At the thought, my heart stuttered and I swallowed hard.
Get a grip on yourself, Alessio.
And then she looked up, her eyes widened, and her lips fell open in shock. “Alessio.” My name was a whisper on her lips.
Her cheeks were slightly flushed and it made her even more beautiful. Moving my gaze away from her face, I looked at my bandaged hand.
“I…saw that you didn’t clean your hands,” she stuttered. “I thought that maybe I could clean them for you.”
She had no idea what that did to me. She cleaned my wounds. She still cared for me when I was harsh to her.
“It could get infected. That’s why I cleaned it,” she continued.
When was the last time someone took care of me? My heart raced wildly.
“You should clean your other hand,” she said. She sighed and then started to get up.
Panic filled my chest and before I could think, my hand snaked out and I wrapped my fingers around her wrist and tugged until she was kneeling down again. She fell back on her knees in front of me.
I needed her closer. I wasn’t ready to let her leave yet. Ayla tipped her head back and stared at me in shock.
I needed a reason to keep her there, so I held out my other hand.
As she worked, the silence brought me comfort. But what was more comforting was Ayla sharing the silence with me. Her presence brought me comfort even as I tried to deny it.
When Ayla was done, she didn’t let go of my hand immediately, but instead gently rubbed her thumb over my bandaged knuckles.
Then she let go and stared at me again, our gazes meeting, both unflinching. Both of us lost in each other.
And then she broke the connection. My focus was drawn to her black hair, twisted in a tight bun.
She was a beautiful woman, but I wanted to see her with her hair down again. Before she could move, I leaned forward and pulled off her hair band.
When I told her how beautiful she was, I knew those were the most honest words I’d spoken in a long time.
With her twinkling green eyes, her red lips, her cheeks flushed, and her long black hair falling down her back, she was an image impossible to forget. The look she gave me made my heart race.
So fucking beautiful.
She had sunk deep under my skin and I had to get her out as soon as possible.
Only one way to do that.
One fuck and then I would move on.
Ayla would be no different to me. I had to make sure of it.
Chapter 30
Ayla
At his words, my heart flipped and my stomach twisted. He called me beautiful. I quickly ducked my head.
He coughed and then cleared his throat. “Thank you for cleaning my wounds.”
I nodded and then looked up. “I want to thank you too. For taking care of me the night before.” Nervously playing with the hem of my dress, I continued, “I should have thanked you earlier, but didn’t get the chance.”
“Is that why you bandaged my hand?” Alessio asked.
I shook my head quickly and whispered, “No.”
“Was it pity then? I don’t need your pity, Ayla,” he growled.
“It was not pity. I just wanted to help.” And it was true. I didn’t pity him. I felt for him instead. I felt his pain and my heart begged me to offer him comfort. So I did what I could.
“Why is it so bad that I bandaged your hand?” I asked.
Alessio glared down at me and he released a frustrated breath.
“I wanted to help, Alessio. It wasn’t pity. And even if you didn’t take care of me that night, I would have still cleaned your wounds.” He stared at me through hazy eyes and clenched his jaw.
I pinned my hair behind my ears and smoothed it. “I can’t say that I totally understand what you are going through—”
“Don’t,” he hissed.
“But I know what it feels like to have so much pain that you feel like you’re going to die.” I needed him to understand, to see that I was broken too. “So, maybe a little, I do understand your pain. Because I felt it too. Not for the same reasons, but I know what it feels like.” I stared at his bandaged hands. “When I did that, it was me showing you that I understood. I was trying to give comfort in return.” I choked on the last few words.
“I don’t need your comfort, Ayla,” he said through gritted teeth.
My head snapped up at his words and I shook my head. “Everyone needs comforting sometimes.”
“Why the fuck do you make everything so hard?” Alessio growled, standing up. At his sudden action, I fell back on my butt, but quickly scrambled up to my feet. He moved away from me and turned to the wall, giving me his rigid back instead.
“I’m sorry.” Tears blinded my vision and my nose started to tingle. Why was he being so hard? Why couldn’t he just accept it?
“You need to stay in your limits, Ayla,” he warned. At his words, my body froze and fear took place. He was right. I did overstep my boundaries. I was lost in the moment, so lost in his sweet words and gentle gaze that I forgot who he was and who I was.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, my voice shaking.
“Leave!” Alessio ordered.
It felt like a slap in my face and I quickly shuffled backward. When I didn’t move fast enough, he yelled, “Did you not hear what I said? Fucking leave!”
I choked back a sob and quickly swiveled around, then ran out, but stumbled into a hard chest on my way out.
I looked up and saw Nikolay’s angry face. His eyes roamed over my face and then glanced behind me.
“What were you doing in there?” he snapped.
“I—”
“Stay away from that room.” He glared at me. “And stay the fuck away from the boss. He doesn’t have time to deal with you. Understood?”
I nodded without saying anything as the tears fell down my cheeks. Nikolay was indifferent as he walked past me and into the piano room. The door closed behind him.
My heart ached at the thought of Alessio suffering alone. He desperately needed solace, yet refused to accept it even when it was being given to him freely.
Why couldn’t he see my pain? Why couldn’t he see that I was the same as him?
He was too blinded by his own past.
Chapter 31
Ayla
I swiped away my tears as I walked down the stairs in a daze. I couldn’t understand Alessio. He was unpredictable and short-tempered, and he hid his feelings well.
I just wished he let his guard down and let me in. I wanted to know what he was thinking.
As strange as it sounded, I wanted to help him.
But he shut me out every time, first gentle and then rude and heartless.
Every time I was with him, I felt a pull. His touch was fire, his voice silk. And his eyes penetrated my soul.
I should fear him. I did fear him, but under the layers of fear, I cared. He made me feel even when I didn’t want to.
Neither of us wanted to feel. We both tried to hide it.
I walked into the kitchen and found Maddie and Lena there. “Hey,” Maddie chirped from her spot behind the counter.
Lena turned to face me and wiped her hands in her apron. “Good morning, Ayla,” she said with a sweet smile.