Trouble is a Friend of Mine

‘Or we could tell the police.’


‘You know if we did, it’ll suddenly become about us – how’d you get this, are you aware that’s a crime, blah-blah-blah. We should just go and –’

‘This list probably doesn’t mean anything. He’s, like, one of two gynecologists in this dinky town. It’s probably just a coincidence that my mom and Marina were both patients –’

‘Digby!’

Digby and I both jumped when Henry emerged from behind some bushes, sweaty and panting.

‘Oh, heeeey … Henry, I didn’t know you were coming,’ Digby said.

‘Of course you did – that’s why you tried to run me over on Chestnut,’ Henry said.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was you,’ Digby said.

‘I could hear you laughing in your car, bro.’

‘You can’t stop me, Henry.’

‘What’s this doctor got to do with Marina?’ Henry took the list from me. ‘Marina’s on this list … so’s your mom. You think because Val’s on this, he has something to do with Sally?’

‘Digby’s mom’s on the list too?’ I said.

‘Stay out of this, Zoe. This has nothing to do with you,’ Henry said.

‘Oh, but wait a second … this has something to do with you?’ Digby said. ‘Why are you here, Henry? I know it’s not because of me …’

Henry looked uncomfortable.

‘It’s not because of her.’ Digby pointed at me. ‘She’s not your type. No offense, Princeton.’

I hate when people use phrases like ‘no offense’ right after they say the crappiest things to you.

‘Oh, buuuuut … Marina’s exactly your type. Senior girl. Niiiiice,’ Digby said. ‘Although, super-bleached-out hair, heavy eye makeup, push-up bra on picture day … minus ten points. Insecure girls are easy pickings.’

‘D’you mind? A little respect,’ Henry said. ‘Yeah, we went out. Just for a month. We broke up at the beginning of summer.’

‘What, she found out you still had a curfew?’ Digby said.

‘Something like that,’ Henry said. ‘Anyway, she went psycho on me. Texting, turning up at the diner. Then I get this crazy text from her telling me to suck it because she’s hooked up with some guy with lots of money. She kept calling him a “real man,” whatever that means. Kinda gave the impression the dude was older. She disappeared a month later.’

‘Whoa, you think it was Schell?’ I remembered Schell’s pink bald head. ‘Ewwww … he was so shiny and gross.’

‘You told the police?’ Digby said.

‘Sure. They said Marina’s friends and family never heard of any rich guy. They said she probably made him up to get back at me. But I don’t think that’s true,’ Henry said. ‘Look, I’ll come along. But leave Zoe out of it.’

‘Let her make up her own mind,’ Digby said.

‘Yeah, I can make up my own mind,’ I said.

‘So, you are coming?’ Digby said.

‘No. But not because of what Henry said,’ I said.

‘Doesn’t matter why. You should just stay home tonight,’ Henry said.

‘Stop telling me what to do,’ I said.

‘Yeah, you going to let him tell you what to do?’ Digby said.

‘And can you stop being on my side, please?’ I said.

‘You don’t need her to come. I’m coming,’ Henry said.

‘If I let you come, you’re not allowed to lecture me,’ Digby said.

‘If you don’t want me to lecture you, let me do the driving,’ Henry said.

‘I don’t get it. Suddenly, everyone’s got a problem with my driving?’ Digby said.

‘After you jumped the curb and you tried – but failed – to run me over, you turned on your left turn signal and made a right,’ Henry said.

‘What? That there was some good Texas driving,’ Digby said.

‘Dude, seriously, you’d drive better if you were actually drunk,’ Henry said.

‘Getting your mom to let you back the van into the loading dock doesn’t make you a driving expert,’ Digby said.

‘Got my license last month,’ Henry said. ‘Only way I’m going, Digby, is if I drive.’

This was an argument Digby was only half interested in winning. He threw the keys to Henry.

‘Fine. But I call shotgun,’ Digby said, pointing at me.

‘Take it. I’m not coming,’ I said.

‘She’s not coming,’ Henry said.

‘Of course she is,’ Digby said.

They walked to the car.

‘She’s coming.’ Digby held up his hand in Henry’s face, fingers splayed. ‘I’m putting five on it.’