I didn’t have time to think about whether what we were doing was right or wrong. I could only think about how badly I wanted him, and as he pulled my shirt over my head, I did absolutely nothing to stop him.
The door to his and Brandon’s office crashed against the wall and my back hit the cold wood of his desk. I searched his eyes, but there wasn’t an ounce of indecision there as he pulled my pants down my legs.
He didn’t give me a chance to catch my breath let alone my conscious as he began nipping at the delicate skin of my thighs. I let my head fall back against his desk as his breath trailed over me. The moment his mouth pressed against my panties, I thought I was going to die. He ran his tongue over the fabric which was already wet with want, his hands wrapping around my thighs, and when he jerked me to the end of the desk, my body colliding with his, I cried out in pleasure.
He stared down at me, his eyes roaming over every inch of my skin, and his hand running over my tattoo. His hand trembled precariously close to my breastbone, and I watched him, the exact moment the last ounce of his control snapped visible before my eyes. His fingers curled into the edge of my panties and then the fabric was shredded as he ripped it from my body.
I couldn’t catch my breath as he flipped me over the desk, my face pressed against the wood, my ass on full display.
He gripped my hips in his rough hands before he finally slammed into me. The desk scraped against the floor, too weak against his power, and I gripped the edge as he slid into me over and over.
I had never felt like this before, engulfed so completely by someone else. Every inch of my skin dying for his touch. He gripped his hand in my hair, standing me up before he sat down in his chair pulling me down on top of him.
I began moving my body against his as he wrapped his arms around my torso. I looked down at his inked skin, so beautiful, and I laced my trembling bare hand in his. He lifted our hands together, pressing them against my chin, turning my face toward his, and I got lost as his lips devoured mine.
I didn’t think about how much we had hurt each other. I didn’t think about his fiancée. Not a trace of our ghosts or an ounce of fear of our future lived in that space. It was only me and Parker, and as his fingers dug into my hips, I fell apart around me.
Spiraling out of control. I never wanted to stop, because for the first time in a very long time, I felt like I wasn’t broken anymore. The madness inside me settled, and I knew, that no matter what happened from this moment forward, I would never recover from Parker James.
P A R K E R
Present
I was such a fucking fool. When Livy was in my arms, I felt like I was finally alive again. I breathed her in, filling my lungs, and I never wanted to know what it felt like to not be able to breathe again.
But when I woke up on the floor of my office twenty minutes before I was supposed to be at the wedding venue for our rehearsal, I woke up alone. I jumped from the floor, pulling my jeans on, and searching the space for a single trace of her. The contents of my desk were scattered on the floor and my skin was covered with the scent of her perfume. I looked around the room remembering the night before, and I pulled at my hair in frustration.
When I had fallen asleep, it was with her in my arms. We didn’t speak of the future. We didn’t make each other any promises, but that didn’t matter to me. I thought… I fucking thought that last night meant something to both of us.
I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. Ten missed calls from Emily lit up my screen, but I quickly cleared them away. I would deal with Emily. I had to, but right now, Livy was the only thing on my mind.
I hit her name and the phone shook in my hand as I listened to each ring while holding my breath. When she didn’t answer, I quickly called her again. This time, her voicemail picked up on the third ring and thought I was going to lose my fucking mind.
I threw my shirt over my head and headed to my car while dialing Brandon’s number.
“Hey, man.”
“Hey. Have you seen her?” My voice was rushed and heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.
“Yes. She’s here at the church where you’re supposed to be. Where are you?”
I stopped in my tracks. “She’s at the church?”
“Yeah, man, and she’s already bossing everyone around. You better get here before I kill her.”
“Who are you talking about?”
“Your fiancée. Who the hell are you talking about?” He was whisper-yelling into the phone.
“Livy. I have to find her.”
“It’s about fucking time.”
“Can you cover for me there?” I had no clue what I was going to do, but I knew I wasn’t going to that church.
“Of course.”
I drove to Livy’s house and banged on the door like a maniac, but no one answered. Her brother would be at the church with my other friends, and irrationally I wanted to kill him for not being home so I could search for her.
I went to Staci’s house next.
She opened the door wearing nothing but a long t-shirt, a messy bun on the top of her head, and a death stare.
“Stac, is she here?”
She put her hands on her hips. “You have a lot of nerve, Parker.”
“I don’t have time for this. Is she here?”
When she didn’t answer me, I stormed past her and started looking around her apartment.
“Are you insane? What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Staci was following me around her space, but I didn’t care what she had to say. I wouldn’t let Livy run again.
“You are her best friend, Staci. Where is she?” I sounded frantic, and I could see a trace of pity in her eyes before she looked away. “I can’t let her run again. I can’t handle it.”
“Did you ever stop to think about why she ran?”
“We’re both scared…”
Staci shook her head interrupting me. “No, Parker. You just cheated on your fiancée with her.”
“So you’ve talked to her.”
She held up her hand. “She ran the first time because you cheated on her and destroyed the girl that she was. She can’t live with herself knowing that she’s helping you do it to someone else.”
“What?”
Staci opened her mouth to talk, but I interrupted her. “I never cheated on her.”
“It’s a little late for that, Parker. She knows that you were sleeping with that girl you got knocked up when you were with her.” She rolled her eyes at me, and it was as if everything finally clicked into place.
Livy thought I cheated on her. That was why she ran. That was why she left me.
“I swear to God, Stac. I never cheated on her. I fucking love her. I always have.”
Staci looked at me, watching me closely, trying to see if what I was saying was the truth. I bit my tongue as she took her time. I knew if I snapped at her again then she would never tell me where she was.
“Please,” I begged.
“I can’t tell you, Parker.” She shook her head. “You’re not ready.”