“I need to talk to you… about tonight.”
A few seconds passed, then the door opened. Dan looked down at me. “What about tonight?”
“I forgot that I can’t stay late after all. I need to help my roommate pick up this couch. She found a really good one on Craigslist, and we have to go get it tonight or else they’ll sell…” I clamped my mouth shut, realizing I was babbling and overexplaining when I shouldn’t need to.
“Can’t someone else help her?”
The chances of finding someone who was willing to spend their Saturday evening heaving a couch up several flights of stairs seemed pretty low. “I don’t think so,” I answered.
Dan sucked on his teeth. “She can get back on Craigslist and find someone to help her. It’ll cost thirty bucks. You’ll make more than that closing tonight.”
I wanted so badly to be agreeable. I needed so badly to be agreeable. But it was like Dan didn’t even get what he was saying. We were supposed to be picking up the couch in three hours. Relying on some stranger from the internet to help sounded like a bad idea in and of itself. And then there was the ever-cautious Ann-Marie. I didn’t need to mention the idea to her to know she would be staunchly against having some random dude in our apartment.
I lifted my chin. “I’m sorry. She needs me to help her.”
Dan’s chest puffed and his shoulders rose almost all the way to his ears. “I thought this job was important to you, Riley.”
“It is important to me.”
His nostrils flared, and he took a tiny step closer. “Maybe it’s not a good fit.”
I stared at Dan, my eyes blinking over and over again. I couldn’t believe he was suggesting what I thought he was. I’d given more hours to this bakery than anyone else who worked here. I’d postponed concerts with Ann-Marie, trips home on the weekends, and better money just to work overtime at Crumbs. I didn’t see anyone else doing those things.
And then it hit me. No one else was doing those things because they weren’t stupid like I was. They hadn’t been allowing themselves to be used.
Dan slowly shook his head. “I thought I could count on you, Riley. You’re my main girl up front. That’s why I need you to pull through for tonight. If you can’t do it, we’ll need to seriously consider whether you belong here or not.”
My eyes burned as I stared back at Dan. “You know, what? You’re right. I’m actually not a good fit for this job.”
Dan’s eyes widened. Seeing his surprise spurred me on. A strength bubbled up from somewhere deep inside and rushed through me like a shot of adrenaline. The words flew from my mouth like they were there all along, just waiting to get out. “I’m actually worth a lot more than this. This job barely pays my bills, and you walk all over me. So, goodbye.” I tossed my apron on the floor between us. “And next time you make the schedule, you might want to think about double-checking it to make sure you actually filled the whole thing out.”
Dan’s face turned red, and his jaw worked around, preparing to shoot something back, but I didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. I no longer cared. Spinning around, I grabbed my purse from the nearby staff coat area and breezed into the bakery.
“What’s up?” Preston asked.
I didn’t break my stride for a second. “I just quit.”
I heard Preston’s thrilled whoop from behind me. A second later, I was out the door, the bell jingling behind me for the last time. My shoes slammed against the pavement as I left Crumbs far behind. Each step became lighter and lighter, until I actually thought I might be soaring.
I couldn’t believe I just did that. I’d just quit that shitty job. That shitty job that I thought I needed. And yet here I was, feeling more relieved than I think I ever have in my whole life. It was like a massive weight had been lifted off my chest. I was free to live my life.
I just couldn’t understand how I did it. The girl who said those things to Dan was nothing like the Riley I was used to. She was someone else entirely.
I entered the subway station and caught the train. It was nearly full, but I managed to grab a seat right by the doors. Collapsing against the cool plastic, I closed my eyes and replayed the scene over in my head. Dan’s pudgy cheeks turning purple and red. The dramatic way I threw my apron on the floor. Preston’s triumphant cry.
Ann-Marie was always telling me to leave that job. She would be so proud to hear I finally did. And so would Xavier.
That thought made my eyes snap back open. Xavier. Because of the drama that just happened with Dan, I actually managed to go twenty minutes without wondering what Xavier was up to.
He’d be happy to hear about what I’d just done. Maybe. Actually, there was no telling just what his reaction would be, considering he acted so strange the last time I saw him.
It was partly because of him that I quit my job. Or maybe entirely because of him. He was the person who pushed me to be more decisive and assertive. And now I’d finally done just that.
Just not with him.
It was a hard pill to swallow. Here I was, standing my ground at work and taking charge of my life. It was exactly what I didn’t do with Xavier. I’d been allowing him to call the shots in our short relationship, without demanding that I get a say in things as well. He may have never opened up the door to me, but I’d never taken it upon myself to knock.
I sat on the seat in shock, staring at the floor. I’d been so dumb. How much of my life had I spent sitting around, just waiting for people to give me what I wanted? I went to school and studied something I didn’t care about because I didn’t have the balls to do what I wanted to do. I got a job at Crumbs and nearly killed myself putting in hours with the hopes I’d be noticed. And I started dating a man that I fell head over heels for, but who I never once asserted myself with.
My whole life had been speeding by, and no one had been guiding it. I’d thought I was present for it all, but I’d actually been checked out almost twenty-four-seven. No more. This passive way of living had to end, and it had to end that very day.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Xavier
I watched the runway lights from the very last seat in my jet. The plane dipped slightly, preparing for its landing. With a slight bump, we hit the runway and arrived back in New York.
Leaving was pointless. I’d hoped I would be able to clear my head and set myself straight, but I’d spent the whole weekend with my mind elsewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about Riley, wishing I’d invited her to join me in Florida.