Nolan peered over his shoulder. “Do they bother you?”
I cringed that he knew me so well and how petty it would sound if I said yes. “No. Not really. Your fans are important to you.” Without them, Pushing Limits wouldn’t be as big as they were. Without them, the band wouldn’t have a chance of being bigger for the next album.
He brushed his thumb against my cheek. “But you’re important to me too.”
I gave him a small smile. “But you won’t always be here for me. You know that, right?”
“I know that. But while I am in Northbridge, I want to make sure you’re safe.”
“I can’t stop my life because of what happened. Just like you didn’t let what happened to you and your family stop you from going after what you wanted.”
He leaned into me, mere inches separating our mouths. His warm breath against my lips sent a delicious heat wave to my core. I barely kept from squirming against him.
“Except I did…” He didn’t finish the thought. His lips found mine.
The kiss wasn’t heated like last night. This kiss was something deeper. It was a part of us opening up and sharing a vulnerability inside us. But instead of making us weaker, it would ultimately make us stronger. Braver.
Or so I hoped.
Not that I understood what was going on between us. We were former best friends who were now fucking until he left. The advanced version of fuck buddies. As far as I could tell, Nolan didn’t do the girlfriend thing, other than in the eyes of the media.
He pulled away, breath heavy, and looked around us. “You and I need to talk.”
“I thought we were.”
He chuckled. “That’s not what I mean. I was referring to last night. About you and me. And—”
And then I got it. He meant about what happened last night. He was already regretting it. Except his arms were still around me. If his goal was to confuse me, he’d succeeded.
“And how you’ll be leaving soon.” I smiled even though it was the last thing I felt like doing. “Don’t worry, I get it. What happened between us was nothing more than a fling.” I almost said “meaningless fling,” but I couldn’t get the words out. It might’ve been meaningless for Nolan, but it was far from that for me.
He frowned. “A fling?”
“Okay, more like a…” A what? A one-night stand? A mistake? The best night of my life? Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t say the last one either.
“A one-night stand? Is that what you were going to say?” He pulled away. “Or was it just a pity fuck, Hailey? You felt bad for me and decided to fuck me to help me get over it?”
He might as well have slapped my face, except his accusation hurt worse.
I took a step back, needing to maintain distance between us. Fortunately, his fans had moved on. No one was listening to our conversation. “Is that all you think I’m capable of? That I’m nothing more than an empty shell who only does one-night stands?” I tried to sound pissed but sounded hurt instead.
I turned and stalked off. Last night’s storm had been nothing compared to how I felt after Nolan’s accusations.
I made it as far as the main entrance before Nolan grabbed my arm. A group of moms with young kids turned to see what was going on.
“I’m sorry, Forget-Me-Not. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way,” he said softly, doing his best to keep the conversation between us private. But it was a waste of time. Maybe if I was talking to someone who wasn’t a celebrity, no one would’ve paid attention to us. But at this point I was too angry to care either way.
“How did you plan for it to come out?” I asked.
He glanced away briefly. When he turned back to me, the battlefield of emotions was still etched on his otherwise perfect face. “I don’t want what happened last night to be nothing more than a meaningless one-night stand. I can get those anytime.”
“So you want us to be fuck buddies?” It spilled out harsher than I’d meant for it to sound, and I earned a few angry glares from the moms. I was too pissed to care.
“That’s not what I’m saying at all.” His face softened. “I want to be with you, Hailey. I want to go to sleep with you curled against me. I want to wake up and the first thing I see is you. I know I don’t have the right to say this because I’m leaving soon, but it’s how I feel.”
If ice had filled my insides, his words would have caused it to melt. What he was offering wouldn’t last forever, but I was willing to take as much as he’d give me, while I could.
“I want that too,” I finally said, biting back the three words I yearned to say. The three words I couldn’t tell him because it would change everything. And right now what we had between us was too fragile for me to open up that way.
Chapter 26
Nolan