“What?”
“What are the specific things you need? School, right? What else?”
“Independence. My own apartment. My freedom…”
“Okay, you can have all of that in Scotland. We can enroll you in a medical program there, we can get you a flat, and you can do whatever you want. How about that?”
It was the only reasonable compromise I could think of. But it still wasn’t what I had planned. “That would mean I’d be living there forever…because then I can only practice medicine in the UK. I can’t just transfer that back to America. I’d have to retake a few classes.”
Crewe stared at me with an unreadable expression. “We’re both making sacrifices here.”
“What sacrifices are you making?” I demanded.
“Everything. You think I want you to live alone? You think I want you to be at school all day? If I had it my way, we would go back to exactly how we were. So yes, I am making sacrifices.”
“But this isn’t going to last forever. I’m moving all the way there and going to school, and then when you get married, I’m going to have to move back and redo a year or two of medical school.”
“Who said anything about marriage?” he asked.
“You told me you have to marry someone of your stature. I’m obviously not the right match.”
He rubbed his fingers across his chin and sighed. “That’s the last thing on my mind right now. Let’s not worry about what’s gonna happen down the road. Let’s just focus on now.”
“That’s kinda difficult for me to do…”
He rested his hands on his thighs and brought his hands together. He bowed his head and stared at his hands, the corded veins extending up his forearms and across the back of his palms. “All I know is…I’ve hated being without you. And if I feel that way now, I’m sure it’ll be worse as time goes on. I really can’t picture myself with anyone else right now. So I say we don’t worry about it.”
It was nothing concrete, but it was sweet nonetheless. “Okay.”
“Okay? Does that mean you’ll move to Scotland?” He didn’t keep the hope out of his voice.
I couldn’t believe I was going to make the sacrifice, but there were no other options. I could stay here, but the city didn’t feel the same anyway. I wanted to have my life the way it was before Crewe took me, but that wasn’t possible. So much had changed. I wasn’t the same person I used to be. “Yeah…it does.”
He grabbed my hand and gave me a squeeze. “It’s gonna be an uphill battle for us, so at least we figured that part out.”
“Uphill battle?”
“Ariel will never approve of this.”
I respected her as his business partner, but I didn’t understand why she had so much power over him. “This is your personal life, not hers. I don’t understand why her opinion matters to you.”
“It matters because she warned me about you—and she was dead on about it.”
I looked away.
“It matters because you distracted me from what’s important. It matters because some of my men died because of you. It matters because everything changed the second you walked into my life. They don’t trust you, so they don’t trust me. That’s why it fucking matters.” He pulled his hand away.
I didn’t know what to say. I’d already apologized for everything that happened, and I didn’t see the point in doing it again. Now we needed to concentrate on moving forward. “Then how is this gonna work?”
He didn’t respond for nearly a minute. “It’ll just take some time. She’ll get over it—eventually.”
“And Joseph?”
“What about him?”
“I can’t have my brother and the man I love hating each other.”
He stared at his hands, his shoulders straight but heavy. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about that. It is what it is. He’s not gonna change, and I’m certainly not going to change.”
Maybe a reconciliation would come in time. Joseph stole money from Crewe and then shot him. It would take Crewe a long time to let that go.
He leaned back against the couch and looked at me, his brown eyes no longer annoyed. He stared at me the way he did on the sidewalk, like he’d rather be doing something other than talking.
I knew what was coming next, but I didn’t know how to circumvent it. We couldn’t sleep in my bed, not when it was covered in Roy’s cologne. “Where are you staying?”
His eyes immediately narrowed. “With you.”
“I mean, what hotel?”
“It’s down the road. Why?”
“How about we go there?”
“Why would we go there if we’re here?” He patted the cushion of the sofa. “This place is comfortable enough for what I have in mind.”
I missed sex with Crewe, along with all the other perks of our relationship. I would love to get lost in him again, to feel that heavenly stretching his body caused. But the sex wouldn’t feel so good if he figured out a man had been here less than twenty-four hours ago.
Like the universe was out to get me, there was a knock on the door.
At this time of night, it could only be one person.
Crewe’s eyes darted to the door, and that typical look of threat grew in his features. His eyes turned dark and empty, hiding all of his thoughts like he’d just erected a wall. His arms flexed in reaction, and his shoulders rounded in preparation for the problem that just emerged. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Uh…yeah.” I had nothing to feel bad about, but this was still the most awkward situation in the world. I knew Crewe had been with other women, but at least I didn’t have the displeasure of looking at them.
His eyes narrowed in a sinister way, understanding the implication of words immediately. “Would you like me to answer the door?” His jaw was clenched harder than I’d ever seen it. It was a miracle he could make out words at all.
“No.” I jumped out of the chair and headed to the door, wishing the couch wasn’t so close to the entryway. The couch faced the opposite way, but all Crewe had to was turn around if he wanted to get a look at Roy.
This was bad.
I hustled through the doorway and shut the door behind me.
Roy was in gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair still damp from a shower. He’d just gotten off work and probably stopped by on the way. “Hey. You’re still up?”
“Yeah, I got off work late.”
“Cool.” He smiled, one dimple forming on his cheek.
“But…I’m gonna have to take a rain check with you. A permanent one. I told you I just got out of a relationship…but now I’m back in the relationship.”
“Oh, really?” he asked. “The guy finally got his head on straight. Good for him. You’re a serious catch.”
I’d just blown him off, but he had a great attitude about it. “I’m sorry about this…”
“Don’t be. I knew it was too good to be true.” He released a hollow chuckle. “Well, good luck.” He extended his hand.
I shook it. “Thanks. You too.”
He walked away and disappeared from the hallway.