Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

“If some guy fucked my sister like I fucked you, I’d kick his ass. And if the asshole told me he loved my sister, I’d tell him he was full of shit. Last night, there was a moment when I knew you weren’t ready and it was your first time and I thought to stop. I didn’t though.”


Cooper said a lot of important things, but like any girl I focused on the word we all wanted to hear from a guy. Instead of responding to the magical word though, I focused on calming his self-directed anger.

“If you had stopped, I probably would have cried anyway. I would have felt embarrassed and might not have given you another chance.”

“Don’t bullshit me. You had to get drunk to sleep with me. You actually fucking said those words and I just thought about how much I wanted you and it would all be fine.”

“It is fine.”

Sighing, Cooper started the truck. “You know what I said.”

Realizing he was talking about his feelings for me, I nodded. “Things inside me are all jumbled up.”

“I’m not asking you to say it back. I’m asking you to let me give you a better time. I don’t want last night to be your first time.”

“It wasn’t.”

Cooper smashed his fists on the steering wheel and exhaled angrily. “What happened before doesn’t count! You fucking know that, right? It didn’t count. You were a virgin last night and I fucked up.”

“Okay!” I yelled, shaking from his rage. “You fucked up! Let it go and drive me to your house or take me home. Just stop scaring the shit out of me.”

Glaring at me, Cooper didn’t put the car into drive. “Why are you with me?”

“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging as I looked out the window. “I just like being with you. I like the way I feel when I’m with you.”

“Even now?”

“Yeah, even now,” I told him, finally meeting his gaze. “If you want to make things up to me, why are you yelling and acting scary? How does that make it better?”

“It doesn’t, but you have to understand something,” he said, holding my gaze. “I’m fucking perfect.”

Despite my common sense, I laughed at the sincerity behind his words. Cooper gave me a tiny grin.

“I don’t fuck up. I don’t do stupid shit. I’m the smart one in my family. Tucker fucks up. Bailey acts emotionally. I don’t do that. It’s why I have to be the lawyer. Why my pop wants me to take over for him when he’s ready to sit on his ass and pretend he’s retired. I’m the perfect one, but there was nothing perfect about last night. I just wanted you and I lied about the rest. I knew I’d fallen hard for you and I figured that meant I could keep going and it would be fine. The perfect part of me knew I had it backwards. You were special and I needed to stop. I hate that I let myself be so stupid. I don’t want to be Tucker.”

“Who would?” I said, grinning.

Cooper laughed. “I know, right?”

Even with the urge to take my chances walking home rather than remain tied to this complicated man, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over to kiss him.

“You make me stupid too, Coop,” I said, grazing his lips with mine. “You make me crazy and scared, but I like you so much that it feels worth it. I wish I knew if my feelings were love. I wish I could make a declaration, but I’m not used to having nice things. No matter how much you scare me, you are a very nice thing and I never dreamed I’d have a shot at keeping you interested. I’m glad I was wrong.”

Cooper pulled me closer and kissed me hard and deep. I realized he hadn’t given me a real kiss since arriving that morning. I also realized he truly believed I would dump him and it was making him miserable. As horrible as it was, this fact made me happy. Cooper possessed so much power over me that it was a relief knowing I had power too.

“How do I make it up to you?” he asked, holding me on his lap.

“Is that a sex question?” I asked, kissing his neck.

“It could be. Baby, I need to do something special for you because last night wasn’t special.”

“There’s one thing I want, but it’s not sex and I don’t think you’ll want to do it.”

“It’s not lame, is it?”

Lifting my head from the crook of his neck, I frowned at him. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me. Even if I’ll hate doing it, I want to prove I’m not Tucker.”

“You’re not Tucker.”

“Tell me,” he said, leaning his forehead against mine. “Pretty please.”

Laughing, I sighed. “The first night you came to my apartment, you did something that felt really good.”

Cooper scowled as he replayed that evening. “I don’t remember making any especially hot moves on you.”

“I said it wasn’t sex.”

“Well, we didn’t have sex that night so I knew it wasn’t sex.”

“You won’t want to do it. Forget it. A nice day at your house will be my reward for you not being perfect.”

“Nope,” he said, holding me still on his lap. “Tell me.”

“I want a foot massage.”

“Bull.”

“No, really.”

Cooper grinned. “Why wouldn’t I want to massage you? I want you to feel good like you make me feel.”

“My feet are killing me from working and walking so much and you have talented fingers.”