‘A big push, Ava. Did you hear that?’
‘I’m not fucking deaf!’ she snaps between quick, sharp inhales and exhales, throwing me daggers. I shrink, but the kids chuckle, Jacob having a quick shake out of his poor hand. ‘I’m sorry, darling,’ Ava says, clumsily reaching for his head and patting around in his hair. ‘Did I hurt you?’
‘Not at all.’ He raises his arms and flexes his non-existent biceps. ‘I’m built of steel.’
Maddie cackles. ‘In whose world?’
‘Concentrate,’ Jacob orders, giving Ava back his hand.
‘Oh, no.’ Ava’s panicked eyes land on me with a bang. ‘Here’s another one.’
I pull myself together and move in closer. ‘This time a big push, okay? The biggest you can manage.’
‘I’m trying.’ She’s getting tearful, her eyes welling.
‘Come on,’ I coo, placing my hand back where it should be. ‘You pushed two babies out one after the other. This is a walk in the park.’
‘Screw you, Ward. This one must be as big as Jacob and Maddie put together. I’m going to be ripped in two. Oh, oh, oh!’ Her teeth grit, her fists ball, her head shoots forward. ‘Arghhhhhhhh!’
‘That’s it!’ I encourage her, watching as the head crowns and gradually stretches her opening. ‘Come on, baby! He’s nearly here.’ The agonising sound of her screams goes straight through me. ‘A bit more! Yes, yes! That’s it, Ava!’
The head passes the widest point and slips free of her walls, a perfect little profile on perfect display. My voice catches in my throat, my hand stroking over the top of his wet head. Fuck, even covered in slime he’s gorgeous.
‘The head’s out,’ I say to the operative, grabbing another towel.
‘That’s great.’ She’s so calm. ‘One more push on the next contraction, Mr Ward. When the baby is out, lay it straight on Ava’s chest and wrap it in a towel. Make sure the cord isn’t caught up.’
‘Okay.’ I prepare myself, glancing up at Ava. She’s crying now, feeling Maddie’s hair as she dabs the flannel across her forehead. ‘Ava,’ I call, making her head drop limply. ‘One more push, baby.’
She nods on a big swallow, closing her eyes.
‘Just one more, Mum.’ Maddie pushes some loose strands of hair off Ava’s face as Jacob has another shake of his hand in preparation, throwing me a Jesus! look as he does. When Ava starts with the semi-controlled breaths again, I know the final push is coming. Levelling her eyes on me, she grits her teeth and nods, her face starting to go beet red. There’s no sound from her this time. Just round eyes glued to me as she goes into the final stretch.
He comes out so fast, I nearly miss it, my gaze set on my beautiful wife being helped by my beautiful children. ‘Oh, fuck.’ His wet, slippery body falls into my big hands, and his screams start immediately after that. The sound is fucking golden. He’s fucking perfect. I’m a fucking wreck, my eyes full of tears. I carefully shift him into one hand, being careful of the cord, and push Ava’s T-shirt up, laying him on her chest and covering them with a towel.
I expect the twins to grimace and look away, but they are utterly mesmerised by the sight, their little jaws hanging open. ‘He’s here,’ I croak, mindful that the operative is waiting for an update. ‘He’s here and he’s perfect.’
‘Congratulations, Mr Ward.’
‘Thank you.’ Emotion ambushes me as I watch Ava hold our baby to her chest, her lips resting on his head, her eyes closed.
‘I hardly did a thing.’ The operative chuckles. ‘You were a perfect student. I’ve had confirmation that the paramedics and midwife are just a few minutes away. I’m going to stay on the line until they arrive.’
I nod, sniffle, and wipe my nose with the back of my hand as I crawl up the side of Ava to join them. Her face is red and blotchy, her hair a wet mess. But she’s stunning. I smile and reach for my baby’s little hand, amazed by his tiny fingers. ‘He’s perfect,’ I whisper, instant love booming within me.
‘You keep saying he.’ Ava looks down at the back of his head. ‘Is it confirmed?’
I frown. No, it’s not. I was so enthralled, I didn’t look for his bits, or lack thereof. ‘Wait.’ I reach for the towel covering them, pulling it up before lifting a little leg a tad so I can see.
‘What is it, Dad?’ Jacob hurries around to my side, as well as Maddie. ‘A boy or a girl?’
I smile, looking at each of their impatient faces before cocking my head for them to look themselves. Both their heads dive down to inspect the area.
‘Well?’ Ava asks, impatient. ‘Tell me.’
Maddie coughs. ‘It’s definitely a he.’ Looking up to Ava, she smirks. ‘And he’s got a bigger penis than Jacob has now!’
I let out a bark of laughter, roughing my boy’s hair when he throws an indignant look Maddie’s way. ‘Get lost, Maddie.’
I crawl up and lie down beside Ava, my body stretched the length of hers and then some. I kiss my baby boy’s sweet little head, inhaling as I do. Lord, I’ve missed that smell so much. ‘You did so well.’ I turn my lips to my wife and kiss her sweaty forehead, taking the opportunity to breathe her in, too. ‘So, so well.’
Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes and nuzzles into me. ‘You’re my superstar.’
‘That’s one I’ve never been called before,’ I quip lightly. ‘What happened to god?’
A tired chuckle melts into my ears as I snuggle in close, the side of one finger stroking down his little cheek. ‘He’s a good-looking little fucker,’ I whisper. ‘Clearly he takes after his dad.’
‘Your ego knows no bounds.’
‘Hey, what are we calling him?’ Maddie is already besotted, her attention on the baby and the baby alone.
I stall voicing my preference, like I have for some time. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, or what Ava would think. ‘I don’t know.’ I shrug mildly. ‘What do you guys think? What does he look like?’
Both of them crowd him, their heads cocked in contemplation. ‘He doesn’t look like anything.’ Jacob reaches forward and touches the end of his nose. ‘He’s so tiny.’
‘I think he looks like a Joseph,’ Maddie declares. ‘He’s got the same amount of hair as Pap.’
I grin when Ava snorts. ‘What do you think, Mummy?’
Ava breathes in, her chin lowering to her chest to look at his peaceful form. She thinks for a while, and then she looks to the twins. ‘Maddie, Jacob, meet your new brother.’ Glancing back at me, my wife smiles faintly. ‘Baby John-Boy.’
Oh, fucking hell. My heart bursts. ‘Really?’ I ask, pushing down the lump working its way into my throat.
She shrugs, as if it’s nothing, when it is absolutely everything. ‘He looks like a John to me.’ Peeking back down at him, she nods to herself decisively. ‘Yes, he’s definitely a John. And if we’re lucky, he’ll be as loyal, brave and loving as the original.’
Fuck, I’m a goner. I bury my face into her neck and let my stinging eyes release the tears. My emotions are shot, a huge concoction of overwhelming happiness and unrelenting sadness.
I’ll make sure baby John-Boy is all of those things. If it’s the last thing I do, he’ll be everything his uncle John was. I feel Ava’s hand in my hair, comforting me. I’ve held it together for long enough. It’s all coming out now.
But then baby John-Boy decides it’s his turn to have a wail, putting the stoppers on my intended release time. I peek up, my face wet, and find his fist rammed in his mouth. ‘Someone’s hungry.’ I look across to the kids and cock my head. ‘Mum’s about to get her boobs out.’
‘I’ll go see if the ambulance is here!’ Jacob bombs from the lounge like a spitfire, leaving smoke in his wake. I laugh. He’s just witnessed his mum giving birth, not that he saw the graphic stuff, but still. It was an experience. And he’s scared of a bit of boob?
‘Can I stay?’ Maddie asks, a little tentatively. She’s so curious, completely bewitched by her new brother.
‘Sure you can, darling.’ Ava reaches for her hand. ‘But first would you mind getting me some water?’
‘Ice?’