To my surprise, he smirked and took a step back. “Well done, then,” he smartly retorted and moved for the door. “She stays here. You’re welcome to do the same.” With that, he grabbed Z’s shoulder and stormed out. The door slammed, and the lock turned to keep us inside.
“I’m so stupid,” she cried as soon as it did.
“Oh, Anna.” My anger dissipated as I witnessed my only friend lose control of her emotions. “What were you thinking?”
“Angel wanted me to look after Caylen, but Lucas kept talking about my age. He thought I was too young and stupid, apparently, to look after a baby. I could tell he was convincing Angel, so I lied. I didn’t want to leave Caylen at the mercy of those monsters.”
Her tears spilled faster, and she looked ready to collapse at any moment so I led her to the bed. She continued to cry, and I searched for words to say to make it all go away. I came up empty, so I went with the truth that was heavy on my heart, especially since she admitted why she lied. “I don’t know how I will ever thank you for what you did.”
She sniffled and lifted her head. Her cheeks and eyes were puffy with red. “You would have done it for me.”
I would have. Faster than a heart could beat. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel any better about the sacrifice she made for me. I had no idea how much pain my actions caused the day I broke into my dead godfather’s home.
“Did they force you?” I had to force the words out. It was hard to believe given their response to my own rape, but what if they hadn’t given her a choice?
She looked horrified when she gasped. “No!”
We sat in silence until the questions tormenting me spilled out. “Which one?”
She blushed and stared at her fingers. “Lucas.”
It was worse than I thought. At least with Z, he would have been nice. Anna never understood the type of men she tempted with her body. “Was he gentle?”
“Yes… at first.” Her smile held a secret I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. “But then it started to feel so good,” she rushed out, letting me in on the secret.
I listened to her tell me about her first time with Lucas. It seemed that not only was he’s God’s gift to bed play, but I underestimated him as well. He wooed her before bedding her, and it was clear Anna was falling for him.
Instead of feeling lighter, I wanted to scream. I knew he wouldn’t feel the same. Especially, not after this.
Z returned with a fussy Caylen, and I forced myself to leave Anna. “He stinks.” Z’s nose was turned up as he held my baby out like a bomb about to detonate.
“You could have changed his diaper.”
He appeared sheepish when he said, “I don’t know how.”
“It’s easy really. It’s just like wiping your own ass after it explodes.”
He bent over to laugh and just like that, the tension between us eased. Z was sweet and funny. He wasn’t intense like Angel or temperamental like Lucas. He was easy.
I stopped walking, and he did the same, though he looked confused. “I’m sorry I punched you in the nose.” I wasn’t completely sorry, but for some reason, I apologized anyway.
“It’s cool, princess. I’ll take anything to get your hands on me.”
I laughed and started walking again when I heard him say, “By the way… it would have hurt more if you’d slapped me with a feather.” He guffawed and held my son up as a shield when I faced him with a menacing expression.
“Really? You’re going to use my son?” I took Caylen from him, and he followed me to the nursery where I demonstrated how to change a diaper.
“Ever think you’ll have little Zs running around?” I asked after I tossed the diaper.
His eyes were blank when he answered, “No.”
“Why not? You don’t like kids?” He seemed pretty comfortable with Caylen.
“I like them, just not enough to give them my blood or my name.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“That I don’t like kids?”
“That you don’t deserve them.” What was I saying? This man kidnapped my child.
“Trust me, princess. There’s not a sane woman alive who would take my seed.” He walked out before I could respond, and I felt more than just a twinge of sadness for him. My heart actually broke. I always had the feeling his easy smiles were a mask to hide the broken man underneath.
After I had put Caylen down for another nap, I headed back to Anna’s room. I didn’t want to leave her alone for too long. It seemed I came not a moment too soon when I found Lucas outside her door pacing like an angry cat. “What are you doing here?”
He stopped pacing and leaned his forehead against her door. “I don’t know,” he croaked.
“Are you okay?”
“Of course, I’m not okay. I stuck my dick inside of a goddamn child.”
“You shouldn’t blame her.”
“Ok.” He lifted his head and turned to lean his shoulder against the door. “Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t and maybe I won’t.” His voice was calm, but his eyes were impatient as he waited.
“She didn’t know.”
“She didn’t know that she was only seventeen? Try again.”
“She didn’t understand the magnitude of what she’d done by lying.”