It got so bad that I eventually left my Key West house and went to Miami instead. There, I booked a suite and called up a local modeling agency I was friendly with. They had three girls at the hotel in under an hour.
But even the company of three beautiful women and endless champagne couldn’t scratch my itch. I ended up sending the girls away without anything happening. The rest of the night was spent working. I stayed up so late going over plans and writing emails that I slept until noon.
And now here I was, back where it all began. Back in the city that Riley was in.
She hadn’t called or texted. Maybe she was waiting for me to. If that was the case, she’d be waiting for a while. Though I’d mostly been trying to stop myself from dwelling on thoughts of her, I had allowed myself to come to a couple conclusions. One was that we could see each other again. It just couldn’t be right away, and it couldn’t be all the time. Two was that I needed to remember who I was and what my long-term goals were. There was no room in my life for a girlfriend. I’d begun to forget that with Riley, and that’s when things became messy.
Nice and easy. Casual. Those were the keywords. I’d write them on the backs of my hands if that’s what it took to remember them.
The plane came to a full stop, and I unbuckled my seatbelt. Grabbing the one small bag I brought with me, I made my way past the other cream-white leather seats. The flight attendant waited for me with a smile. I gave her a nod and stomped my way down the steps. Just a few feet away from the last one, my driver waited for me, the back door to the SUV already open.
I climbed into my seat just as John called.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Mr. Fields, I thought you’d like to know about this weekend’s situation at the club.”
I switched the phone to my other ear so I could get my seatbelt on. “What situation?”
“There’s been a guy hanging around and bothering the younger girls. He came both Friday and Saturday night.”
“Ah.”
A fight. That’s what Enigma’s security guard was calling about. He thought I might be in the mood to beat the shit out of somebody. Truthfully, I was always in the mood to do that. Especially if the guy deserved it.
But my last two fights hadn’t done anything for me. I walked away from both of them feeling even worse than I did before. Pounding my knuckles into some flesh had only served to double my frustrations.
“I have his address here,” John said. “I got one of the guys to follow him home last night, just in case you want to go over there and talk to him.”
I took my time formulating my response. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. You know what the guy looks like now, so ban him. He’s never to come into the club again.”
“Yes, sir.” John paused. “Do you want the address, just in case?”
I licked my dry lips. I was tempted to say yes. I wanted to believe there was a chance that going over to this random dick’s place was just what I needed. But it wasn’t. There was a time when beating up someone who deserved it calmed me, but for some reason, those days were long dead.
“No,” I finally answered. “Get rid of it.”
I hung up before I had the chance to change my mind. The car sped along, joining the rush of traffic pulsing toward the city. I’d never felt so unhappy about returning to New York. At this point, I only did so because there was no other option. My company was here, and it needed my attention.
I repeated it to myself for good measure. My company needs my attention. My company and no one else.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Riley
On Monday morning, I got up with the sun. It burst through the living room window, warming the worn floorboards and urging me to go outside and meet it. Since I had nowhere to be and nothing to do, I took it up on its offer. With my slippers on and a mug of fresh coffee in my hand, I climbed over the windowsill and settled down on the fire escape.
People rushed by on the sidewalk—kids on scooters, dogs tugging at leashes, and adults talking into their cell phones. I felt like I was in my own secret world up here, getting a sneak peek into the lives of those below me.
There was a noise in the living room, and Ann-Marie poked her head out the window. “What are you doing?”
“I’m seizing the day.”
That made her smile. “Oh. Okay, cool. I’m off to work. What’s your schedule later?”
“I’m free as a bird.”
Since I was originally scheduled to work at Crumbs that day, I was now without anything to do all day long. My next waitressing shift wasn’t until Wednesday night. I’d need to start looking for a second job soon, but one day off wouldn’t kill me.
“Let’s meet up. Maybe we can go to that new bar in Hell’s Kitchen and look for guys.”
The mention of men made my stomach drop. My reaction must have shown on my face because Ann-Marie frowned. “What?”
“I don’t want to go looking for guys.”
“Because you’re not ready or because...” She trailed off, gesturing for me to finish the sentence.
“I haven’t even talked to Xavier since Friday. I need to know what’s going on with us.” I took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I can’t just close the door, you know? Not without giving us a real shot.”
“Oh. I figured you’d probably had enough of his shitty attitude.”
“I can’t just stop seeing him, Ann-Marie, just because he’s acted in some ways I don’t like.”
She pursed her lips and slowly nodded. “All right. I get that.”
I didn’t know if she really did or not. In my best friend’s mind, things were pretty cut-and-dried. If someone did her wrong, she got rid of them. No questions asked.
“I’ll text you later,” she said, pulling her head back into the apartment. “Don’t go too crazy on your day off.”
“I’ll try not to.”
I waited until she was gone to pull out my phone. I spent all of the day before thinking long and hard about exactly what I needed to say to Xavier. Now that I had it figured out, it was time to make a move before I lost my nerve.
Do you have time to meet up today?
I sent the text and got back to my coffee and people watching. It wouldn’t do any good to sit around and wait for his response.
When my phone buzzed thirty seconds later, though, I flinched against the fire escape’s black bars.
Yes. We should talk.
That made my heart twist inside out. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with something to say. Was Xavier going to end things with me? If so, it would be better done sooner rather than later.
Before I could respond, he sent me another text with a suggested time and the name of a coffee shop. I recognized the place. It was about three blocks from Enigma. Since I had the time to go all the way over to Manhattan, and I didn’t want to wait any longer before seeing Xavier, I agreed to meet him there in a couple hours.