“And Whitney?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I am, too. Look, we’ll talk more when I get there. Let me get on the road.”
“I’ll see you this afternoon.”
Hanging up the phone, I started cleaning myself up. I groomed and picked out an outfit, then got some stuff done around the cabin. By the time two-thirty rolled around, I was getting into my truck, anxious to meet up with Whitney and talk with her face to face. I wanted to make this drive worth her while, so on the way to the coffee shop, I formulated my argument. I laid out all the numbers in my head and repeated them to myself, then made a decision I should have made days ago.
I needed to open up to Whitney finally.
The coffee shop was right across the road from the vacant buildings. I went inside and waited for her, sipping on my coffee while my leg shook. Every time the door opened, I’d whip my head up, but the moment I saw Whitney, I froze. She looked tired. Like maybe she wasn’t eating well or sleeping. I stood up and watched her walk up to me. Then I immediately gathered her in my arms.
“How was the drive?” I asked.
“Long,” she said, sighing.
“Before I launch into the speech I’ve prepared, I have something I want to share with you.”
“Can I get some coffee first?” she asked
“Of course. Get whatever you want. It’s on me.”
I watched her while she ordered and I surveyed every movement she made. Every time her body swayed and every time her leg trembled. I had no idea what in the world was running through her mind but I knew I wanted to take it all away. I wanted to help her in any way I could, even if it was just as a friend.
Though I hoped by the end of all this, she’d be more than that.
“Okay,” she said as she sat down. “Hit me.”
“My nightmares,” I said. “You need to know about them.”
“Liam, you don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to. It was wrong of me to push that.”
“But I want to. That’s what I was battling. I was going between wanting to tell you everything and wanting to protect the man you saw me as.”
“Why would I think any differently of you after you’ve told me all this?” she asked.
“Because I was a coward, Whitney.”
“I highly doubt that,” she said.
“On my last deployment,” I began, “I was captured.”
“Wait, what?” she asked.
“I was captured and held by the enemy. A prisoner of war.”
“Holy shit, Liam,” she said, incredulously.
“My entire unit was captured. We were ambushed on a small patrol boat and boarded. My unit and I, we were all taken to shore. I was forced to help them and heal their wounded unless I wanted to die myself.”
I could see the shock rolling over her face but I didn’t want to give her the chance to speak until I’d told her everything.
“It was me and three other men. Callen Paxton, who survived with me, and two other men. I was forced to heal the enemy’s wounded but they threatened my life if I tried to help my own. I watched them die, right there. The only reason they let me help Paxton was because I convinced them he was necessary to what they wanted from me.”
I watched as Whitney’s hand reached out and came down onto my forearm.
“I should’ve been willing to die. I should’ve been willing to accept the sacrifice for my country but I didn’t. I was a coward and, instead of healing my own men, I watched them die while healing dozens of enemy fighters.”
“That doesn’t make you a coward, Liam. It makes you a survivor.”
“I don’t expect you to understand—”
“Liam, look at me.”
I raised my gaze to hers and I could see the sternness that had set in. She squeezed my forearm and made sure I was looking at her. Then she drew in a deep breath and began.
“You were captured and you survived. You did what was asked and, in the process, saved one of your own. You fought tooth and nail to get back to a country you loved. A country you were dedicated to. That Purple Heart in your bedroom doesn’t go to cowards, Liam. It goes to heroes. To soldiers that our children look up to. To people who lay their lives on the line and climb through the mire to rise above everything that’s been thrown at them. You saved the life of that man, Liam, and you saved your own. Taking the easy way out in that kind of situation would’ve been the cowardly move. There were people who vetted you for that medal, who wanted you to have that honor because they knew you deserved it. You are not a coward, Liam. You’ve only convinced yourself you are.”
Her words battered against my ears like waves against a rocky shoreline. I wanted to believe her. I really did. And I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to convince myself she was right. But I could feel the warmth of her touch radiating up my arm. I could feel her voice cleansing the thoughts in my mind and her innocence penetrating my soul again.
And all because she was there. Right there. In front of me.
“Here’s what I do know,” I said as I took her hand. “You have brought a light into my life I haven’t experienced since that deployment. I hadn’t experienced one nightmare since that first night we spent together. Your presence chases out the darkness I feel caving in around me sometimes and the light you shone into my world helped me to see new possibilities for myself. So, if you’d give me the chance, I’d like to show you a possibility for your own.”
I could see the confusion on her face but, instead of pulling away, all she did was tighten her grip on my hand.
“Just hear me out before you interject because I know it sounds nuts. If you turn around, you’ll see two vacant pieces of property right across the road. Don’t do it now, just wait until I’m finished.”
“Okay,” she said.
“They both have a decent amount of space to them, which is surprising for how they’re laid out in the front. They’ll need some work but most of it I can do on my own. For both buildings. It’s the perfect place for two things I can think of that we briefly talked about during our time together.”
I could see the curiosity and intrigue rolling over her face.
“They would be perfect buildings for a legal practice and a medical clinic,” I said.
“Liam,” she said breathlessly. “That’s…”
I watched her turn around to survey the buildings, her eyes taking them in while her back was turned to me. I sat back in my chair and allowed her to process everything I’d already thrown at her. The nightmares. The reason behind them. Why our time together meant so much to me. The buildings. She had enough to chew on and, if she wanted more information, I knew she would ask for it.
“How in the world could we do something like that?” she asked.
Not the question I was expecting but it was better than I figured I would get.
“Well, it’ll take me a couple of years to get my clinic up and going. I did a one-year internship rotation at the Naval Hospital, so I’d need to complete one more residency year at a civilian hospital to narrow down what I’d want to focus on. I’m sort of bouncing between a pediatrician and a general practitioner. I’m not sure what the area needs just yet. But once that rotation year is done, I’d be able to legally practice medicine in the civilian world. What would you need to do?”
She looked at me as if I’d grown a second head but she didn’t turn down the idea.
“I’d have to figure out what branch of law I wanted to practice,” she said. “My specialization is in corporate law and I can’t imagine many corporations in Gatlinburg could use an on-staff attorney.”