‘Y-yes, sir.’ He looks afraid. He should. Be very afraid, Lonny.
‘See?’ I sweep my arm out in a gesture for him to lead on, blinding him with the smile I usually only reserve for my babies. It falls the moment Ava shoves John-Boy in my arms. Oh, she’s cunning. I can’t very well trample when I’m holding the baby. John-Boy doesn’t help my cause of trying to appear threatening when he grabs my stubbly cheeks and squeezes them. Lonny laughs. I do not.
‘Let’s walk,’ I tell him, nodding down the path to the swing bench, the most secluded place in the garden.
Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans, he walks on and I follow, eyeballing him the entire way. ‘You have a lovely home, Jesse.’ He smiles at me, and I raise my brows. ‘Mr Ward,’ he corrects himself, very wisely. The little suck-up. So, it’s compliments all the way, is it? My eyes narrow on him as we stroll, and he quickly darts his gaze to his feet, taking one hand to his hair and running it through nervously. I won’t ever admit it out loud, but he’s a good-looking little fucker. I can see why my girl is crushing on him.
‘Tell me about your grades.’ He might carry the looks and, apparently, the charm, but it’s all a waste if the kid’s an underachiever. My girl is bright. She needs someone to equal that.
‘My grades?’ he asks, a little hesitantly, and I nod. Though my prompt doesn’t push him to go on, his cheeks filling with a bit of colour. It’s as I thought. He’s a reject. ‘I’m top of some of my classes, Mr Ward.’
Oh. Do I have a compulsive liar on my hands? ‘What classes?’
He smiles, awkward. ‘All of them.’
Oh.
‘My favourite is maths, though. And science. I’d like to be a doctor someday.’ He sighs. ‘But the university fees are steep.’ He blows out his cheeks, and I conclude on the spot that his parents must be a little hard up. ‘Who knows, I might win the scholarship I’m hoping for. It’d be really cool if I won that place at Oxford.’
Oxford? The boy dreams big, and as I watch him, scuffing his feet as he ambles on beside me, I can’t help but think of my brother. He was ambitious, too, full of dreams and determination to make them happen. I flinch a little with the unexpected thought. ‘Here, sit,’ I tell him, pointing to the cushion on the bench as I settle and sit John-Boy on my lap. I don’t need to rock the swing. Lonny’s long legs take care of that for me.
‘How’d you meet Maddie?’ I ask, probably too shortly.
‘Me and Jacob are mates.’
Oh, I see. Worming his way into the affections of his mate’s sister. The conniving shit. ‘Your mum’s told you it’s illegal to kiss until you’re thirty, right?’
He glances up at me, alarmed. ‘It is?’
‘Oh, yeah, it is.’ The poor kid looks terrified. Good. I put John-Boy on his feet on my knees when he starts getting restless and yelling at Lonny. ‘And your dad’s told you about the birds and the bees, right?’ I’m completely unprepared for the wash of sadness that passes over his face, his eyes dropping to his swinging feet. Shit, what did I say?
‘I don’t have a dad, sir.’
‘Of course you do.’ I laugh. ‘Everyone has a dad.’
‘Mine walked out on my mum when I was eighteen months old. Haven’t seen him since.’ He shrugs, like it’s no biggie, and I die on the inside. Really die. I’m a twat. ‘I looked him up last year, but he wasn’t interested. So it’s just me and Mum.’
I want to punch myself in my stupid face, and I’m pretty sure Ava would if she knew I’d just put my big foot in it. I cast my eyes to John-Boy, who’s dancing on my lap, talking a load of gibberish as he claps his hands and yells at Lonny. Eighteen months. John-Boy’s age. Unexpected anger rises from my toes and burns my insides. He walked out on his boy? So who’s guided him his whole life? Who took him to football training and to his first match? ‘You don’t need a man like that in your life,’ I tell him, overwhelmed by the respect I have for this kid now. ‘You’re doing fine without him, anyway.’ The kid has Oxford in his dreams, and something deep, and oddly proud, tells me he’ll make it there, too.
‘Dream big, fight hard.’ Lonny says it quietly, his gaze staring off into the distance, as I stare at him, astounded by his attitude. ‘Make things happen.’ He looks at me and smiles. ‘You have to go for what you want and take it.’
‘I couldn’t agree more,’ I murmur, wondering if his philosophy applies to my daughter, too. I wonder where my fight is, my desire to scare this kid off. It’s gone.
‘He’s so cute.’ Lonny takes John-Boy’s hand and lets him yank and pull at it while both of them laugh.
‘Of course he is. He’s mine.’ I flip Lonny a wink when he glances at me. I’m done interrogating the boy. ‘You go and find Maddie.’
‘Actually, I wouldn’t mind having a game of tennis with Jacob.’ He frowns, looking back towards the house, where, no doubt, Maddie is in her mum’s earhole nagging about my trampling ways. She needn’t worry. This kid has trampled me, it seems. Looking back at me, Lonny’s lips straighten. ‘But I don’t think Maddie will be very pleased.’
I laugh and stand, setting John-Boy on his feet so he can walk back, jerking my head for Lonny to follow. ‘Let me give you some advice about the women in my life, most importantly Maddie.’ His face is pleading for that advice as we wander back up the path slowly, John-Boy stomping along beside me, my shoulder dropped a little so my hand reaches his without stretching his little muscles. ‘My daughter is stubborn.’
Lonny blows out his cheeks, nodding. ‘Tell me about it.’
‘Don’t back down. She’s just like her mother. Defiant and difficult for the sake of it. She’ll have you running in circles if you let her.’ Something tells me Lonny is already dizzy. ‘Be firm. Stand your ground.’ I give him a light slap on his shoulder, nodding my affirmation.
‘Yes, sir!’ He beams brightly as he heads off to the tennis courts to find his mate. ‘Thanks, Mr Ward.’
I smile and dip to tie the laces on John-Boy’s little Converses. ‘Lonny,’ I call, and he stops, looking back.
‘Yes, Mr Ward?’
‘You can call me Jesse.’
Another beam, but this time no words. He jogs off and disappears around the corner, and John-Boy and I continue back to the house. The moment Maddie sees us, she flies over, her dark eyes frantically searching for Lonny. ‘Where is he? Oh my God, did you kill him and bury him under the shed? Mum!’
‘Calm your knickers, little lady.’ I continue past, her wide eyes following. ‘He’s on the tennis court with your brother.’
‘He is?’
I see it in her already. Indignation. She looks just like her mother as she huffs and goes marching off. I laugh, mentally cheering Lonny on in my head. She’s going to get a nasty surprise. ‘Hey, Maddie.’
She swings around, her eyes flaming. ‘What?’
‘He’s a good kid. Don’t be a little cow, or he might dump your stroppy arse.’
Her jaw drops open, her face outraged, and I smile, getting on my way with John-Boy.
‘Who are you and what have you done with my dad?’ she calls at my back.
I don’t answer, smiling at Ava when she approaches with curiosity rife on her face. I shake my head and swing my arm around her neck. ‘I can’t wait until tomorrow,’ I tell her, pulling her in and kissing her temple.
‘Me neither.’ Her hands disappear under my T-shirt and glide over my skin, coming to rest over my heart. It’s going crazy, thumping happily.
Now it beats for four people.
*
The next day . . .