If we were worth the fight.
Staci had been at work all day, and I had only moved off the couch to eat our leftover pizza from the night before. I was wearing an oversized t-shirt that I had stolen from Parker when I was eighteen years old, and I hadn’t brushed my hair for as long as I could remember.
When there was a knock on the door, I considered not answering it. No one needed to see me like this, but no one knew I was here. But it was probably a package from Amazon since Staci ordered paperbacks about three times a week like a hoarder. I told her that there was no way she could fit any more on her shelves, but she looked at me like I had just given her the most welcome challenge.
I pulled the door open, squinting as the sunlight flooded her living room, and then I stared at Parker.
He looked so damn handsome. He always had, but he also looked tired. Dark circles shadowed his normally bright eyes.
I stepped out of the doorway to let him in, and I fidgeted with the edge of my t-shirt as we stood in awkward silence.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was rough, and I could feel the rumble of it throughout my whole body.
“I know.”
“No. You don’t.” He stepped toward me. His body only a few inches away from mine. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell your brother how I felt about you when I was sixteen years old. I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you even though you ran through my every thought every single day.”
I shook my head to stop him, but he continued.
“I’m sorry that I dated Madison when I imagined she was you every time we touched. I’m sorry that I let her come between us when it should have been me and you against the world. I’m sorry that I let you leave. I’m sorry that I didn’t demand you come back with me when I showed up at your dorm and you were on a date with someone else.”
“What?” I asked, but he held up his hand.
“I need to get this out. Okay?”
I nodded my head.
“I’m sorry that I ever tried to forget you. I’m sorry that I tried to love Emily while I secretly drew your face in my sketchbook every night. I’m sorry…” He swallowed, and I watched his throat work. “I’m sorry that I made love to you when I wasn’t one hundred percent yours. If I could go back, I would change it all.”
Tears were running down my cheeks, and he reached up and caught them with his thumbs.
“But my biggest regret, something I will live with for the rest of my life, is that you didn’t know how much I have loved you since I was sixteen years old. Every day, every single day, I have loved you. As much as I tried,” he cupped my chin in his hand. “I have never figured out how to not be madly in love with everything you do.”
I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks, and as I tried to catch my breath, I hiccupped, causing Parker to laugh.
He pressed his lips against mine softly, just the faintest touch, and I felt everything inside me settle. He lifted me in the air, my legs instantly wrapping around him, and he set me on top of the kitchen counter.
“But my grand gesture?”
“What?” Parker looked at me like I was crazy as he ripped his old t-shirt over my head.
“Staci told me I had to do a grand gesture. Like that book I just read. He saved her from a fire, and they fell in love. I was supposed to save you from a fire or something. I should have bought a fireman’s outfit.”
Parker lowered his face to look at me, staring at me for a long moment before he said, “Babe, trust me when I tell you, you have saved me.”
His movements were hungry but reserved. I could practically feel his tension radiating under my fingertips. He was so controlled and so restrained.
I hated it.
I didn’t want him to love me tenderly. I wanted him to bury his hands in my hair and get lost in me. I wanted him to bruise my lips and stain my skin with his need. I wanted him to dig his fingers into my soul and make love to the storm inside me. I wanted him to remind me how to breathe by taking my breath away, to love me recklessly. I didn’t need his hesitant touch or guarded desire. What I needed was to feel his fire and know that I wasn’t burning alone.
He drug his bottom lip against mine. Not a kiss. A barely there touch. But I still felt my body arching off the counter, begging for more. My tongue tracing the shape of his lips.
“Please, Parker.” I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it behind me.
His hands in my hair tightened and his gentle lips became demanding. No longer was there a calm tease of tongues or slow drag of lips. His mouth was punishing against mine. Teeth clashed, tongues dueled, and hearts pounded against one another.
My hands dug into his back holding him close to me and his hips settled between my open thighs. I barely had any clothes on, but I felt like I was on fire. My skin burned under his touch.
He pulled away from my mouth and trailed kisses down my neck. His hands worked their way down my body before jerking my hips closer to him. I could feel his hardness pressed against me, and I was dying to remove all the barriers between us.
My fingers fumbled with the button of his jeans, and I had to slow my trembling hands down to accomplish the task. He stepped back away from me before helping me to my feet. With a flick of his fingers, my bra fell to the floor and he stared at my breasts, his eyes becoming feral.
Before I even realized it was happening, his hands gripped my ass, he lifted me in the air, and he slammed me back on top of the counter. The cool granite hit the overheated skin of my back, and I arched away, the sensation too much. Parker took that as an opportunity to drag my nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicking rapidly, his teeth causing a delicious ache.
The strands of his hair were gripped tight in my fingers, and I didn’t know where I wanted him more. I needed him everywhere. My body craved the touch of his hands. It begged for the trace of his lips.
His mouth worked its way down my body hearing my silent request, and I squirmed on the counter as he traced the curve of my hips with his tongue. His fingers hooked into the side of my black panties, and he slowly dragged them down my trembling thighs. His mouth never leaving my skin.
He nipped at the sensitive skin of my thighs. His tongue, lips, and teeth teasing me and drawing out my short, rapid breaths. He looked up at me then. His eyes staring straight into mine while I silently begged him to put me out of my misery.
“I’ve missed you so damn much, Livy.”
I wanted to tell him that I had missed him too. He needed to know how much I loved him, but he didn’t give me a chance. Instead, he took away my voice and my breath with a swipe of his tongue. The only sound I could manage was screaming out his name.