“What the fuck do you mean I’m not ready? Trust me. I’ve been in love with that girl for over four years. I’m more than ready.”
“What about Emily?” She hopped up onto her kitchen counter and pulled a spoon out of a tub of icing that sat in the fridge.
“I’ll deal with Emily, but I have to get to Livy.”
She shook her head like I was the biggest idiot in the world. “What you need to do is deal with Emily before you go anywhere near Livy. You can’t go to her like this.” She waved her spoon in my direction. “You look half-crazy in your after-sex glow. If you want to do this right, then you have to be in it one hundred percent. You can’t be confessing your love to Livy when you still have a ring on another girl’s finger. Take my advice on this. I read a lot of romance novels.”
“Okay.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Okay, but will you promise me that you won’t let her run.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” She plopped the spoon filled with icing in her mouth.
“I’m not kidding, Staci. I can’t fucking live without her again. I won’t.”
“Then get on your white horse there buddy and figure out how to be her knight in shining fucking armor.”
I kissed her on her forehead, her hair smelling of vanilla icing and making me question exactly how much she’s had to eat.
“I owe you one.” I started walking toward the door.
“Yeah, yeah. You can pay me in ink.”
L I V Y
Present
“He’s gone.” Staci poked her head into her spare bedroom.
“I heard.” I was sitting on the edge of her guest bed trying to take in everything that had happened.
“Did you hear what he said?” She plopped down on the bed next to me.
“Yes, but does it really change anything?” I fell back onto the bed and stared up at her ceiling.
“Well, I guess the real question is, do you believe him? If the answer is no, then no, it doesn’t change a damn thing. If the answer is yes, then it changes everything.”
I watched the ceiling fan spin around and around as I thought about her words. Did I believe him? Without a doubt, but I also didn’t know if that was just me being foolish or not. I had believed every word that ever left his mouth once upon a time.
I had believed that nothing would ever come between us, but it did.
I thought about everything we had been through, all the shit that we had let keep us apart, and I knew that no matter what, after all this time, I wanted nothing more than to be with Parker James.
“I believe him.”
Staci clapped her hands scaring the crap out of me. “So what’s the plan?”
“The plan?” I turned my head to look at her.
“Oh, dear God. Do none of you know what romance is? We must have a plan. Some grand gesture to let him know that you still love him as much as he loves you.”
“I don’t have a plan.” I groaned.
“I know.” Staci bounced on the bed. “You can get your vagina pierced.”
“What kind of romance are you reading?” I balked.
“True. Wrong genre.” She jumped off the bed and pulled me with her into her bedroom.
“What are we doing?” I asked as I stared at her floor to ceiling bookshelves that were covered in books of every color.
“Research.”
P A R K E R
Present
Telling Emily only a few days before our wedding that I was in love with someone else was a huge mistake. I should have broken it off with her the moment Livy walked back into my life, but I was an idiot.
She was furious. Livid. But she didn’t look heartbroken.
She threw a vase of flowers at my head the moment the words “I can’t do this” left my lips.
“What do you mean, you can’t do this?” She seethed.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Emily. I swear, but you know as well as I do that we’re not meant to be together.”
“No. What I know is that we have over two hundred guests coming to our wedding in less than a week.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I looked around the room at the wedding decorations that were waiting to be shown off on our big day.
“You’re sorry. You’re fucking sorry?” she yelled. It was one of the first times I had ever heard Emily cuss. “My dad was right about you, Parker. You’re fucking trash.”
I nodded my head and bit my tongue. I was breaking the girl’s heart. I deserved every bit of hate she was throwing at me.
“I’m so fucking glad I never let you tattoo me. God, I couldn’t imagine having that shit on me for the rest of my life.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and took a deep breath. “Tell your dad that I’ll cover all the cost of the wedding.”
“We don’t want your pity money, Parker. Just leave.”
“Emily.” I reached out for her. Regardless of what happened, I didn’t want to hurt her. I never meant to hurt her.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” She stared at me, the girl I was prepared to marry, a girl who I loved, but she was looking straight through me. “You should know that I cheated on you at my bachelorette party.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
I listened to her words, but they didn’t hit me like they should have. They didn’t affect me at all. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Emily. I’m truly sorry.”
I started walking to the door, but her next words stopped me.
“You still love her, don’t you?”
“What?” I turned to look at her.
“I’m not stupid, Parker. You don’t draw a portrait of a girl who looks exactly like her for years for no reason.”
We stared at each other for a long minute with neither of us saying anything.
“Yes. I’m still in love with her.”
She toyed with the diamond ring on her hand before sliding if off her hand and placing it on the table in front of her. “Fuck you, Parker.”
L I V Y
Present
It had been a week since I had laid eyes on him. I took Staci’s advice and read as many romance books as a girl could while she was hiding out, but I didn’t feel a bit closer to having any idea what I was supposed to do.
I wanted to run to him. I did, but Staci had told me that he had been dealing with canceling the wedding and all the drama that went along with that and I knew he didn’t need me complicating matters.
But he canceled his wedding.
His fucking wedding.
For me.
I searched the backs of her paperbacks for a story about high school sweethearts who had completely fucked up everything trying to love each other, but no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find our story.
I read about a firefighter who stormed into a building braving the blazing fire to save the girl who was stranded on the fifth floor and how they lived happily ever after, and I almost threw the book through the wall.
Parker’s and my love story wasn’t a perfect romance novel. It was complicated, filled with lies, heartbreak, and secrets. I didn’t know if we could ever get past everything we had been through.