He shrugged and stalked into the room, taking a stance across from me at the desk, his shoulders squared and spine straight. At sixty-five, he was still one scary motherfucker. He’d had two hip replacements, a knee replacement, a shattered elbow he claimed to have healed by rubbing dirt on it, yet he could still kick someone’s ass half his age.
“That’s somethin’ you’ll never know. If these men choose to weave tales to end the torment, they’ll do it regardless of how long they’ve been sittin’ in the box. Day one, day five…whenever they decide they can’t take any more. But that’s not your job to worry ’bout. These reports”—he pointed to the stacks in front of me on the desk—“are sent to yet another team who dissects ev’ry word, and then they compare that to the information they have.”
He was right. Rhett had been doing this since the beginning of time. We had a standing joke that he had been one of the ones allowed on Moses’s ark during the flood. If there was one person in this business to trust, it was him.
I released a sigh of defeat and leaned back in the chair, ignoring the ache that had long since turned the right side of my torso numb. “I just hate it. These jobs consume so much of my time; it’s frustrating not to see it to the bitter end.”
Rhett scrubbed his bear-like palm down his face. “I get it. Trust me, I do. But if there’s any advice I can offer, it’s this: Don’t let this job define you. Live your life outside this place, love fiercely, and never, ever, worry ’bout things that don’t concern you. You’re given a target, and you get ’im. If he needs a push to confess, handle it. But anything that takes place one minute b’fore your task begins or one minute after you’re dismissed is not your problem. Got it?”
I nodded, knowing better than to argue or question him.
“Listen, son. You’ve done your job, and we all appreciate it. Now go home. Enjoy two extra days off, and for cryin’ out loud, take it easy. You’ll need the use of that arm come next week.” He gestured to the dead weight hanging limply by my side—the wasted limb that was once my arm.
I glanced at it, trying not to notice the loss of muscle mass, and then once again, nodded my response. I still had to make it back to the safe house to take a shower and change my clothes before heading to the landing strip. Then I had about a three-hour flight to Florida. I’d been up since two o’clock Monday morning with roughly six hours of sleep since. I was lucky I wasn’t drooling on myself and wondered if it made more sense to sleep off my exhaustion and just head home in the morning. But then Jade crossed my mind, and I decided I needed the simple human connection she offered and wasn’t interested in waiting.
Just after two in the morning, I pulled my SUV around the back of the house. Jade didn’t expect me home for another two days, so I worried I’d frighten her by going inside. I quickly typed out a text and hit send, giving her a heads-up that I was on my way in. That way, if the alert on her phone woke her, she wouldn’t be scared when I opened the door. And if she slept through it, she’d see in the morning that I was there.
The entire way up the back steps, I hoped she’d heard her phone.
Carefully opening and closing the door, I hoped she’d woken up.
Even after my shower, I hoped she’d be awake.
But she wasn’t. She’d slept through it all. And even though I’d barely gotten any sleep and had to almost drag my feet with every step, I couldn’t manage to succumb to the night. I did nothing but stare at my ceiling, wondering how I’d gotten so dependent on one person in such a short amount of time, but it made sense when I realized she was the only person actively in my life who wasn’t privy to the things I’d done.
A screaming child was not the best thing to wake up to. I flung the covers off and threw myself out of bed all too fast. By the time I made it to my bedroom door, I felt like I’d snapped all the ribs on my right side in half. But that didn’t stop me. The high-pitched wail lit a fire under my ass, and no amount of pain would keep me from getting to her.
Then I made it to the living room and found Aria on the ground, her little fists pounding against the floor. Jade stood over her, desperately trying to get her to stop. That’s when I realized she wasn’t in trouble, and the world began to spin again—bringing on the throbbing agony I’d pushed down.
“I’m so sorry, Cash. I was trying to get her out of the house before she woke you.”
I took one glance at Jade and offered the most reassuring smile I could, while trying to regain my composure and strength. When I made it to Aria, I waved her mother off and took a seat next to her on the floor, practically falling to my knees at her side. She stopped long enough to turn her head, find me there, and then launched herself into my unsuspecting arms.
The world quieted, and there was no such thing as pain. Darkness didn’t exist and evil was an urban legend. I had no idea what I’d done to deserve this, but I wished I did…so I could do it over and over again.
“I’m so sorry. I made the mistake of telling her to be quiet because you were asleep. I guess all she heard was that you were home, and she made it her personal mission to get to you. So I thought if I could get her out of the house, you would be able to sleep in, and that’s when she decided to throw a tantrum.” Jade knelt down behind Aria, facing me, and attempted to pull her daughter out of my arms.
I shook my head, showing her it was okay. She made a face, one I could’ve probably read had I not been so lost in the tiny arms of the angel in my lap. But rather than analyze her furrowed brows and constricting pupils, I held onto the trembling child until she calmed.
“Where were you going to go?” I took note of her purse on the floor next to the door.
“Oh, um…we need groceries.” She shifted her gaze toward the door, not looking at me when she answered. She didn’t need to admit it was a lie, because her reaction did it for her.
However, I also wasn’t going to call her out on it. I figured if she wasn’t comfortable enough to tell me the truth, I’d make it incredibly hard for her to keep up the charade. Fully aware she wouldn’t agree to leaving Aria at home with me when she went to the store, I gave her the only option I had left. “Give me a couple of minutes to clean up and change, and I’ll go with you.”
“No, you don’t have to. You got in late. I’m sure the last thing you want to do is walk up and down aisles looking at food with us. Not to mention, Aria can be a handful in the store. Really, it’s fine. I can handle it.” Something was off, and if I had to compare nutrition labels all morning to discover what it was, then so be it.
“I don’t mind at all. It’s clear my sidekick missed me, so it’ll just be easier if I go, too.”
The corner of Jade’s mouth curled ever so slightly. Her eyes brightened and dropped to her child, who still had her arms wound around my neck. “Your sidekick?”
“Yeah, but don’t get jealous. She still loves you.”