Maybe they would understand, but I was still the enemy’s daughter.
Maybe if I was someone else, maybe if I wasn’t an Abandonato, it wouldn’t have mattered. But would they still feel the same way if they knew that I was Alfredo’s daughter? An Italian? The same family that they hated so much.
“I don’t know what you have been through. But if you’ve come this far, then you are a fighter. You are not weak,” he continued in a surprisingly soft voice.
Nikolay slowly moved toward me and stopped only inches away. He was so close that his legs were almost touching mine. I swallowed nervously, and from my sitting position, I had to bend my head backward to look up at him. He was so tall that the top of my head only came up to his stomach. Nikolay towered over me as I blinked up at him with tearful eyes.
His pitch black eyes were intense and piercing, impossible to read, and they gleamed in the glow of the sunset.
My eyes widened when I felt something warm on my arm. I looked down quickly to his hand placed gently over my bandages. He rubbed his thumb back and forth, causing my stomach to flip.
“You are worth more than this,” he whispered.
At his words, I remembered what Alessio said this morning. His voice rang through my mind. “You are worth more than you think.” I brought a hand up and covered my mouth as a sob broke through.
“You are a fighter, Ayla. So keep fighting. Don’t give up now.” He gently caressed my arm one last time before pulling his hand away and stepping back.
He walked away silently, and I continued to cry, my eyes still fixated on my bandaged arm.
I never thought of myself as a fighter. I was weak. Broken.
But he had called me a fighter. He was right, I had come this far. I endured years of torture, so why was I giving up now?
I laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling as the tears continued to run down my cheeks.
“You are worth more than you think.”
Alessio’s voice kept repeating over and over again my head. I had Maddie, Lena, Alessio…and Nikolay. They understood me. They didn’t question. They just accepted.
Maybe I do matter, I thought.
I didn’t know how much time had passed, but I was still lost in my thoughts when I heard another knock on the door. Sitting up on the bed, I called out, “Come in.”
The door opened and Maddie walked in with a big smile on her face. And in her hands was a large bouquet of pink flowers.
“How are you feeling?” she asked cheerfully.
“Good,” I responded, my eyes on the flowers. They were so beautiful. Pointing at them, I looked up at Maddie curiously, “What are you doing with these?”
Her hazel eyes twinkled and she gave me another smile. “They are for you, silly.”
“For me?” I asked, astonished.
“Uh-huh. They are pink calla lilies,” she replied, walking over to my nightstand. Maddie took out the other flowers there to put these ones.
“They are so beautiful.” I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
Maddie paused in what she was doing and turned toward me. “Alessio got them for you,” she said slowly. “He said to get well soon.”
My back straightened at her words. I looked up at her in shock, my eyes filled with questions. She smiled and nodded.
Placing my hands out, I whispered, “Can I hold them?”
She gave me the flowers. As soon as my fingers wrapped around the stems, I brought them closer to me and inhaled the sweet scent. It smelled refreshing. Sweet.
But that was not what made my heart race.
Nobody had ever given me flowers before. No one.
But Alessio bought me flowers. He was the first person to give me flowers. The most beautiful flowers ever.
My heart did a flip and I couldn’t help the tiny smile that stretched across my lips. It was small and faint, but a smile nonetheless.
“They are so beautiful,” I whispered again, holding the bouquet close to my chest.
“I know,” Maddie whispered back.
I looked up at her and she smiled, staring right into my eyes, “For once, I agree with his choice.” She mumbled something under her breath that I didn’t comprehend, but I didn’t pay attention to it.
All I cared about was the bouquet of flowers I was holding in my hand. Bringing them close to my face again, I inhaled its sweet scent.
You are loved. You matter.
Alessio’s voice rang through my head as I closed my eyes.
When he first said those words to me, I hated them. I hated him. They had cut deep into my heart, hurting me. Yet at this very moment, those same words brought me peace.
Chapter 36
Alessio
I paced the length of my office, my mind filled with Ayla. She was all I could think about the whole damn day. I couldn’t get rid of her face. Her frail body as I held her in my arms, her blood surrounding us.
I had locked myself in the office so I wouldn’t be tempted to go to Ayla. She needed time, I told myself. But it was a struggle being away from her when all I wanted was to offer comfort.
I just wanted her to open up, yet she stayed stubborn.
When a knock sounded at the door, I growled at the person to enter. The door opened and I turned around to see Nikolay walking in.
“So?” I demanded when he closed the door. “Did she say anything?”
Nikolay’s face was blank, his eyebrows drawn together as he regarded me impassively. He shook his head at my question and then sighed.
When Ayla had closed down on me, refusing to listen to a word I said, I thought that maybe she would connect with Nikolay if he told her what he’d been through. He was a man of few words. He loathed talking about what happened, but I knew he wouldn’t refuse me. As soon as I had laid my thought on the table, Nikolay had nodded and left without saying anything.
I had hopes that maybe Ayla would open up. If not to me or Maddie, maybe to Nikolay. But she clearly didn’t.
“Nothing at all?” Taking a step back, I leaned against the table and crossed my arms across my chest.
“No, boss. I tried, but she isn’t ready. I don’t think she will be ready any time soon,” Nikolay responded.
I sensed a hint of understanding from his tone. It took him years to finally overcome his PTSD and even now, he was not fully recovered.
“We just need to give her time,” he continued, his voice softening slightly. If there was someone who understood Ayla to the core, then it was Nikolay.
I swore under my breath, running my hand through my hair in frustration.
“We can’t push her too hard.”
“I know that,” I said, glaring at him.
“What are you going to do now?” he asked curiously.
And that was a question that I didn’t have an answer for. I was lost at what to do or how to deal with Ayla. She was so fragile that I was scared of taking a step that would end up hurting her. Or worse, have her shutting down further.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. He grew silent at my response. The room was filled with tension and I turned my back to Nikolay, facing the large window that overlooked the back garden.
“But I will figure it out,” I said with conviction.
“Do you need me for anything else?” Nikolay asked