I can’t bear this. My alarm bells are suddenly going wild.
A phone starts ringing, and Stephanie gasps, pulling a mobile from the pocket of her coat. The happiness on her face as she looks down at the screen is enough to floor me. “It’s Jack!” she squeals, connecting the call. “Jack?” She turns and hurries out of the kitchen. “Yes, I’m on my way home! Are you coming? We’ll talk. Properly. I’ll listen, I swear.” She disappears in a whirl of excitement, slamming the front door behind her.
I fall to my arse on the chair, the adrenaline that’s kept me going draining from my body and shock setting in. My head falls into my hands, but I have no time to rest my weary mind. My phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I pull it out and answer.
“Annie, are you okay?” Jack sounds out of his mind with worry.
“Great,” I quip. “I’ve just watched your wife spiral into meltdown and listened to her tell me how she’s going to win you back from the hussy you’re sleeping with. Apparently I’m a great friend and I’m going to convince you that you’re making a mistake. Perfect, eh?”
“What?” He sounds as flabbergasted as I am.
“Jack, I’m worried.”
“I’m so sorry,” he breathes. “I didn’t know she’d turn up on your doorstep like that.”
“Are you okay?” I ask softly, not liking the weariness in everything he’s saying.
“I just wish I could be there with you,” he admits, making me smile sadly. “It’s been a shitty day.”
“It has,” I say quietly. He doesn’t need to know what my shitty day has entailed.
“I need to see you, Annie. Can you come to my office in the morning?”
“Won’t that raise a few eyebrows with staff?”
“We’re having a business meeting. That’s all.”
“I’ll bring my files,” I tell him, getting up and going to my bedroom to find my long-awaited bed. I pull my bag off the end and drop it to the floor before I fall in and drag my covers up to my chin.
“My offices at eleven?”
“Okay.”
“I can’t wait to hold you, Annie.” He sounds so exhausted. I close my eyes and imagine myself cuddled into his chest, warm and safe. Together. “’Night, baby.”
“Good night.” I hang up and stare up at my ceiling, trying to piece together how I’m going to break the news to Jack that I’m pregnant. I’m not sure the poor man can take much more.
Chapter 25
The next morning, I’m all kinds of nervous as I sit in the waiting room of Jack’s offices after being told he’s expecting me. I can’t figure out if I’m jittery because Stephanie could turn up again, or whether I’m worried about telling him that I’m pregnant. I don’t have time to ponder for long. Jack strides out of his office toward me, fastening the button of his suit jacket. He looks washed out, absolutely knackered, but his face lights up when his eyes meet mine. He has no tie on today—just a white shirt open at the collar, and his jacket and trousers. His hair isn’t as neatly styled as the last time I encountered him in his office. It’s no wonder, really. I think yesterday took a lot out of both of us.
In contrast, my ripped skinny jeans are worn, my T-shirt oversized and creased, and my flip-flops are highly inappropriate for a supposed business meeting.
Jack nods to the lady on reception. She gives him a half smile, almost sympathetic. Has he made it public knowledge? Has he told people that he’s left Stephanie? I start to fidget in my chair, my nerves accelerating.
“Miss Ryan,” Jack says quietly, holding his hand out to me.
I accept his offering. “Mr. Joseph,” I reply, feeling him pull discreetly to help me to my feet, as though he senses I need the support. He’d be right. I feel drained. I lay awake last night and agonized over telling Jack my news. I feel like I should be the one easing his stress, not adding to it. “Thank you.” I feel him squeeze my hand gently before releasing it and gesturing the way.
“My office is this way,” he tells me.
This is utterly stupid. Mr. Joseph? Miss Ryan? Telling me his office is this way? Yes, I know, because he screwed me on the desk. Besides, doesn’t his receptionist remember me from when I was here for the meeting with Brawler’s? I feel her looking at me as I pass. She looks suspicious, peeking over her glasses with interest as we pass by. I’m not helping matters when I blush bright red and cough, quickly avoiding her eyes.
“She’s looking at us funny,” I whisper as we walk side by side toward Jack’s office. Our arms are brushing with every pace, the brief touches making my breathing even more shallow. Physical contact between us has rendered me breathless from our very first encounter. Now is no exception, despite the horrible circumstances.
“You’re being paranoid,” he whispers back, taking the doorknob and opening the door for me. “After you.” He gives me a little wink, trying to ease me. I hide my secret smile and enter his office, turning as soon as the door shuts behind me. He swoops me from my feet and carries me to one of the couches, sitting with me draped across his lap, holding me as close to him as he possibly can. “Jesus, it feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this.” He devotes some quiet time to lavishing me with sweet kisses and tender touches to my face, fussing over me like I need to be fussed over. “How did you sleep?” he asks, cupping my face and following up his question with a rub of our noses.
“Terribly,” I admit. “I couldn’t get Stephanie out of my head.” Jack nods his understanding. “She was in such a state.”
“I know, baby. It’s awful to see, but I have to stay strong even if it makes me seem heartless. This is for the best, not just for us, but for her, too. She can’t be happy in this loveless marriage.”
I go limp in his lap, wishing I could rip every thought tormenting me from my mind and be numb to it all. “I feel so guilty,” I whisper. I decide here and now that tomorrow I’m going to church. I’m not religious, but God’s there for everyone, right? He doesn’t turn his back on a soul. I’ll confess my sins and pray for forgiveness. I hope he forgives me. I might hate Stephanie for what she’s done to Jack, but I still feel guilty. I’m both annoyed and comforted by it.
“Hey.” Jack nudges me from my hiding place, his face falling when he finds I’m tearing up. His lips press together as he runs a soft pad of a fingertip beneath my eye, catching the tear before it falls. “Baby, did you plan this?” he asks seriously. “And when I say plan, I mean did you wake up one morning and decide you were going to go out to a bar and fall in love with a married man?”
When he puts it like that… “No.”
“Have you killed anyone?”
“Jack,” I sigh quietly. “It doesn’t make it right.”
“I’m not saying it does, Annie. What I’m saying is that you are not a bad person. You’re not evil or calculating or manipulative. You fell in love. If that’s a crime, then we’ll be in love together in hell.”