His laugh was deep and sexy. “Don’t be. I’m not.” He stepped out of his jeans, tossed them onto the towel, and straightened. “But I need a quick swim because it’s harder for a man to hide how he’s feeling.”
No, don’t look. Don’t do it. Her eyes wandered down his broad chest, over his flat stomach, and halted at the obvious tenting of his swim trunks. Oh, God. If we weren’t in public, I would sink to my knees and welcome him back with my mouth.
This is bad.
She pulled her dress up and over her head and tossed it on top of his jeans. I need the cold swim as much as he does. “Race you in.” She took off at a run, splashing her way to deeper water.
“You’re on,” he said from close behind her, crashing through the waves as well.
The water was up to her chest before she stopped. He swung her around and up, surprising her, but also making her laugh.
“You won,” he said, sliding her down the front of him and standing her back up. “But it feels like I did.”
The cold water wasn’t as effective as he’d hoped. She put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, then pushed slightly off him. “This is harder than I thought.” She groaned when his eyebrows rose in response. “I mean more difficult.”
The laugh he let out was infectious. “For me, too, on both counts.”
It was too easy to smile with him, too easy to forget how much time had passed since they’d been together. Exciting, but equally scary. I’m usually sensible. I’ve always worked hard and made decisions I’ve been proud of. My father once said, “Easy rule of thumb: if you can’t look me in the eye and say you did it, chances are it’s not something you should be doing.”
I’m glad you’re not here now, Dad. I wouldn’t want to attempt explaining Spencer to you or to Ryan. I had an excuse when I leapt into his arms the first time: I was young.
What would be my excuse now? That I’m lonely?
That’s why I’m willing to risk losing my job? Uprooting Skye again? For sex? Really? I’m not better than that?
“We’re not going to be able to do this, are we? Be friends, I mean.” She heard the disappointment in her own voice.
Spencer’s smile was wry. “The beach might have been a bad idea.”
Her lips twisted in a matching smile. “Yeah.”
“It is a beautiful day, though. It would be a shame not to enjoy it.”
“We could set some ground rules. Like no touching.”
“No touching,” he repeated slowly. “Because you don’t like it when I touch you?”
She could have lied, but that was something they’d never done with each other. “Because I like it too much.”
He sucked in a breath audibly. “You’re not making this easy, Hailey.”
“I’m trying to be honest.”
“Your honesty makes it pretty damn hard to remember why we’re trying to be friends.”
Hailey watched the waves crash against the shore and disappear. Being with Spencer had been like that. Beautiful. Simple. Gone as soon as it hit resistance. A night or two in his arms wasn’t worth reliving losing him or risking the progress Skye had made. “I need more than what we had, Spencer.”
“What does ‘more’ mean?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Then how do we move forward?”
Hailey wrapped her arms around herself. Wasn’t this how I lost him the first time? Because I didn’t know what I wanted? Because by the time I figured it out I couldn’t articulate it? “I need something I can trust. Something solid.”
Spencer was old enough to have heard something similar from a variety of women. It wasn’t unusual for them to want more than he offered because normally he offered nothing beyond sex. He’d never had a problem issuing an ultimatum: take me as I am or take a hike.
He couldn’t imagine saying that to Hailey. In fact, when she looked at him with those big eyes of hers, he regretted being the kind of man who’d ever said it. Unlike the man he’d been for too long, she wasn’t in it for the thrill of the game. She was honest, even with her desire, and it touched him as deeply now as it had when they had been young virgins learning each other’s bodies together. With them it might not always have been good, but it had always been real.
Another man might have said exactly what she wanted to hear and not meant it, but that was another thing he could never do to her. “You need pie.”
She smiled at his reference, and he tried to ignore the way the waves seemed to caress her breasts each time they washed over them. “I guess I do. What about you?”
Not an easy question. I do love cake. What man doesn’t? At work. In bed. I’ve never been one to turn down a good piece of cake.
But has it made me happy?
Her smile wavered the longer he took to respond. He didn’t want to rush and say more than he meant. “I’ve never tried it.”
“Never?”
He frowned. “We’re still talking on a deeper level, right? Because I’m getting confused and a little hungry with all the pastry talk.”
“Hungry? Are you serious?” He liked how his joke returned a smile to her face.
He shrugged. He wasn’t in a place where he could give her the answers she was looking for, so it was better to lighten the mood. “I’m not that complicated. Feed me—”
She raised a hand toward him and said, “Stop right there.” But she was still smiling.
His grin widened. “I see you’ve become wise to the ways of men.”
“You, anyway,” she said lightly.
“I like to make you laugh. It’s my second favorite thing to do to you.”
Her chest and cheeks turned an adorable pink. “Rule two: easy on the innuendos.”
He rounded his eyes and touched his chest, feigning surprise. “Me? Have you heard yourself?”
“I have. Sorry.” She laughed and the sound sent his heart beating wildly in his chest.
She was relaxing with him, so he kept the banter up. “It’s understandable.” He flexed an arm for her. “What woman could be around all this and not have those thoughts?”
“Wow, that’s a healthy-sized ego you have there,” she said and splashed him.
He almost joked about what he had in an even larger size, but that would have broken rule number two. He could have pulled her to him and kissed her soundly, if not for rule one. Why did I agree to these rules?
Oh, yeah, because it’s Hailey.
And she matters.
In the end, Spencer’s body succumbed to the chill of the water and he felt safe in suggesting, “Want to get out and go for a walk down the beach?”
“I’ve always loved that.”
He frowned as they made their way back to shore. “I don’t remember us ever going to the beach together.”
“Unless you count Mangiarelli’s, campus, or your garage, we didn’t actually go anywhere.”
Shit. We didn’t. “Why did you date me?” he asked, turning to face her once they were both clear of the water.
She touched his arm gently. “I didn’t care where we were. I just enjoyed being with you.”
She was breaking rule one, but he wasn’t about to say it. “It was the same for me. I don’t remember ever having a bad time with you.”
Her hand fell away. “We didn’t have to work on it at all. Do you think that’s why it didn’t last?”