‘I can’t believe we’re not invited.’ Kate throws me a feigned hurt expression that I find easy to brush off. She understands.
‘It’s just me, Jesse and the kids.’ I can’t be made to feel guilty. It’s our first holiday for over two years. ‘And I can’t wait to have them all to myself.’ I glance over to Jesse as he glances over to me. Fucking hell, he’s so damn beautiful, even when he’s grumpy. My husband. The man who’s given me three beautiful kids. I look at them each day and thank all things holy that I found the enigma that was Jesse Ward. I thank my lucky stars that I walked into that posh sex club of his and had the wind knocked out of me by just the sound of his voice. Of course, then I saw him. And he saw me. At that very moment, when I was standing before him struggling to find breath, and he was looking at me with that heavy frown of his, it was game over. For both of us. Simple as that.
The road was rocky, the secrets dark, his ways challenging. And what’s most cruel is that I had to discover all of his secrets not only once, but twice. But every drop of pain and suffering each time was worth it. He’s not an enigma to me any more. Hasn’t been for a long time. He’s my husband, the most devoted, adoring, gorgeous example of a man any woman could hope to have. Except any other woman can carry on hoping, because this one, this man, he’s mine. I smile the smile only he can draw from me. It’s one filled with love of the perfect kind. Because he’s mine.
I’ll always be with this man.
*
Jesse
‘I love you,’ I mouth as she gazes across the kitchen at me, looking at me in the exact same way she looked at me the first time she set eyes on me. With lust. With awe. She’s looked at me in that way every single day of our lives together. Well, almost every single day. The accident, her temporarily lost memories, was just a blip on the horizon of my happiness. Yet at the time, it felt like the end of my world. I should have known that our love would prevail in the end. And now I really do know that we’re unbreakable.
Smiling that smile that sets my insides alight, she kisses the air towards me before returning her attention back to the girls.
‘So, the boobs?’ Sam asks, tapping the top of my bottle with his, winning my attention.
‘Sam.’ Drew punches his bicep. ‘Why’d you have to do it, ah?’
‘Just asking.’ He grins around the lip of his bottle, his always smiling eyes not letting him down.
‘Just asking for me to nut you?’ I quip, yet somewhere close to serious, and he knows it. ‘There are no boobs beyond what’s already there.’ She can get that stupid idea right out of her head. ‘And what’s there is perfect.’ I clink their bottles. ‘To that motherfucker John.’
‘That motherfucker John.’ They laugh, pulling one from me as I head for the garden, stopping at the back door and looking across the grass. ‘It’s like a fucking crèche,’ I mutter, sounding exasperated at the sight of all the kids, though I’m really not. Elsie has them all lying on their backs, legs in the air.
‘I’m off to smack a few balls over the net with Jacob.’ Drew swipes my boy’s racket from his hand and jogs off to the court with Jacob running after him, shouting for his magic racket back.
‘Suppose I better go and show them how it’s done.’ Sam rolls his eyes like it’s an inconvenience. ‘Coming?’
‘No, I’m waiting for some more guests.’ Just as I say it, the doorbell rings, and I dart back into the house before Ava can beat me to it. I meet her in the hall. She’s ahead of me, but a quick, sneaky grab of her wrist and a yank back puts me in front. She knew I’d be lurking, waiting to pounce.
‘Jesse, don’t you upset Maddie,’ Ava warns, knowing my game.
I slap on my killer smile and flash it at my wife before swinging the door open. But it drops when I find a young girl. Oh. I haven’t a speech planned for Jacob’s friend. Not one that won’t make her cry, anyway.
‘Hello, Mr Ward.’ Clarita dazzles me with a smile full of personality.
‘Hi.’ I open the door wider and let her in. I’m handing this one over to my wife. Smiling at Ava, I nod to Clarita’s back as she approaches. Let’s see how she welcomes this new woman into her darling boy’s life. ‘Over to you,’ I quip.
Her scowl is barely contained. ‘Hi, Clarita. Jacob is on the tennis court. Do you want something to drink before you head out?’
‘I’m fine, thank you. It was very nice of you to invite me.’
Is it me, or is Ava swooning? Yes, she’s definitely swooning. What happened to the lioness? ‘You’re more than welcome, sweetheart. Help yourself today, okay? Drinks, food, you name it.’
‘Why don’t you just ask her if she wants to stay the night, too?’ I grumble under my breath as I shut the door, plodding back to the garden. ‘Dada!’ John-Boy spots me and breaks away from the group, clearly fed up with yoga.
‘Hey!’ I scoop him into my arms and let him pull at my cheeks.
‘Maddie!’ Ava calls from behind. ‘Your guest is here!’
I swing around so fast, John-Boy starts giggling uncontrollably, obviously thinking Daddy’s playing. I’m not. Damn it, why did I leave the front door? Ava’s knowing look tells me she knows I’m mentally kicking myself. I needed a few moments alone with this little twerp my daughter’s apparently crushing on. And as I think that, the little twerp comes into view, standing next to Ava. My eyes pop out of my head. Fuck me, how old is he? Panicked, I look to Ava, searching for some back-up. I get nothing but a shake of her head. What the fuck? He must be knocking on six foot.
As Maddie passes me, she throws me a look to suggest I should keep my mouth the hell shut. She can think again. I watch as she reaches up and kisses his cheek. Good Lord, someone hold me back. ‘She’s nearly fourteen, Jesse,’ Ava says to me quietly when she’s made it over. ‘Don’t be all over the top about it.’
‘She’s thirteen. Why does everyone insist on saying nearly fourteen? That doesn’t make her fourteen, and even if it does, she’s still illegal.’
‘Illegal to date?’ Ava laughs.
‘To do everything,’ I confirm.
‘She’s growing up, Jesse. Get over it. She and I have had the talk. She’s a sensible girl.’
My body starts twitching uncontrollably as I stare at my wife in horror. ‘The talk?’ Please, God, tell me Ava’s not going to say what I think she’s going to say.
‘Of course. We had that conversation at least a year ago.’
John-Boy’s vibrating in my arms now, so much so, Ava must think I’m going to drop him because she takes him from me.
‘You need to calm down,’ she warns.
Fuck that! ‘If you and Maddie have had the talk, it’s only right me and . . . what’s his name?’
‘Lonny.’
‘Lonny?’ I question. ‘What the fucking hell kind of name is that? His parents must be morons, too.’ I sink the rest of my beer, eyeing up the little fucker. ‘How old is he?’
‘Fourteen.’
‘Give me a break.’ I laugh. ‘He must be lying. He’s at least twenty.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ Ava smacks my arm. ‘Stop being dramatic.’
I see Ava in the corner of my eye wandering off across the grass. Dramatic? I don’t think I am. Me and Lonny need to have a chat.
My shoulders back, I wander over to Maddie and Lonny, seeing with perfect clarity the warning in my baby girl’s eyes. And also the worry, because she knows I’m not interested in heeding her warning. ‘Hi.’ My voice is low and rough, just as I intended. Manly.
Lonny smiles at me. ‘Mr Ward, nice to meet you.’
I recoil. I can’t help it. Has he got a vice on his balls? His squeaky voice doesn’t match his height. Maybe the shit really is fourteen. I look down at his offered hand, my eyebrows rising. Let’s see if his handshake is any manlier. I clasp it hard, immediately disappointed when he flinches in pain. I smile on the inside. ‘Let’s take a walk, Lonny.’
‘No, Dad.’ Maddie dives in front of me, like her little girlie figure might stop me. A fucking bulldozer wouldn’t stop me.
‘I just want to chat with him,’ I appease her, knowing I’m wasting my time. ‘You want to chat, don’t you, Lonny?’