He stands John-Boy on his knees and smiles fondly at the little bugger. ‘But his needs are greater than mine, aren’t they, buddy?’
I’m stunned. Never in a million years did I ever expect those words to fall from my husband’s mouth. ‘You’ve changed,’ I mutter, feeling absolutely slighted as he distracts John-Boy by blowing raspberries on his belly. The shriek of laughter is ear-piercing and heart-swelling all at once, John-Boy’s hands yanking at Jesse’s dirty blond waves. ‘If you’re feeling that blasé about my boobs, you won’t mind if I get them inflated to their former glory.’ I realise I’ve just poked the bear with a huge fucking stick. But still . . . what the hell, with all this casual approach to my assets? Or his assets, more to the point.
Jesse’s playful motions still, his face smothered by John-Boy’s round tummy. I smile to myself, waiting for the thorough dressing-down I’m about to get. Slowly, his face turns towards mine, his green eyes narrow, the cogs of his mind smoking they’re spinning so fast. ‘Take that back right now.’
I pout, all innocent, and shake my head. I’m in the mood for a Retribution Fuck. ‘I’m getting a boob job.’
‘Over my dead body, lady.’
I sigh, rising to my feet. ‘Get a grip, Ward. I’ve had three kids ravish these boobs, on top of you. They’re knackered.’ I turn and wander into the house, Jesse hot on my heels with John-Boy thrown under his arm, laughing. Daddy isn’t laughing, though.
‘Ava!’
‘Mama!’
I get to the fridge and pull out some milk for John-Boy, turning with a coy smile on my face as I shake it up. ‘So whose boobies are they?’
‘Mine,’ Jesse growls, nostrils flaring and all. ‘I only loaned them.’
‘Mine!’ John-Boy sings, making grabby hands for his milk. My grin stretches my face as I hand John-Boy his milk, Jesse’s displeased eyes following me all the way. He shoves it straight in his mouth and pipes down.
‘I believe they are actually mine,’ I declare haughtily, sashaying out of the kitchen, knowing exactly what I’m damn well doing. These boys, I think, heading to answer a knock at the front door.
The whole gang marches into the house. Drew and Raya head straight for the lounge to lay a sleeping Imogen on the couch, while Georgia dances off upstairs to find Maddie. Sam and Kate have a verbal spar on the way to the kitchen over whose turn it is to change Betty’s nappy, and Mum and Dad, followed closely behind by Jesse’s parents, head straight for the kitchen to take the reins.
I follow the troop, meeting Jacob at the entrance to the kitchen. ‘Look at the state of you.’ I sigh, pointing to the grass stains on his knees as he spins his tennis racket in his grasp.
‘Are Uncle Sam and Drew here?’ He shrugs off my fussing hands and pulls a tennis ball from the pocket of his shorts. ‘We’re playing doubles, and me and Dad are gonna win.’
I laugh. ‘Of course you are, darling. Dad always wins.’ I take his shoulders and push him into the kitchen. ‘Come and say hi to everyone before you disappear back into the garden.’
‘Hey, Mum?’ He stops us from progressing to the kitchen, looking up at me. He gives me his sweet little crinkled forehead that’s a replica of his Dad’s. It’s frightening how much our boys look like Jesse. They’re like little doppelg?ngers. It’s both highly satisfying that they’ve inherited their father’s obscenely handsome looks, and very worrying, too. How many girls will I be fending off over the coming years?
Which reminds me, Jacob has a guest this evening – a girl he’s fond of. Jesse and I agreed to let them each have a friend over for this afternoon’s barbecue in John’s memory. Neither of us expected them to invite friends of the opposite sex. ‘What’s up, sweetheart?’ I know what’s up.
‘When Clarita arrives, don’t embarrass me, will you?’
I feign a shocked face, resting my palm on my chest. ‘Me?’
‘Yes, you. And please keep Dad under control.’
I laugh. ‘You don’t have to worry about your father. His attention will be on Maddie and her guest.’
‘Still, be cool, yeah?’
‘Yes, I’ll be cool,’ I assure him. ‘But just remember.’
‘What?’
I smile down at my boy and kiss his hair. ‘You only need one woman in your life. And who’s that?’
‘My mother.’ He sighs on an expert roll of his eyes, one I know he’s learned from me.
‘Good boy.’ I leave him to say his hellos to the gang, going back to the front door when it knocks.
I open and find Elsie with a huge bunch of flowers held in front of her. Her head pops up over the spray, her pink hair blending with the colourful arrangement. ‘John always bought me big, bright bouquets. He said the more vibrant, the more they reminded him of me.’
I smile, a little sadness washing over me. ‘They’re beautiful.’ I accept them and give her a big hug. ‘You look gorgeous. Thank you for coming.’
‘Don’t get all sappy on me or I’ll cry, and John would not be happy about that.’ She gently but firmly swats me away, lifting her chin high. ‘Where are those gorgeous children?’
I laugh, leading her to the kitchen. ‘Elsie’s here,’ I declare, smiling when everyone rushes to welcome her. I make my way to the fridge, pulling out a jug of Pimm’s.
‘What’s up with moody balls?’ Kate asks, collecting the glasses for me.
Sure enough, Jesse’s forehead is a map of angry lines, his scowl pointed at me. I smile sweetly at him as I pour drinks for me and Kate. ‘I may have dropped the boob bomb.’
‘Oh, that would explain it.’ She chuckles and takes a glug of her drink as Raya joins us with Elsie.
‘Explain what?’ Raya asks, taking an empty and holding it out for me to fill.
‘My man is grumpy about the boob situation.’
Raya whines a little under her breath. ‘Oh God, my breasts look like they’ve been ravaged, and not in the best way.’ She looks down at them, her lip curling in disapproval.
‘Oh, you young girls!’ Elsie chuckles. ‘Grow old gracefully.’
I snort. ‘It’s all right for you with your tight little body.’ I’m still doing yoga with Elsie, though not as often, and I can guarantee I won’t have her figure in my mid-sixties.
‘What’s going on?’ Jesse asks, looking as suspicious as I know he is as he approaches, a quiet John-Boy still gobbling down his milk in his arms.
‘Nothing,’ I sing, taking the jug of Pimm’s and topping up the girls.
‘Hey.’ Kate pulls Sam over. ‘If Ava’s getting her boobs fixed, so am I.’
‘Ava isn’t getting her boobs fixed because they aren’t broken,’ Jesse declares, throwing Kate a deadly glare.
‘The surgeon’s an expert, Jesse,’ I argue, aware that I’m wasting my time. ‘I’ll be in perfectly safe hands.’
‘I’m the only expert on my wife’s boobs around here, and the only safe hands they’ll be in are mine. End of.’
Drew smiles as he pops the cap off his beer. ‘I think John-Boy is more the expert these days, right?’ He chuckles around the top of his bottle as I silently will him to stop with the teasing. It just makes the gorilla worse.
At that moment, John-Boy takes his empty bottle and smacks it over Jesse’s head, as if in agreement. Everyone flinches, but not Jesse. He’s too busy still giving me the death stare.
Elsie, chuckling, takes John-Boy from Jesse’s arms. ‘Come on, children,’ she sings when Maddie and Georgia come dancing into the kitchen. ‘Maddie, you get Betty, and, Georgia, you get Imogen. Let’s go and play.’ Elsie directs all the kids into the garden, and I smile after her. She’ll have them all doing baby yoga in no time.
‘So when do you fly out?’ Raya asks as the men break away and go to congregate around the island.
‘Tomorrow.’ I’m reminded that I still have a ton of things to do before we head for the airport. I haven’t even finished packing.