I had a stack of clean clothes on the couch with my phone flipped open on the coffee table when the back door opened and Cash came in. He carried one brown bag by the handle, certainly not enough to have kept him out most of the day. Rather than offering a greeting, he took one look at me, set the bag down by the door, and headed into his room. And that’s where he stayed for close to ten minutes.
After taking my folded clothes to my room and putting them away, I came back to a text, asking me if Aria was awake and if I had time to talk. I quickly typed out my reply, my eyes dancing between the screen and his bedroom to keep an eye on his whereabouts, and then I pressed send.
Me: He’s in his room, but the door is open, so he might hear me. I have no idea what he’s doing in there. He came home and has been in there ever since.
While I sat on the couch, I kept my eyes glued to his open door until another text came through. It was odd, not making sense. I read it again before noticing the name of the sender.
Cash: If you’re talking about him, maybe he has a right to hear what you’re saying.
I felt sick to my stomach after going back to the last text, asking if I had time to talk, and realized it hadn’t been from Stevie. Had I taken one second or paid just a bit more attention, I would’ve seen his name, and could have kept myself from sticking my foot in my mouth.
Rather than wait for him to come to me, I pulled myself off the couch and slowly approached his room, where I found him sitting on the side of the bed, hunched forward with his head in his hands. I carefully made my way to him and took a seat on the mattress by his side. Not once did he look up or drop his hands.
“Did you think you were texting Stevie?” His voice was so low it resembled gravel being raked across pavement.
“Yeah. We were texting, so I didn’t pay attention to the name.”
“When I asked you earlier about moving back, you said you hadn’t discussed it with her. Was that a lie?” He turned his head to the side to regard me. “Tell me the truth, Jade. I think I deserve that at this point. If you’re planning on leaving, I have a right to know.”
And he did. He’d spent so much time and money turning the back bedrooms into what they were for Aria and me. The detail that had gone into her room alone was enough to make me feel like a horrible person for even contemplating going back.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry. You paid a lot of money for furniture and a decorator—”
“Stop.” He finally dropped his hands and pressed them into the mattress on either side of his hips, straightening his spine and squaring his shoulders. The muscles in his arms bulged and strained against the sleeves of his shirt. “This isn’t about the money. Forget about that. Just tell me what I’ve done to push you away. Something happened, Jade. We were fine Sunday night, but for some reason, when I woke up this morning, it was like you already had your bags packed. I’m willing to bet that had I not come back early, I would’ve walked into an empty house.”
This had been easier when I planned it in my head. When you avoid confrontation, it makes dealing with things so much harder. But I’d managed to get myself here, and he was right—he deserved an explanation. “I haven’t made up my mind yet. So it wasn’t a complete lie. I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things and how some of what you’ve told me just doesn’t add up.”
He grabbed my hand and held it on the bed between us, the heat from his palm soaking into my skin. When my gaze found his pleading eyes, I couldn’t look away. It made everything hit me harder when he said, “Then talk to me about it. I have no idea what you’ve discussed with Stevie or anyone else, so I don’t have a clue what they’ve told you. But something has you ready to run for the hills, and all I’m asking for is a chance to possibly offer you some clarification. Maybe I can help you add it up so you stop looking at me like I’m going to hurt you.”
I had to turn away, unable to hold his gaze and confess the ridiculous reasons that led me to question him. “Yes, I’ve talked to Stevie about it. When she came over yesterday, she asked me what your motivation was to let me live here rent free. I couldn’t answer her because I don’t know. When she suggested I look online to make sure what you’ve told me hasn’t been a bunch of lies, I started to think about my inability to do so. Then I began to question why a network engineer wouldn’t have a computer in his home. It gave me some doubts.”
He withdrew his hand and leaned toward his nightstand without saying a word. After opening the doors on the bottom, he pulled out a laptop with a hard, black case covering the top and bottom. And I immediately felt like a moron.
“You’ve never asked or made any comments about needing to use one, so I never thought to tell you about it. But here you go.” He held it out for me and waited until I took it, until I cradled it in my lap while staring at the image of an apple on the center of the lid. “I keep it right there, but you’re more than welcome to use it. The power cord is in there, too.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not sure what else to say.
“No need to apologize. But there’s no way you got yourself this worked up over a computer. There’s got to be more. Don’t stop now; keep going. Anything you’ve questioned or Stevie has brought up, ask. If I can, I’d love nothing more than to clear the air now, rather than drag this out and chance you packing up and leaving.”
He was right. And the more I held back, the longer the doubt would linger. “You’ve told me what you do, but I have no idea what company you work for. When you’re gone, I call you on your cell because you work in the field, but is there a main number to the office? Is there even an office?”
“It’s called WireComm—wireless communications. And yes, there’s an office with people who answer phones.” He stood, walked to his closet, and disappeared inside for a moment before returning with a business card. “That’s the number. If you call, they’ll either dispatch it to my cell or take a message, to which they just send me a text. That’s why I never give out the main number, because it’s no different than calling me directly.”
I pinched the card between my fingers and held it in front of me, pretending to read the words printed on the front. Really, I didn’t care what it said. I’d convinced myself he’d lied about his job, and this just proved me wrong.
“Go ahead, call the number and ask for me.”
“I don’t need to, Cash.”
“Jade…” He angled his body toward me and dipped his chin, bringing his eyes level with mine. “You’ve already told me you question if what I’ve said is the truth or not. And you and I both know there’s no way to truly prove I’m not lying unless you do more than just believe the words I say. So please, call the number and ask for me.”
I set the computer down behind me on the mattress and flipped open my phone. The call rang in my ear twice before a woman answered. “WireComm, how may I direct your call?”
Peering into the midnight eyes next to me, I said, “Cash Nicholson, please.”
The sound of her typing on a keyboard filled the line. “I’m sorry, he’s off duty right now. If you’d like, I could take a message.”