Sinking down on my bed, tears blinded my vision and they fell freely down my cheeks.
I couldn’t sleep without it. The nightmares would come back.
I laid down and hugged my legs to my chest, sobbing into my pillow.
“Did you want him? Huh? Answer me!” Alberto hissed as he continued to rain the whip down my bare back.
“No!” I cried out as pain blinded my vision. My back and my legs were on fire. I was naked and tied in a spread-eagle position. The chains from the ceiling were wrapped around my wrists, holding me up. My toes were barely touching the ground.
“I saw the look you were giving him! You wanted to fuck him, didn’t you? You wanted his cock inside you, huh?”
I shook my head violently and cried out when the whip made contact with my back again. “No,” I gasped. “I didn’t do anything. I don’t want him.”
It was true. The man was giving me weird looks all night. He even tried to touch me, and I had tried my best to stay away from him. I barely even looked at him. He made my skin crawl.
But Alberto being Alberto, he only believed what he wanted.
If a man wanted me, it was my fault. I tempted him. It was my body. Me. It was all my fault.
And I had to pay for it.
Because I betrayed him. My body betrayed him.
“Alberto, please.”
But he was relentless. He showed me no mercy.
Fisting my hair around his fingers, he pulled my head back sharply. I winced at the pain that shot through my neck. He slapped me hard against the face and I tasted blood where his ring cut my lips.
“Liar,” he spat in my face.
“Please. Believe me,” I begged.
“You are mine! Mine! Your body is mine. Your lips are mine. Your pussy is mine. Your ass is mine. Do you understand! All mine!” Alberto hissed through gritted teeth. His fingers bit into my cheeks as he grasped my chin, making me look him straight in the eye.
I quickly nodded and agreed, hoping that he would stop his torture on my body. “Yes. Yes. I’m yours, Alberto. I belong to you. Only you! My body is yours. Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t want him,” I sobbed.
My body was burning. My cheeks were aching. My heart was pounding. And my heart was breaking.
“You need to be taught a lesson. Then you will understand,” he said, letting my chin go. Raising the whip high in his hands, I flinched before it made contact with my body. And when it did, I screamed in agony.
When he was done abusing my body, he dropped the whip and started to unzip his pants. His cock was already hard.
Closing my eyes, I waited for what would come next.
But no matter how much I tried to prepare myself, the pain was always the same. It always felt like I was being cut from the inside. I cried out as he slammed into me, my toes completely leaving the ground.
He painfully rammed inside of me a few times and then he was roaring his release. Pulling out of me, he grabbed my chin again. “Look at me!” he ordered harshly.
My eyes snapped opened and I stared at his furious black eyes. His lips slammed down on mine and I winced. It hurt. Pulling back, he pressed his nails into my cheeks.
“You are mine, Ayla. Never forget that.”
My eyes shot open. Sitting up in bed, I felt sick and my skin was burning. It felt like I had just been whipped. My stomach twisted violently and I struggled out of my bed. I limped to the bathroom and fell down in front of the toilet before retching.
I gagged. Vomited. And cried.
I was shaking uncontrollably and dizziness clouded my vision as I continued to sob. The pain. Oh, God. It was pressing down on my chest and I couldn’t breathe.
Everything was going too perfectly.
This was supposed to be my new beginning.
I had hope. I really thought I had moved on.
But how false it was.
There was no hope, no peace.
It was all a dream. A fantasy. False hope. Jaded hope.
I was living a constant nightmare.
What was the point of living? What the point of continuing on when all I felt was pain, indescribable pain?
Looking up, I noticed the shaving razor Maddie had given me. It was on the counter. Right next to me, as if it had been placed there for me to use at this moment. Moving to my knees, I reached for it. I held it in my shaky hands as my harsh breathing continued to fill the bathroom.
My hands were trembling so hard that the razor almost fell out of them, but I grasped it hard. Moving back, I sat against the tub and pulled my knees up to my chest as I stared at the razor.
I wanted silence.
I didn’t want to hurt anymore.
The tears continued to run freely down my cheeks, the evidence of my past and pain.
I didn’t know what I was doing. I couldn’t think straight.
All I wanted was peace. Alberto’s voice in my head was driving insane.
Placing my wrist out, I held the razor to it. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back against the tub. I didn’t feel anything when I pressed it hard on my skin and dragged it upward. I opened my eyes and saw a long red line. Blood.
It was seeping from the cut I had made. But I still didn’t feel anything.
Why didn’t I feel the burn?
Why didn’t it hurt?
Growing frustrated, I placed the razor on my other wrist and pressed it down hard, twisting it in my skin. I made a similar cut as the other wrist.
Dropping the razor, I stared at the mess I made. My skin was cut open and there was blood everywhere. It covered my arms. My dress. The floor.
The bathroom swam in front of me and my vision blurred so terribly that I barely saw anything. My head rolled back and my body started to sink down on the floor. I fell sideways, my head hitting the floor hard.
Black dots appeared in front of my vision and I started to go numb. I felt nothing.
And for a brief moment, it was beautiful.
As my eyes started to close and I sank deeper in the darkness, I smiled.
Silence. There was only silence.
And that was all I needed.
***
Maddie
“Hmmm…” I murmured against Artur’s lips.
“I miss you,” he replied before giving me a quick peck.
Giggling, I pushed my fingers in his hair and pulled his lips back to mine, kissing him deeply. “You saw me last night.”
“I missed you the moment you left.”
“Stop being so sweet,” I replied, biting on his lips.
“Only for you, baby.”
He was so sweet sometimes. Ayla was right. I did love him. But I was scared. Was this the right thing? Was he truly the one?
I always wanted epic love. Is this my epic love?
He was sweet, caring, and gentle. But he never said that he loved me. I was waiting for him to confess first. And I was growing desperate as each day passed and there was no confession.
I felt his hands on my ass and he pulled me closer. I was sitting on the kitchen counter with my legs wrapped around his waist. I could feel him against my core.
“Not here,” I whispered. “Mom is going to kill us.”
“I know,” Artur growled. He slightly pulled away and pouted. “Fuck, baby, I need you.”
“After breakfast?”
“Torture,” he shot back. I jokingly slapped his chest and pushed him away from me. I was just about to unwrap my legs from his hips when I saw my mom behind Artur’s back.
Oh shit.