“Oh, God.” The words slipped past my lips. I was unable to cover my mouth fast enough before I drew Cash’s attention to my revelation. I’d had Aria in his home, alone with him, in his care. In the presence of a killer. He’d been in my bed—inside me—but nothing was as bad as his role in my daughter’s life. “No, no, no, no…”
I tried to skirt around him, but he was too fast. His arm wound around my waist, his giant paw gripping my hip. There was no escape, no freedom. No way out of this. The panic increased with each second that ticked by. The longer he touched me, the hotter my skin burned, until I felt like I was melting from the inside out.
“We gotta get her outta here, son.” The older man’s voice had calmed, lost most of its menacing tone. It was almost filled with concern, maybe compassion.
But I refused to go anywhere with him, so I continued to fight against the hold Cash had on me. “No! I need to get a book. I came for a book to read to my mom, and I can’t leave without it.”
The burly arms that acted as chains loosened some, but not enough for me to wrangle free. “Come on…let’s go get it. Where is it?” The same deep, buttery tone I’d heard many times before flooded my ears and tricked my brain. It called to my heart and promised me safety. It told me of all the things his touch always conveyed—that he would protect me, love me, wield his sword in my defense.
Nothing more than lies decorated with velvet.
“Living room,” I choked out in the hopes he wouldn’t pick up on my trepidation.
Although, it’d been foolish to think he’d missed the hitch in my voice. He grabbed my hand and led me around the corner, past the staircase, toward the front of the house. His stumble and uncertainty of the layout proved he hadn’t ventured far from the kitchen, and it made me wonder what exactly had taken place before I’d shown up.
While I scanned the bookshelves in search of the broken spine and illegible title, he remained behind me, as if watching my every move in case I tried to flee. I’d spotted it almost immediately, but rather than grab it so we could leave, I hesitated, hoping it’d offer a moment to escape. However, yet again, Cash was able to read me like a bold headline.
His arm stretched out over my shoulder and hovered in front of the line of books. It reminded me of the indicator on a metal detector, swaying slowly from side to side. The more I reacted, the closer he came to the one I had my eyes set on. And the moment he touched that particular spine, I lost the game.
There was no point in fighting him—I wouldn’t win.
And honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
Even now, I had a hard time separating the man I knew from the one I found in the kitchen.
I turned to face him, yet not look at his face, and grabbed the book from his hands. I held it close to my chest and hoped it would hide my accelerated breathing. It did not. Instead, it called his attention until he had his hands on my shoulders, keeping me directly in front of him.
“He won’t hurt you,” he assured me.
One glance into his eyes, and the dam threatened to break. “It’s not him I’m worried about right now.”
It was like my words were knives shoved straight into his heart. Every ounce of the tough guy inches away from me seemed in pain, physical agony caused by my truth. “You think I’ll hurt you?”
“I-I don’t even know what to think anymore.”
He cradled my face in his hands and held my stare. “I love you, Jade. Know that. Trust that.”
“I have to go. I have to get back to my mom,” was all I could whisper.
Without another word, he took my hand and led me away. He must’ve sensed my fight had depleted, because his grip wasn’t as tight as before, although it wasn’t loose enough to slip free.
When we made it back to the kitchen, I glanced down at the person who once controlled so much of my life, who had embedded so much fear in me, yet I couldn’t even muster the strength to hate him the way I should. I detested him, yes…but not with the ferocity I’d had earlier. Not with the need to attack him and prove that I had won.
Because I hadn’t won.
I’d lost…so much.
And I wasn’t sure how I’d ever get it back.
If I’d ever get it back.
My fight instinct had taken flight, and all I was left with was hopelessness.
20
Cash
Rhett didn’t trust me to leave with Jade. Either that, or he didn’t trust Jade to leave at all. He left the cleanup for Kryder to handle, met us in the garage, and demanded he drive my car. I had no idea how they’d gotten here—and if they drove, where they had parked—but I was in no position to ask. Not to mention, he’d never answer, anyway.
I climbed into the back with Jade while Rhett ran inside. She was so distant, but I couldn’t exactly blame her. She’d walked in on me at my worst, and there was no explanation I could offer. Not sure what all she’d heard or even how long she’d been in the house, I had no idea where to begin. But the bottom line was…she’d lost all trust in me. I saw it vanish from her eyes when I had her against the kitchen counter. The admiration and conviction in her stare was there one minute, and then empty the next. I had no clue what had happened in those few seconds, but whatever it was left a divide a mile wide between us, and it only seemed to get bigger.
“Talk to me, Jade. Please,” I begged quietly, afraid of coming off too strong.
She curled into the door and leaned against the window. We were still parked in the garage, and the only thing she had to look at was the wall lined with shelves. I doubted she could focus on anything, and she more than likely just used it as an excuse to ignore me.
But I wouldn’t let her. I inched closer to the middle and angled my body to face hers. With one hand on the passenger seat and the other on the headrest behind her, I closed the distance even more. “I don’t care what words you use, just please say something.”
“I’m not sure what else there is to say, Cash.” Her fingers covered her lips, which muffled her soft-spoken argument.
“Yell. Scream. Anything.”
She tilted her head, something in the garage catching her attention. And when I glanced away from her, I noticed Rhett heading back out, stalking toward the driver’s side door. He yanked it open in a blatant show of his irritation and settled behind the wheel. Kryder appeared in the entryway, half in, half out, his hand hovering over the button on the wall to raise the garage door. When Rhett gave him a quick nod, he tapped it. Then the engine purred to life.
I sat back in my seat and settled in for an incredibly uncomfortable ride.