“Why should I?”
“Besides the fact that I did? Try the fact that we’ve shared more between the two of us in the past few days than most people do in a fucking lifetime.”
I knew I was getting angry and I knew it would upset him. I watched him slowly turn around and I took a step backward, trying my best to stand my ground. There was a mixture of anger and sadness and frustration fluttering over his face and all I wanted to do was get him to put down his stuff and cool his damn jets for a second.
“You have no idea what you’ve done for me, do you?” he asked.
“What?”
“You just don’t get it. You’ve got no idea and you don’t have any idea because you hardly know who I am.”
“Because you won’t talk to me, Liam,” I said. “You won’t say a damn thing about yourself and you know more about me than anyone in my life besides Gwen.”
He chuckled to himself before he shook his head and it only made me angrier.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“For you, it’s just black and white. From here, you go back to your world and you find a new job. Maybe one you like, maybe one you hate. You spend time with your best friend and you sleep soundly in your bed and, soon, you’ll forget about this entire thing. You’ll forget about me, and you’ll forget about this. But that’s the problem because I could never forget about you. Not after what you’ve given me.”
“And what is it I’ve given you, Liam?” I asked. “Can you at least tell me that?”
But, instead, all he did was turn around and start walking down the hallway.
“See?” I asked. “You want to blame this on me but you’re the one who can’t even open your mouth to talk.”
“Yep.”
“And here you are, walking away from me again when you won’t even tell me what the fuck is going on!”
“Uh huh,” he said.
“Fine, go, Liam. Stalk out of here like a little boy.”
He whirled around at the front door and I saw his nostrils flaring. I stopped in my tracks and braced myself for whatever was coming. At this point, I didn’t even give a damn how he said it. I didn’t care if he yelled it at me from his damn truck.
All I wanted this man to do was talk to me the way I’d been able to talk to him. All I wanted to do was give him the sort of relief he was able to give me.
But he wouldn’t open his fucking mouth.
Then, without a word, he turned around and opened the door. I watched him from the porch as he loaded everything into his truck and I stood there while he backed out. Part of me wanted to run after him. To jump in the back of his truck and force my way into his life until he realized my worth. What I could bring to him and the comfort I could give him if he just stopped being so damn reclusive and scared.
His truck drove off down the cobblestone pathway while I stood there shivering in the cold and all I could think was that maybe this was how it was supposed to end. Maybe this was supposed to be the catalyst for me going home. Maybe Liam was only in my life to open it up just a little bit. To show me that my life could be better and that it could be full of happiness if I was just willing to take a few steps I’d never taken before.
I stood there while my toes grew numb, hoping he would turn around and come back. I wrapped my arms around my chest while icy tears brewed behind my eyes. I didn’t even know what he was expecting from all this. I got the sense that maybe he wanted more. That maybe he wanted to keep in touch after all this was said and done, but I still didn’t know. He hadn’t actually told me anything. He’d just beaten around the bush, hoping I’d get the picture or some shit like that. Was that what Liam was afraid of? That I would reject him if he talked?
At this point, it didn’t matter. What was done was done and it was obvious he wasn’t coming back. I walked back into the resort cabin and closed the door. Then my eyes slowly panned over to the cushions on the floor. With a tear streaking down my cheek, I went over and laid down on the cushions. They smelled like him and I took a deep breath. I wanted to memorize his scent before I went home because, the truth was, I couldn’t stay here anymore. I didn’t know if the resort would refund my money, but I didn’t care.
I needed to get as far away from the memory of him as I could.
CHAPTER 29
LIAM
The wind was howling and the ground was moving. I ran and I ran, breathing in the metallic scent of the air. Bombs were whistling in the distance and gunfire was shooting all around my head. The rock sprayed into my face while I held someone on my back, trying to get them to safety.
I could feel blood trickling from my nose. I could feel it dripping down my throat. I could feel my ankles burning from the lack of skin and I could hear the person on my back groaning for help. I kept turning down hallways while the lights got dimmer, threatening to swallow us both in darkness while I kept running.
Suddenly, I was outside. The ground was moving like waves in the ocean and I was running over them but getting nowhere. Bombs were going off beside me while someone kept screaming for help in my ear. I held the body on my back close to me, trying to let them know it was going to be okay. That as long as they were with me, they would be safe and healthy.
Because I was a doctor and that was what doctors did.
But then, I turned a corner and was met with a stone wall. A wall with chains dangling from them that dripped with the blood of the dead. Bodies were scattered around me. Bodies that had scalpels impaled into their backs. Scalpels that glared with my fingerprints while tears poured down my face and that was when I recognized the voice on my back.
“Canter. Help me.”
I shot up like a bat out of hell in my bed while sweat poured down my neck. Wiping it away, I groaned as I shifted my legs over the bed. Another fucking nightmare had come and gone, waking me up before dawn to greet me with its sleepless calling. It’d been two days since I’d last seen Whitney and every fucking time I closed my damn eyes, I saw it. War. Unrest. Blood. Bodies. I saw that damn shithole flash behind my eyes as if it had fucking happened yesterday.
I wasn’t getting an ounce of sleep.
Grunting, I lifted my drenched body off the bed. I ripped the sheets up and walked them to the washer, tossing them in before I took my clothes off. I threw everything in, along with some detergent and started the washer. Then, I slipped into the bathroom to take a shower. I smelled like I’d just come running out of the woods and I needed to get myself clean. I needed to scrub the blood off my hands and run hot water over my back, just to make sure he wasn’t there.
I stepped into the tub that reminded me of Whitney before I turned on the shower. I had no idea how in the world I was going to get back to normal. I had no idea if the nightmares were ever going to go away again. It was easier when the nightmares settled in. It was easier when I wasn’t reminded of what peace felt like. I’d dealt with them for two solid years and I’d gotten used to being disturbed. I’d gotten used to being bothered and sleepless. I’d gotten used to having to fill my body with coffee just to get through half the day before I needed another sleepless nap.
But then Whitney happened.
She appeared in my life and reminded me of what it felt like to have peace. Her body reminded me of how wonderful it felt to have the warmth of a woman around and her smile reminded me of what it felt like to be happy. I knew what a good night’s rest felt like when she was in my arms and it was something I’d completely forgotten I was capable of. I’d made my bed in my misery and it didn’t seem so bad. The comparison I used to have had faded into the dark recesses of my mind.