Where the Memories Lie

 

I dumped the box on the island in the kitchen and called Anna.

 

She came in and sat down on one of the stools while I made a cup of chamomile tea to stop my hands shaking with, well, with a culmination of everything, really.

 

Anna pulled out two table tennis bats. ‘I got these off Chris.’

 

I picked one up, a sudden memory of him and Ethan playing it together. ‘Yeah, he had a craze on ping pong for a while. Used to try and rope us all into playing. Granddad set up a table in the back garden one summer. It’s still in the garage, actually. Oh, where did you get that from?’ I picked up an ornately carved elephant in dark wood. Inside its belly you could see a baby elephant.

 

‘Nadia. She had loads of stuff in a box in the loft I went through.

 

She said I could have whatever.’

 

‘She must’ve got it when they went on safari for their honeymoon.’

 

‘What’s that?’ I lifted out an old vinyl record of Complete Madness by Madness. It must’ve belonged to Lucas. He used to love them. Despite everything, I felt a smile overtake me, remembering us all dancing at Nadia and Lucas’s house one day before the girls came along and we got a bit more sensible. All of us had arms and legs waving around, jumping up and down, Madness-style, and pogoing everywhere. I think Ethan actually got a black eye from Lucas’s elbow, and I accidentally smashed one of Nadia’s favourite glass vases that was a wedding present from a friend.

 

‘What’s funny?’ Anna asked.

 

‘Just us lot, being mad.’ Would we ever have the chance to laugh and be crazy together again? Or would Ethan or Chris be locked up in a prison cell for the rest of their life?

 

I put it back then picked up another magic wooden box, smaller than the one Tom had made for Eve. It was made out of pine and had 21 carved into the top with flowers around it.

 

I remembered Tom giving it to Nadia for her twenty-first birthday.

 

272

 

Where the Memories Lie

 

‘Did you ask Nadia if she wanted to keep this? Granddad made it for her.’

 

She shrugged. ‘Yeah, I asked her. She said anything in the box could go.’

 

‘Do you really need to get everything out on the kitchen worktop?’

 

She peered into the bottom of the box. ‘But I’m looking for the necklace that was in here. Did you see it?’ She turned to look at me. ‘It’s silver but it looks kind of dirty, and it’s got a pendant of a sun and a star on it with some writing on the back. It’s not here anymore.’

 

Icy fingers of dread clamped over my scalp. ‘Necklace?’

 

‘Yeah. I think . . .’ She scrunched up her face. ‘I think it must’ve fallen out.’

 

‘Fallen out,’ I repeated, sounding like a parrot.

 

‘I was stretching up, trying to put the box on the shelf above but it was too heavy and it tipped over. Some of the stuff fell onto the floor. I picked up everything I could see, but I must’ve missed it. It’s probably still on the floor in there somewhere.’

 

I stared at her but I wasn’t really listening.

 

‘Mum?’ She waved a hand in front of my face.

 

I snapped to attention, standing up and retrieving the necklace from the drawer. ‘Do you mean this?’

 

She reached out for it. ‘Hey, you found it! Thanks, Mum.

 

I think I could get quite a bit for it if I clean it up. You’ve got some silver cleaner, haven’t you?’

 

I enclosed it in my clenched hand. ‘Where did you get it from?’

 

I asked.

 

So she told me.

 

273

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Two

 

 

Chris opened his front door, looking even worse than before, if that was possible. A waft of alcohol fumes engulfed him. He smelled like Rose, and it made me want to throw up all over him.

 

‘Hi,’ he said to me, then turned to Anna and ruffled her hair.