I had a long shift in the ER that night. Lots of traumas, lots of ambulances. Every time I went to work, I thought about the night Crewe was shot. His blood had soaked my clothes, and I still hadn’t gotten rid of them.
I had no idea why I kept them.
I stayed an hour over because there were so many patients to see. I didn’t care about the overtime pay, just helping out the physicians on staff. When I finally grabbed my coat and walked out of the automatic doors, I was exhausted. Roy was supposed to come over when he finished his shift, and I knew that was at any minute.
I walked up the sidewalk and headed back to my apartment, noticing the piles of snow on the ground. The snow came early this year, making the air cold and dry. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked.
I knew there was someone behind me because I could feel his footsteps. He gradually came closer to me, and when we passed a lone streetlight, I saw his tall shadow stretch across the concrete.
No one was around, and it was a bad side of town. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but after being drugged and taken across the world, any unusual behavior was alarming to me. This guy may have seen me in the hospital and thought I was cute. He bided his time until I got off work to make his move.
I discreetly dug into my pocket and pulled out my keys. I inserted the biggest one between my knuckles, prepared to stab him in the eye if he made a move. I held my phone in my other hand, gripping it tightly by the base, ready to be used as a weapon.
He sped up and came closer to me, close enough to touch me.
I spun around with both of my weapons up and ready. “Get the fuck away from me.” I stepped back when I recognized his face, my hands slowly lowering.
Crewe.
In a thick winter coat and dark jeans, he wore dark colors to make him blend in with the night. His face was cleanly shaven, and his eyes held his surprise at my violent reaction. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Then why did you follow me like a stalker?”
He stepped back and put his hands in his pockets. “I appreciate the way you protected yourself.”
“Thanks…I guess.” I put my phone and keys back in my pocket, but my heart was still beating so fast from the adrenaline. The fact that my stalker was Crewe terrified me in a completely different way. I didn’t have time to think about what any of this meant. He was standing right in front of me, looking at me with those brown eyes I used to find solace in. “Why are you here?” When I said goodbye to him in Scotland, I meant it. I moved on.
He stared at me in silence, his usual response to all my questions.
“What the hell do you want, Crewe? I spent the last month in Scotland waiting for you. If there was something you wanted to say to me, you had your chance to say it. But now you don’t.” I turned around and walked up the street again, wanting to get away from the man who played with my heart like a toy.
“London.” He followed behind me, his voice close against my ear.
“Good night, Crewe.”
He grabbed me by the elbow and yanked me against the brick wall of the insurance building we’d just passed. His body crowded mine until I was flat against the wall, my back feeling the coldness from the bricks.
His brown eyes looked menacing in the dark like this, in the middle of a questionable neighborhood long after midnight. His arms pinned mine against the wall, as if he suspected I might hit him. He pressed his face close to mine, his warm breath falling over my cold skin. “I’m here now, so you’re going to have to deal with it.”
I tried to shove him, but he was too heavy. “That’s not how this works. I stayed there for a month and tried to work this out. I don’t want to be a prisoner again, so I’m starting over here. I started seeing someone, and I like him. You missed your chance.”
That was the wrong thing to say because his expression turned maniacal. “Who?”
“What does it matter? How’s Sasha, by the way?” I didn’t have a clue if that was the woman he was bedding, but I didn’t know any of their other names.
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t answer. “Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here. I’m still fucking pissed, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t sleep. I can’t get over you. Everything is just so…bleak. I don’t know what to do.”
“You came all the way here to tell me that?” I asked incredulously. “You could have just called.”
“I didn’t call for the same reason you didn’t call. I wanted to see you. Every time you tried to talk to me, I pushed you away. You’ll never understand how much you killed me inside. When I had a bullet stuck in my chest and I was bleeding everywhere…it didn’t hurt nearly as much as what you did.”
My anger died away when I heard the sincerity of his words. I already knew I’d hurt him because I saw his expression that night, the way he looked utterly hopeless. He didn’t even have the motivation to save his own life. That was how much I killed his spirit.
“When I sold you to Bones, he brought this collar…”
My eyes concentrated on his face as I listened to every word.
“He wanted to hook it around your neck for the entire trip back to Italy. When I saw it…I couldn’t do it. I didn’t keep you because I had a better idea of how to use you. I kept you because I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t condemn you to a life of misery when you didn’t deserve it.” He lowered his face, breaking eye contact with me. “I never put that micro pulse inside your brother’s head, I just made you think I did. Because I could never hurt you like that. I would never hurt someone you love. And I don’t know when these feelings began to develop…but I knew they started long before you felt them for me.”
My hands relaxed against his arms, and instead of pushing him away, I began to pull him closer into me.
“When I was engaged to Josephine…”
He was engaged?
“I thought I loved her. I thought we could have a great life together. But being with you has shown me how much of a mistake that would have been. I was so angry when she left me for Sir Andrew, but after I had you… I thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I’ve never felt close to anyone like I do with you. It’s like…I don’t feel so alone.”
Josephine left him? I didn’t know any of this.