“Because we use enhanced interrogation methods that are illegal. And if anyone found out that our government had hired people to carry out the kinds of torture we demonstrate, then we’d possibly face another war…potentially within our own country.”
I stared at the floor but couldn’t focus on anything. As soon as something started to make sense, it stopped, and I ended up more confused the longer I tried to understand it all. “So…if it’s illegal, and the CIA and whoever else could get in a lot of trouble for it, why do it? If they aren’t from here, why can’t you just let them go? Send them back where they came from? I mean, if they have enough information on them to send you in, why can’t they use that as an excuse to kick them out of the country?”
“If we did that, how would we be able to find out what they’re planning?”
“Well, can’t you figure that out other ways and still send them back?”
“So they can capture one of our soldiers and behead him—or her—on camera? So they can plot something else and end up doing more harm? No. You may not agree with what I do…hell, not many people do, but what’s the alternative? Stand there and do nothing? Watch while innocent people die? It’s not just planes in buildings anymore. We’re looking at bombs at dinner parties and movie theaters full of kids. Or concerts and clubs.”
The archangel Michael.
The ink decorating his entire back.
It all made sense.
But I was torn. Cash killed people, except they were bad people. That couldn’t possibly make him a monster. However, no matter which way I looked at it, he was responsible for taking countless lives.
“I don’t know, Cash. I’m confused as to what this all means or how it affects me and Aria.”
“I’ll tell you how… What I do is messy, and it’s dark, and it eats away at me when I’m alone. But it keeps you safe. You can take Aria to the library or the park and not worry about some guy with a bomb strapped to his chest.”
“Are you kidding me?” My fight came alive. “That stuff happens all the time. You can’t stop them all. And not everyone who commits a crime is a terrorist. You can’t prevent it from happening. With or without you playing the role of the angel on your back, it will continue to go on.”
“So you’re saying we should stop arresting criminals because crime will never end?”
My stomach rolled and a knot formed in my chest. Once again, I was at odds with how to feel or react. He made sense, but I couldn’t let go of the resistance. This wasn’t black or white. There were pros and cons to both sides, yet my brain wouldn’t function enough to compare the lists. I had no idea which was the lesser of the two evils.
Numb to almost everything, I decided to be brave and ask the question I hadn’t been ready to hear the answer to until just now. “What happened after we left my mom’s house? He hasn’t been around, and you told me he’d never hurt me again. Did you…?”
“No. There was a report made to the police department about a man who sexually assaulted a city council member, and your stepdad’s name was given. He was picked up early Saturday morning for questioning and is currently behind bars.”
I thought I was about to throw up. “Is it true? Did he really do that?”
“Well, he denies it, but the DA has evidence that says otherwise.” Nothing about his expression told me anything useful. I already knew what a good liar he was, which made it impossible to discover the truth.
“And it just so happens that this all took place that night?”
He shrugged, as if it didn’t matter.
“Listen, I’m all for him going away. He deserves to be in there whether this incident was fabricated or not. What he did to me wasn’t. I just need to hear the truth.” My lips trembled and my voice began to shake. “I have to know if he really did that.”
“No, Jade. I can’t tell you if he’s ever hurt anyone else, but this time, no. A few calls were made, lab reports were run, and he’s where he belongs.”
As relieved as I was to hear that, a little voice in my head wouldn’t quiet down. “So you’re a trained killer, who targets and interrogates terrorists, and prevents them from killing innocent people.” I’d phrased it as a statement, but I waited for him to nod in agreement before continuing. “And these orders are sent from DC, which is then handed down through a long line of government departments, and then out to non-government factions, before it’s given to your boss.” Again, he nodded. “And then you get this proof that this person is evil, so you go after him and torture him until you get information.”
“Yes,” he agreed with another nod, his stare holding mine.
“And you don’t see anything wrong with that?”
His gaze narrowed while his lip hitched just slightly, showing his genuine confusion.
“Cash…despite whether he deserved it or not, a man is sitting in jail for a crime he didn’t technically commit—with actual evidence against him. I’m not saying I disagree with that, but the same people who had set that up are the ones who give you orders to chase after others for crimes you’re told they’ve committed, with evidence against them.”
“They’re terrorists, Jade.” He was thoroughly convinced of this.
“So you’re told. And they may or may not be. But how can you believe someone who you know is capable of using the system for their own gain? How do you not question that? Because I’ll tell you this: you kept this major part of your life from me. You’ve looked me straight in the eye and lied. It’s hard not to question every word out of your mouth, so I don’t understand how after seeing what these men are capable of, you don’t think twice about it. They tell you so-and-so has done this and that, and you go after him. And then torture him. No questions asked.”
He blinked a few times, his sight falling to the middle of the floor. I could tell my words had gotten to him, but to what extent, I wasn’t sure. He was a good man. That much was understood by his reaction, the way he trusted the men he worked with and for.
“I’m just giving you food for thought. What you do with it is up to you. This doesn’t even concern me; I just wondered if you’d ever questioned it before. You know?”
“What do you mean it doesn’t concern you?” He glanced around the room, panic filling his dark eyes. When he stood, his movements were quick and desperate, causing me to pull myself to my feet, as well. “You said you were only getting clothes because you were helping your mom.”
He frantically checked the drawers and closet. I wanted to go to him, to settle his nerves, but there was nothing I could say to calm him down aside from reassuring him that I’d be back. That I wasn’t moving out, only packing a few things to hold me over for a couple of weeks. And I couldn’t tell him that. Because I wasn’t sure how truthful that would be. It wasn’t until he noticed I hadn’t packed everything that his demeanor calmed and he faced me once more.
I moved closer to the bed and grabbed the small suitcase by the handle. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. It all depends on how long Mom will be at the hospital. I’ve been staying with Stevie in her spare room, and she’s offered it to me for as long as I need it.”