“Even if you lose her?”
Now, that I needed to think about. “I don’t want to, but at the end of the day, if she’s safe, I’d say it was worth it. He’s not just someone who lives in this town, who she may or may not see when she’s here—he’s part of her family. She would never be able to get away from him, not with him married to her mom. So if she leaves me after this, at least he won’t hurt her again…or ever touch Aria.” My throat closed, making it hard to say her name. The idea of her not being in my life was too much to bear, and I refused to think about it until I learned more of where Jade’s head was at.
“What do you plan on tellin’ her? I mean, you’re gonna talk to her…right?”
I nodded and swallowed the lump blocking most of my airway. “Does your wife know? Have you ever told her who you are and what you do?”
“I’ve told her what she needs to hear. I’ve never lied to her, and she understands enough not to ask questions. The less she asks, the easier our lives are, and she gets that. I tell ’er things I feel she needs to know. When I kiss her goodbye or tell her I love ’er before endin’ our nightly calls, she’s fully aware it could be the last.”
I had so much to think about. The only people in my life who were privy to the truth about me were in the same position I was—working for Rhett in one capacity or another. They had to accept me, because they were the same. But Jade wasn’t, and there was no reason for her to stick around if what I had to say was too much for her to handle.
“This fucking blows…” I stared at the popcorn ceiling, blowing a long breath past barely parted lips. “Maybe it’s for the best if she leaves me. She makes me stupid, man.”
“Don’t all women?” he asked with a short laugh.
“No…not like this. Hell, I’ve been married before, and aside from Colleen fucking that dude, there wasn’t a time I was ever off my game while I was with her. I picked up on every lie she ever told, and I’m pretty sure I subconsciously ignored the signs of her cheating to protect myself. I refused to believe my wife, the woman I’d promised to spend the rest of my life with, would be the unfaithful type, because that would mean I hadn’t profiled her correctly to begin with.”
“You can’t blame yourself for your wife steppin’ out on ya, son. This business is hard, and we’re gone all the time. We need the kinda woman who we can trust with our secrets, someone to go home to after a shitty fuckin’ week who’ll just be with us any way we need it. Judy is the only woman who’s ever seen me weak, but ya know what? Even when I’m breakin’ down, she still looks at me like I’m the strongest motherfucker alive. That’s the kind of woman guys like us need. But you can’t fault them for not being that person if ya don’t show them who you really are. Ya don’t need t’give specifics or blow the entire operation, but ya can’t expect her to try to heal you after a shitty week when she thinks you’ve done nothin’ but climb cell towers.”
Once again…he was right.
And if I didn’t admire him so much, it’d piss me off.
“So what’s the plan for Jade’s stepdad?”
He ran his palm over his mouth and paused. “He won’t be a problem.”
That was all I needed to hear.
We spoke for a little while longer—basically, him giving me advice and telling me the story of how he’d first met his wife. At least it made me laugh to listen to him admit that he had thought she was into him when she really thought he was an arrogant asshole and wanted nothing to do with him. Then I settled in and tried to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. I had too much on my mind. I needed to talk to Jade, and it kept me tossing and turning all night.
The next morning, Kryder showed up around eight. After a quick shower, I headed out in search of Jade, but that proved to be one roadblock after another. I wasn’t allowed in the ICU because I wasn’t family—they wouldn’t even tell me if she was there. Her phone kept going to voicemail, and I didn’t have Stevie’s number, let alone where she lived, and I had no way to get that information without my computer. By the afternoon, I had no choice but to return to Geneva Key and wait to hear from her.
With my suspension, I was left with endless days filled with worry, aggravation, heartache, and the most intense longing I’d ever experienced. I took up walks on the beach just to pass the time. The air had started to cool, which in Florida meant it was slightly better than the pits of hell, so I found myself strolling along the shore for hours each day.
On Thursday, I returned home from the gym just as the sky started to turn colors, alluding to the pending sunset. I would’ve stayed out all night if I could’ve, but after a certain point, it became loitering. You’d think after living alone for so long, the quietness wouldn’t be so difficult, but it was. Although, not near as hard as parking my car next to Jade’s behind my house, only to walk inside and she not be there.
Just like I did every time I came home from somewhere, I took one last look over my shoulder at the blue Jetta with faded paint and dented fender, and then went inside. It took two steps for my world to come to a screeching halt. A total of six seconds from the front door to the kitchen to make my heart stop.
It had taken three and a half breaths before my lungs ceased to inflate.
21
Jade
“What are you doing here?” My voice got stuck in my chest, making the words sound like they were croaked out. I took one step back, but the bed stopped me, and I realized I had nowhere else to go. I wasn’t afraid, yet my hands trembled and my breathing shuddered. Heat consumed me without any explanation, the emotions inside not making sense. “I-I thought you’d be gone.”
Over the last week, I’d had a lot of time to think. Even after Mom had come out of the coma, I’d spent many hours in silence, watching her sleep, which afforded me the opportunity to sort through what had happened with Cash. The fear I’d felt toward him had long since subsided, the anger had diminished, and what I was left with was hurt—unfathomable betrayal.
And confusion. Lots and lots of confusion.
He slowly put one foot in front of the other until only a couple of feet separated us. It wasn’t predatory, but almost as if he couldn’t believe I was here. His eyes searched mine while his shoulders rolled like a slow tide with each controlled breath.
“You came back…” He glanced behind him, through the open bedroom door, and then back at me. “I saw your purse on the kitchen table, and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but they weren’t. You’re here. You came back. Where’s Aria?”