“I don’t care if you believe me because it’s the truth. The moment Emily walked into my life, I forgot all about Livy.”
His face was forming into this stupid ass grin that he always did when he thought he was being really funny or that he had an epic plan. It was a look that made me fucking nervous.
“Well here’s your chance to prove it,” he spoke against the rim of his glass before looking away and trying to hide his smile.
“Hey, Parker.” My name was slightly slurred, and when I looked over at Livy swinging her legs on the booth across from me, it was easy to tell that she was well on her way to hammered.
“Hey, Livy.” I cleared my throat.
“Ugh.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t call me that. I go by Liv now.”
“Whatever you say, Livy.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and I smiled. I missed this. The back and forth. The push and pull.
“So, am I going to get to meet your fiancée when I get back?” She had her brave face on, but I could see the vulnerability in her eyes. I had always been able to see it.
“If that’s what you want.”
“What’s her name?”
I started to answer, but she held up her hand to cut me off.
“No. Wait. Let me guess.” She tapped her index finger against her chin playfully, and I felt each beat against my chest.
“Veronica. No. No. Jasmine?” She watched me for a reaction, but I didn’t give her one. My best friend though, that asshole was chuckling at her antics.
“It has to be something exotic. I mean only the best for Parker James, right?” She was making a fool of herself, but I was letting her. This was the most she had spoken to me in four years. Four fucking years.
“Please tell me it isn’t Francesca.” She put her hand dramatically against her chest.
“It’s not Francesca,” I said calmly.
“Well I give up. What’s her name?” She leaned forward like she was really interested, but I doubted she truly was.
“Emily.” I almost choked on her name. “Her name is Emily.”
She closed her eyes briefly. She probably thought I wouldn’t notice, but she had been drinking and she was showing more of herself than she normally would.
“I’m surprised.” She opened her eyes and looked straight at me. “Emily is a good girl name. You never really had a thing for good girls.”
“Didn’t I?” My gaze didn’t waver from hers, and I could tell she was getting nervous. She probably had some grand plan in her head before she made her way over here, and it wasn’t going quite like she thought it would. “You were a good girl, weren’t you?”
I took another sip of my whiskey, and I watched as her anxiety morphed into anger.
“You didn’t have a thing for me, Parker. I was nothing more than your dirty little secret.” She stood from her seat, and I watched her movements as she came closer to me. Her hand landed on the back of the booth behind my head and her face was only inches from mine. I could smell cranberry juice and vodka on her lips, and I wanted nothing more than to lean forward and taste it as well.
I felt intoxicated by her proximity, the whiskey having nothing on her, and it made me forget everything. I forgot that I hurt her, that she hurt me, that she ran, but more than anything, I forgot that I wasn’t hers anymore.
She stared into my eyes as she spoke the next words, but my gaze bounced between her eyes and her full lips.
“I may have been a good girl then, but you destroyed every piece of her. I actually feel bad for Emily, because you, Parker James, are where good girls go to die.”
Her words sank into me as she pushed off the booth and turned her back to me.
They settled into my chest, taking root exactly where she wanted them.
“You are so fucking screwed.”
I looked over at Brandon. I had completely forgotten he was there, but he was right, I was completely fucked.
P A R K E R
Four years and five and a half months earlier
I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
She had been avoiding me for two weeks, and it was driving me insane.
Every time Madison walked by, I compared how she looked to Livy.
Every time she spoke, I thought about how much more Livy and I had in common.
It was shitty. I knew that, but I couldn’t stop.
And I tried, believe me, I tried everything.
I thought that maybe I could fuck her out of my mind.
When Madison wouldn’t stop talking about some girl she hated, I just kissed the shit out of her to get her to shut up. But instead of thinking about her lips against mine, I imagined they were Livy’s. Madison’s lips tasted like strawberries and were sticky from some crap she put on them. I imagined that Livy’s were soft and smooth.
When I grabbed Madison’s hips, I thought of the curvier ones that belonged to Livy.
It worked for a while. Replacing Madison in my mind with the one I really wanted. I knew what kind of dirt bag that made me, but I couldn’t help it.
Madison was into it too. At least, she was into me. Because it was the most I had ever been into her.
She clung to me like she never wanted to let me go, and when I thought about Livy doing the same, I had never been so turned on in my life.
But that all went downhill.
Because Madison ruined it. Fuck. I ruined it.
With just three little words. Words that typically meant nothing when you’re nineteen-years-old, but as soon as the words left her lips, I knew I couldn’t go any further. I may not have loved Madison, but she didn’t deserve what I was doing to her. She didn’t deserve to be replaced with someone else in my mind.
So instead of repeating her breathless words back to her, I gripped her arms softly and pushed her off me. I could see the rejection in her eyes staring back at me, and it hurt, but not as much as when I saw it from Livy.
When Livy jumped out of my truck after our almost kiss, it gutted me.
I didn’t even feel a fraction of that for Madison, and that’s how I knew that I couldn’t continue this any longer.
“What’s wrong?” Her words were broken, and I hated that I was hurting her.
“I can’t do this anymore, Madison.”
“Is it because I said I love you? I can take it back. I didn’t even mean it.” She was scrambling to save what we had, and I could see the desperation in her eyes.
“It’s not that. I just can’t do this anymore.” I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck and tried to avoid looking at her, like a coward.
“This is about her. Isn’t it?” Her voice was no longer soft and broken but full of fire and venom.
“Who?” As soon as the word left my mouth, I knew it was a mistake. Both of us knew exactly who she was talking about.
“What are you going to do, Parker?” She paced in front of me, venom spilling from her lips, the real Madison making an appearance. “Ruin your lifelong friendship over some piece of ass.”