Where Good Girls Go To Die (Good Girls #1)
Holly Renee
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they realize that the things they thought they wanted are never going to happen. All those dreams of happily ever afters and white picket fences, they disappeared through my grasp as if I was trying to hold onto a cloud of smoke. Useless and unrealistic.
I learned the hard way that reality was a cold, hard bitch. She didn’t ease me into it slowly. There was no gentle push that had me blinking open my caramel colored eyes until I saw the truth in front of me.
I cliff dived.
Falling hard, frantically clinging to what I desperately wanted, I hit reality as if I jumped head first into a body of ice-cold water. Gasping for breath, the pain was instant, but unlike the water, it didn’t make me numb. Instead, I felt that pain every day. It had settled into my bones causing a constant, dull ache.
My pain was as much a part of me as anything else. It was real and tangible, and just when I thought the pressure on my chest was easing a bit and I finally took a deep breath, reality reminded me who ruled and crushed me again just as easily as the first time.
I never expected that I would end up here. When I think back, I’m not really sure how it happened. Where everything went wrong.
It was a day just like any other. The smell of smoke and overly sweet perfume clung to my skin as I walked in the door. With the click of the latch, the world outside disappeared and I entered a world of mystery, lust and skin.
My steps were calculated and confident as I made my way over to my station, but my hands shook as I began rimming my eyes in coal black. It was easy to fool everyone else, too easy, but fooling myself was impossible. I searched my reflection for a trace of the innocence that once lay there. But all traces of the girl I used to know were gone.
Delicate black lace encased my breasts, a sharp contrast against my pale skin, and it would have looked beautiful if men weren’t going to be yelling at me to take it off within the next few minutes. In a different situation, in a different life, I probably would have liked the feel of the soft fabric against my skin, but in this life, it was suffocating. It was a gentle reminder of what I had become, and it burned my skin like a brand.
I watched all the girls in the room as they put on their facade. Each one of them had a different story that led them here. It wasn’t a choice many people made without reason. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know what brought me to this point, but fuck, I hated thinking about it. Not because my story was one of tragedy, but it was one of heartbreak. I let a man destroy me, and as a result, I became a coward.
“Liv, you’re up doll,” Mark called from the silk curtain before smiling at me.
Mark was sleazy, but he was nice to me. I bought his kindness by making him the most money, but I’d take it either way. I had no friends in Atlanta. I had no family. They were all back in Tennessee, but I couldn’t think about Tennessee because it made me think of him. I couldn’t afford to think about him. It fucked with my head. It fucked with everything.
I could feel the stares and hear the harsh whispers from the other girls as I walked by, but I didn’t care about their opinions of me. There was a time when I would have cared what they thought, but that was long gone. All that mattered now was that the men loved me, no one here was close enough to hurt me, and I would leave with a wad full of cash at the end of the night.
“We’ve got a bachelor party in room one,” Mark read from his clipboard in front of him. “They’ve paid a lot of money, and I promised them our best.” He ran his chubby finger down my cheek, and I forced myself not to pull away from his touch. The smell of liquor and cheap aftershave choked me, but I hid my rush of nausea behind a fake smile that I had learned to master over the last few years. “You’ll start, then I’ll have some of the other girls join you.”
Bachelor parties were one of my least favorite parts of this job. Tainted wasn’t some hole in the wall club where just anyone could walk in. It was elite and the men who walked through those doors were as well. They had expectations. They had specific tastes, and Tainted catered to those tastes.
But bachelor parties?
They were another beast.
Men at bachelor parties were rowdy. Alcohol flowed, inhibitions were low, and the men were fueled by the idea of only being with one woman for the rest of their lives.
I took a deep breath as I made my way to room one. Several men sat in the private room facing the stage where I would dance. Their eyes searched the black curtains waiting for me to appear as the lights in the room began to dim. Seduction was in the air, and I was the temptress.
The strong beat of the music shook the stage below my feet as I got settled behind the curtain. My hands gripped the intricate black mask as I situated it over my eyes. Mark thought I wore it to give myself a more mysterious appeal, but I needed that mask. It was the only way I could build the courage to go up on stage. It kept me hidden. It kept me safe.
On the outside, I looked like a sexy, confident woman, but on the inside, I was dying a little bit every time I went out on stage. But I could hide it. I had to.
The song built and when I heard my cue to enter the stage, I took a deep breath, filling my lungs, and blew out all my nerves. I wasn’t Olivia Mae Conner anymore. I was Liv, and I ruled this stage.
My black high heels shined in the spotlight as I walked out onto the small black platform. The men catcalled as soon as they saw me, but I attempted to block them out. I focused on the beat of “Shameless” by The Weeknd, my song, and I let the lyrics sink into me.
My right hand met the pole at the center of the stage and the cold metal caused chill bumps to break out across my skin. Circling the pole slowly, I looked out into the room.
Most of the men wore sharp suits that were perfectly pressed and exquisitely fit. Long cigars hung from their mouths and glasses full of their choice of poison sat in their hands.
I made my way back around the front of the pole, and I quickly dropped down, my back against the cold metal, my thighs spread open, my body on display. I heard a few sharp inhales of breath, and I knew that I was doing my job. Hunger stared back at me in the eyes of the men that surrounded me.
I rolled my hips as I began to stand, but my footing faltered when I looked into the pair of green eyes that were staring at me from the center of the room. Undeniable lust looked back at me.