand on his chest, I smiled up at him. “I feel like maybe your giant brain needs to dumb things down so I can understand.”

Still grinning, Cooper gave me a nod. “That girl was the only time I didn’t win a chick over in the sack. I might irritate girls when our clothes are on, but I’m a stud for a reason. Yet, three times we’ve been together and you didn’t enjoy any of it.”

“I did enjoy it. You weren’t paying attention.”

“I need you to enjoy it more.”

“I’m sorry, but you need to stop being such a giant fucking baby.”

Cooper burst out laughing so hard that he nearly knocked me into the water. Fortunately, he wrapped his arm tighter around my waist and kept from dunking me.

Still grinning, he said, “I want my girl to feel good. Isn’t that a worthy cause to whine about?”

“Yeah, sure, but you ignore all of the good stuff. Like how I’m running around naked in front of you. That’s not me. I’m modest and afraid of being judged and embarrassed. Yet, I’m naked outside because I feel comfortable enough with you. Plus, I’m not letting you have sex with me to be nice. I want to be with you. It’s obvious how I’m messed up and stuff. You should be impressed that I love you enough to want sex even though I get weird about it.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty amazing.”

“Very.”

“You’ll stay tonight, right?” he asked, kissing my neck. “I missed the shit out of you when I left town. Leaving you last night killed me and I stayed for an hour, just willing you to wake up and ask me to spend the night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It probably would have freaked you out to wake up drunk with me staring at you.”

“Sexy stalker.”

“Hot bitch.”

“I’ll stay, but I’m not going to lie and say I’m super comfortable with that.”

“Why?”

“Bad breath and other embarrassing stuff.”

“Baby, you’re mine and nothing is going to change that.”

I planned to say something really sexy or profound or likely dumb, but my stomach growled loudly enough to be heard over the hot tub.

Cooper glanced down and frowned. “You need to eat more.”

“It’s all of the food from earlier. It made my body think more was coming.”

“Oh, and it is. Hey, let’s grill. I’ll get a few steaks going and we’ll grill potatoes.

Studying Cooper, I felt a weird sadness rush over me. For a minute, I just watched him then blinked away tears. His smile faded and we stared at each other until I could speak.

“The way you live is pretty amazing to someone like me.”