I might have been the boss around the place, but I didn’t make a habit of turning my employees against me. It was bad policy.
I tried to keep myself busy on the way to the airport by catching up on emails, but my brain was in a fog. I kept thinking about the way I left Riley that morning. Just looking at her was hard. I knew she was confused, I knew she was wondering what was going on with me. And I wished I could have given her an answer, but it wasn’t that simple. There was so much she didn’t know about me. So much she’d never know.
When we’d parted, I didn’t have a plan for how things would keep going between us. I just knew that we were spending too much time together and it was destroying me. If I wanted to get my shit together, I needed to get real about our relationship. I needed to go back to the methods that had served me so well.
If I could see Riley occasionally and do that, then great. And if I couldn’t… then I needed to get used to the possibility that I might never see her again.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Riley
“It’s not that bad.”
I jerked at the voice so close to me and turned to look at Preston. My coworker smiled and leaned on the croissant case. “I know it’s Saturday, but we’ll be out of here soon.”
“Sorry. Was I moping?”
“If that’s what you call staring out the window with an abject longing look on your face, then yes.”
My face flooded with heat. It wasn’t the sunny day outside that I was thinking about. It was Xavier. We hadn’t spoken since we left his building together, and it was already three o’clock on Saturday. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be hearing from him all weekend. If ever.
I’d been thinking long and hard about what Ann-Marie said, and I still felt helpless. I figured that I couldn’t make a decision about Xavier one way or the other until I learned more about what was going on in his life.
If only he’d let me in. He always managed to dodge any question I asked about his past. I didn’t know anything about his friends or his family, and I felt like I’d shared more about myself than most people did in six months.
Maybe he just needed some space. It could have been that he was having problems with work or a friend, and he needed time to let things settle down. Which meant I just had to wait. Unfortunately, that part ripped at my soul. I had all of the next day off, and no plans whatsoever. If I ended up watching my phone, waiting for him to call, I would lose my freaking mind.
“If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean,” Dan’s voice boomed. Preston straightened up from where he still leaned against the baked goods case, and I quickly rubbed the towel in my hand against the counter. Hopefully, it looked like I was in the middle of wiping something up.
“It’s dead out here,” Dan commented, coming to stand next to us. He put his hands on his hips and scrunched his face up. I’d already apologized to him about Xavier’s interrogation the other night, but Dan’s mood toward me seemed to have hardened even more. He never accepted my apology and just said, “Don’t let it happen again.”
“We just had a rush fifteen minutes ago,” I offered.
“Hm.” His eyes lazily roved across the storefront. There were two women chatting in the far corner, but other than that the shop sat empty. The kitchen was winding up for the day and Preston and I were the only two staff members left up front. With the next shift coming on in thirty minutes, I wasn’t jealous at all for the night’s closer. They were going to have a long evening ahead of them.
Dan continued to stand near us, staring at the window. Preston shuffled away toward the cash register, where he started adjusting credit card receipts.
“Who’s closing tonight?” I innocently asked Dan, purely out of a need to kill the uncomfortable silence.
“I’ll need you to.”
“What?”
Over Dan’s shoulder, Preston made a disgusted face at our manager’s back. His distaste for Dan had never been a secret — except to Dan.
“You’re not working at your other job tonight, are you?” Dan asked. “You put that you were available on this week’s schedule.
“No,” I slowly answered. “I’m not working there tonight.”
“Great, so you can close up here.”
“But wasn’t someone already scheduled? You know, with more than thirty minutes’ notice?”
He scratched his jaw and looked away. “I couldn’t find anyone.”
With no further explanation, he left the front and retreated into his tiny office, closing the door behind him. Preston immediately came over to me. “He means he forgot to put someone on the schedule for tonight.”
“What? No. How could he forget? There’s a block right there. All you do is fill someone’s name in.”
Preston raised an eyebrow. “He’s done it before.”
My temples started to pound. “Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
I exhaled so hard my lips flapped against each other. “Great.”
“Why didn’t you tell him you can’t do it?”
Tears pricked my eyes, and I blinked them away. “Because I don’t want to be difficult. I need to get promoted.”
Preston looked like he smelled something bad. “Here? In this place? You’re telling me working at Crumbs is your dream job?”
I shook my head. “Just for a little while.”
“Hm.” The front doorbell tinkled, and a family with small children entered. Preston went to help them, leaving me all alone. My skin felt unusually hot, and my stomach churned like I was about to hurl.
“I’m taking my break,” I called to Preston, who waved his hand over his shoulder at me in acknowledgment.
I took my apron off and went out through the front door. There was a bench along the border of Crumbs and the clothing shop next door. I plopped down there, closed my eyes, and began to take deep breaths. I expected each one to make me feel better, but they didn’t. Instead, I just became increasingly panicked.
What was I doing here? What if all the extra time and energy I’d put into impressing Dan turned out to be for nothing? I would have loved to blame my fear on Xavier, to tell myself that his outburst had likely sabotaged my chances of getting promoted, but I didn’t really think that was true. Dan had never shown any preference toward me. There was no guarantee my time at this bakery would ever get me where I wanted to go.
I should just go back to school. I should take the money I’ve saved and do it. Or go to some other bakery. Somewhere that cares about their employees and will give me a real chance.
My phone buzzed, interrupting my meditation session. I pulled it from my pocket and saw a calendar reminder there. Pick up couch. 6PM.
“Shoot,” I whispered. I’d completely forgotten about the couch. That settled it. Putting my phone away, I went back into the shop. The family from earlier had left and there were no new customers, so I went past the counter and right to Dan’s office, where I knocked on the closed door.
“Who is it?” he asked.
“It’s Riley.”
“What’s up?”