“A date?” Lizzy is holding on to the table for support.
“The girl you’re training!” I jump up from the table. “Charlie! She isn’t putting out so you’ve resorted to asking her out!”
“Fuck off!” Micky snipes seriously. “I could have her like that!” He snaps his fingers.
“Oh my God!” Nat puts her drink on the table to avoid spilling it because she’s laughing so hard. “I can’t…it’s the…you won’t…shit, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!”
The kitchen is alive with laughter, all of us slayed by Micky’s “date.” Does he think we don’t know him? For Christ’s sake! “Micky, you’re killing me!” I howl, grappling for my fake wine and laughing into my glass as I take a sip. “Where are you taking her?”
“Ah, now.” He leans forward. “This is what I need to talk to you guys about.” His motives for having to share news of his date are suddenly all too clear, and it also spikes another bout of laughter. “Come on, girls,” he whines. “Help me out.”
“We don’t know her,” I point out. “Does she like art, culture, food?”
“She loves it when I play with my hair.” He looks at me hopefully. God, I could cuddle him.
“She likes it when you play with your hair?” Nat asks seriously. “Great. Take her with you for your next haircut.”
I stifle my laugh this time, feeling for my lifelong friend. He can’t help being an idiot when it comes to dating women. “Hakkasan is always a winner,” I offer.
“Really?” Micky asks. “It’s quite pricey, though, right?” He backs up, hands raised in defense when we all gape at him.
“Burger King,” Nat sighs. “Take her to Burger King. But I know for a fact that they don’t do a good fuck for dessert. You’ll get a fuck for dessert if you take her to Hakkasan.” She raises her glass in cheers.
I chuckle, as does Lizzy, but Micky rolls his eyes. I love this. I forgot how much. It doesn’t matter that my glass is full of pretend wine. I have my friends around me, and it’s exactly what I need right now. I look at them all in turn, spending some time thinking about how lucky I am to have them.
Lizzy orders Indian, and we all pile into the lounge to watch Titanic. There are no objections, even from Micky. “Watch carefully.” Nat kicks him in the back when he sits on the floor in front of her. “Might get some tips on how to woo.”
He turns and gives her tired eyes. “Put a sock in it, ice queen.”
“Ouch!”
“Shhhh!” Lizzy hushes, pointing the remote control at the TV and cranking up the volume. “Watch it or piss off.”
Nat throws her an indignant look but pipes down with the assistance of my calming palm placed on her thigh. All of us barely move, and only the odd sigh or hum permeates the air as we settle down and watch Kate and Leonardo fall in love. I make it to the point when he sketches her. After that, the movie is just a fuzz of words, and Jack’s words are clear as day, filling my head.
We’ll be okay. Trust me.
*
“Annie?” Lizzy shakes me gently, stirring me. “Annie, Jack’s called.”
She may as well have thrown a firebomb at me. I’m up from the chair like lightning. “Where’s everyone gone?” The living room is empty.
“The film finished an hour ago. I didn’t want to wake you. Thought you could do with the rest.”
What she means is, she thought I could do without the opportunity to think. I can’t thank her enough, but now I’m awake and my mind is careening into panic. “Where’s my phone?” I shoot past her in search of it.
“On the table!” she calls after me as I land in the kitchen.
I spot it and swipe it up, dialing Jack, but it’s taken from my hand before I can connect the call. “What are you doing?” I ask, trying to win it back.
“He’s on his way,” she soothes, holding it out of my reach. “I gave him my address. He should be here any minute.”
What she’s telling me doesn’t even sink in before there’s a gentle knock on the door. I gasp and rush from the kitchen like a speed demon, throwing the door open, out of breath. The vision of him, no matter how wiped out he looks—totally shattered, weary, and drained of life, still centers my off-kilter world. He steps forward and I dive into his arms, pushing my face into his neck. I’m holding him so tightly; I may squeeze what life he has left in him right out.
“Annie,” he breathes. My feet leave the ground and he walks in, holding me to him with one arm while shutting the door with the other. I refuse to let go of him. Ever.
“I’ll leave you to it,” I hear Lizzy say. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything. Help yourself to the kitchen.”
“Thank you,” Jack says quietly, continuing on his way with me wrapped around him like ivy. I know when we’re in the kitchen because the sounds of his footsteps change when hitting the floor, but I still cling onto him. “Baby, sit down.” I shake my head into him, hearing him sigh as he squeezes me before he forces me away gently, pulling a chair out and pushing me down into it. He leaves me looking blankly at him as he rounds the table, obviously struggling to keep himself upright.
“Jack, what’s the matter?” I don’t like his despondency. It’s overshadowing my relief that he’s here.
He pulls his own chair out, and I watch in silence as he lowers his arse to the seat, his elbow going straight to the table, his head resting on his palm. “I need to tell you something.”
My entire body locks up in response. I don’t want to ask, because I’m sure as hell going to hate whatever he’s going to tell me. I don’t like the space he’s purposely put between us either. My head is screaming the question that I refuse to ask out loud. What could possibly have him so flattened? Has she hurt herself again? Has she got into his conscience, churned up guilt?
“She’s pregnant, Annie.”
I jolt in my chair, as if something has come from nowhere and physically taken me out. My heart starts to pump painfully.
“She’s been throwing up,” Jack says quietly. “She did a test.” His eyes close. “It was positive.” He doesn’t want to believe it either.
“No,” I whisper, pushing myself back in the chair, the room starting to spin. The beats of my heart slow with each painful second that passes, and my limbs are beginning to lose all sensation. She’s pregnant. He’s tied to her forever. She’ll be in the background of our lives forever. Our lives? I look across the table at Jack’s beaten form. Our lives. “You’re not going to leave her, are you.”
Jack’s heavy head gradually lifts until gray eyes meet with mine. The life in them has completely gone. They’re empty. “I can’t leave my child, Annie.”
My throat closes up on me. I feel like I’m slowly dying. Desperation is telling me to scream my confession, to tell him that I am pregnant, too. But Jack goes on before I can straighten out my head and release the words. “I can’t believe this is happening. She knows I don’t want a baby.”