Time for me to leave, I thought, staring at Alessio’s emotionless face. Even though he was in pain, he didn’t show it.
To a man like him, feelings meant weakness. And there was no weakness in this life. Our weaknesses would only get us killed.
“Please clean your wounds,” I begged softly. After sparing him another glance, I walked away.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. After the moments I had with Alessio, no matter how awkward and weird it was, I didn’t want to go back to my room alone.
I also was scared of the nightmares. I was scared of the memories that would come to haunt me as soon as I would close my eyes. Alberto’s face haunted me.
I had just a few moments filled with serenity and now I was petrified of feeling the all-encompassing pain that blinded me.
Dread filled me as I approached my room.
I closed my eyes and willed myself to open the door. I just wished that I could sleep peacefully without memories haunting me.
Just as the thought went through my head, my eyes snapped open as I remembered the scene in my room a few nights ago.
I did have a peaceful sleep.
Alessio’s jacket.
It kept the nightmares away.
With wide eyes, my head swiveled to the left in the direction of Alessio’s room. The one right next to the piano room. Maybe, just maybe, if I had his jacket with me, I could sleep again.
It seemed pathetic, but I just wanted to sleep. Without fear, without pain twisting my heart.
Quickly making up my mind, I stepped away from my room and walked toward Alessio’s. My steps were slow, yet determined.
When I saw no one, I opened the door and slid inside. The room was dark and I searched for a light switch.
As soon as I found it, I turned on the lights and the room was instantly illuminated. Without wasting time, I made my way to his closet, filled with tailored suits and dress shirts. Most of his suits were dark colors, a representation of him. I couldn’t imagine Alessio wearing anything but dark colors.
With my heart beating wildly, I took a black suit jacket off the hanger and held it to my chest. I placed the empty hanger at the back of the closet so he wouldn’t find it.
Bringing the jacket up, I buried my face in the soft fabric and inhaled. The same scent of cologne filled my nose. My tense muscles started to relax and I sighed.
I couldn’t explain it. How could Alessio bring me peace? Even though fear was a constant factor, he calmed my heart in a strange way.
I hurried out of his room and into mine.
With my gaze still fixated on what I was holding, I mindlessly made my way to my bed and slid under the soft comforter.
I brought the jacket next to my face on the pillow, holding it tight, as if scared someone would take it away from me.
My eyes started to close. A tired yawn escaped me and I settled deeper under the comforter.
The last thing I saw before falling asleep was Alessio’s suit jacket. As sleep took over my body and mind, I prayed that the painful memories wouldn’t come back.
***
The sun peeked in my bedroom window, lighting the room like a fiery halo. I lifted my head from the pillow, my black hair tumbling down my back like a waterfall.
It was morning already.
Alberto hadn’t visited my dreams. I closed my eyes yet again, the sun’s waking rays warming my body. I felt warm inside too. Full. Relieved. Maybe a little content.
Memories of the night before ran through my sleepy mind and I couldn’t help but smile.
Alessio had let me play the piano. My heart quickened at the thought and my smile widened. Alessio, even though he was cold and hard. Sometimes rude and mean. He could be sweet.
I turned around and saw his black suit jacket lying next to my face on my soft pillow. Bringing it close, I placed my head on it.
Because of this, I had a good sleep, a sleep without any of my past memories haunting me.
Maybe this was my key to stopping my nightmares. I looked at this jacket, my heart racing against my chest.
After giving it a final stare, I sat up in bed and folded the jacket and carefully placed it under my pillow.
“You are my secret,” I whispered, getting out of bed.
I quickly went through my morning routine. After taking a hot shower, I twisted my hair in a bun and then slid into my black dress. Tying the white apron around my waist, I looked at my reflection.
I looked different somehow. My cheeks were rosy and fuller. There weren’t any black circles under my eyes but instead, my green eyes were shining brightly. A small smile was playing across my lips.
It was weird. My father had died last night, yet I felt content.
Placing both my hands on the counter, I exhaled. Who knew? Living in the enemy’s house, I had found friends and a mother figure. I was happy here.
On my way toward the stairs, I passed the piano room. My steps faltered in front of it and I stared at the closed door.
Was Alessio still in there?
Curious, I stepped toward the door and slowly turned the knob. The door opened and I tensed.
I peeked inside and sucked in a shocked breath at the sight. Alessio was still sitting in the same spot, bloody and in the same dirty clothes. The first aid kit sat on the coffee table, untouched.
My heart twisted as I stepped inside, and my nose started to tingle. My vision blurred slightly with unshed tears. His head was resting against the back on the couch with his eyes closed.
His breathing was even, his chest moving slowly up and down. Alessio was asleep. I gazed at him as he slept.
I walked forward and stopped right in front of him. A few strands of his hair fell on his forehead, and before I could stop myself, I bent forward and softly brushed them away. Lines of tension creased on his forehead, showing that even in his sleep, he was riddled with pain.
But as I continued to stare at his sleepy face, I couldn’t help but think that he looked kinder. My gaze raked the length of his body. His black shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a little of his muscled chest. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and I stopped at his hands.
They looked worse than the night before. Dried blood covered his swollen knuckles and fingers. I winced at the sight. I had a feeling he wouldn’t listen to me, but I still hoped.
I was tempted to clean his wounds for him, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.
I didn’t want to anger him more, not when he was already going through so much.
I bit on my lips as I continued to step back, but with each step away from Alessio, my stomach sank deeper.
I stopped and stared at the broken man in front of me.
I couldn’t be this heartless, could I? I couldn’t leave him in this state when I could help instead.
Placing my hand over my beating heart, I chewed on my lips. I moved closer to him, slowly.