Memories of her I could indulge in after she left.
I knew we were only prolonging the inevitable but I couldn’t help it. She had been a wrench in the plans I’d made for my life and, now, I was starting to see things a bit differently. I was actually enjoying being around other people and I found myself wanting to talk to her about things. Before, I’d sworn off women, thinking I wasn’t worthy of the beauty they could bring into my life.
But Whitney came in on a whirlwind of a snowstorm and turned my life upside down. She’d interjected herself into my space unknowingly and reformatted the entire place. Now, I couldn’t imagine that cabin without her in it. I couldn’t imagine waking up without her in my arms. I didn’t know if I could go back to cooking for just one and I didn’t know if I could go back to the nightmares that plagued me before she showed up.
But how was I going to communicate all of this to her without pushing her away?
I felt Whitney slowly beginning to stir against me. She sighed and groaned, her body stretching while it cracked with the stiffness of our activities. With each crack, she moaned a little deeper and I chuckled at her sounds. Her eyes were still closed and, for a second, I thought she was going to drift back to sleep, but then her head lifted up off my chest.
“Wanna go get some breakfast?” she asked.
“I think that requires you to open your eyes first,” I said.
“I’ll get there. One step at a time. I need coffee. They have coffee at breakfast.”
Chuckling, I slowly sat us up. I could tell her body was still exhausted from the night before. The marks I’d left on her body were red, glaring at me as a surge of pride swelled within my chest. Her shoulders and her chest were covered in them and I bet if I spread her thighs wide, they’d be there as well. I raised my hand and allowed myself to trace their outlines, feeling her skin shivering against my touch as I explored the evidence of our salacious activities.
“Are they bad?” she asked.
“In all the best ways,” I said.
“You’re such a man.”
“And you love every second of it.”
Her naked body was soon covered up with a blanket before she turned around and looked at me. She threw me a smile that made me tingle and I watched her pad back into the bedroom before I gathered myself off the floor, picking up my blanket in my arms before I started after her.
She was silently dressing while I began putting on clothes of my own and, soon, she was standing there ready to leave.
I went over and wrapped my arms around her before my lips descended onto hers.
“How are you feeling?”
She smiled up at me with a smile that lit up her eyes before she threaded her arms around my neck.
“Sore. Got a pretty good workout yesterday. How are you feeling?”
“Hungry,” I said. “Got any good food around here?”
“Yeah, but I’m too sore to cook. What do you say we go into town and get some pancakes?”
“My mouth’s already salivating,” I said.
We hopped into my truck and went on a little adventure. Instead of Whitney taking out her phone, we took random twists and turns throughout town. We passed by a couple of breakfast places that didn’t look too appetizing but then we approached a little diner that had a neon sign still lit up, even though the sun was shining brightly.
“It’s always those places that have the best food,” she said. “Turn in there.”
I parked the truck and we walked in. The moment I smelled the air, I knew we’d picked the right spot.
A perky waitress came and took our order before setting a carafe full of coffee at our table. Whitney had to get through two cups of coffee before she started to look even remotely alive, but I had a good time simply watching her. The fact that she wasn’t a morning person gave me time to study her more and I started to notice things about her I hadn’t caught before. Like the light scar she had just above her left eyebrow. Or the way her right eye was a little lazier than her left. Or the way her lips were chapped slightly from the cold, dry air that was currently settling over Gatlinburg.
I got to take in all of these things while she slowly woke up.
“You got to ask me a question last night I never got to toss back your way,” I said.
“Then shoot. I’ve got two cups in me and I’m feeling good.”
“What are your plans for the future?” I asked.
The waitress came up just as I asked the question and took our order. Whitney wanted two scrambled eggs with cheese and a stack of pancakes and I ordered an omelet with hash browns. Whitney was absolutely appalled that I wasn’t eating pancakes and I admitted that I was going to steal some of hers.
That little altercation resulted in her ordering a second stack of pancakes, just in case we ran out.
“Two stacks of pancakes?” I asked.
“Don’t underestimate me,” she said. “I can put them away.”
“So,” I said. “Don’t skirt the question. What are your plans for the future? Have you ever thought about opening your own practice?”
“Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m going to do. But whatever decision I do make, I have to do it fast. I’ve got just enough money to make it three more months. Then I’m gonna be in trouble.”
“Have you job searched at all?”
“Not really,” she said. “This vacation was just supposed to be all about relaxing. You know, taking it slow and getting my mind off things before I got back to reality.”
“Back to reality?” I asked.
“Yeah. Gwen convinced me to take a chunk of time off and just get away. Clear my head and take a break from the slump I was in before I started giving legitimate thought to what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.”
I nodded but my mind started reading into her words. If she came here for the sole purpose of vacation, then I was just a fling; something she’d do as a fun little activity while she was here before she went back to her world and left me behind. I was just a way for her to get her past behind her before she left me and went chasing after her future.
A future that didn’t include the likes of me.
“A part of me has wondered if I should start my own practice but, at this point, I’d have to take out a small loan to get it up and running. I don’t have enough money in my savings account any longer to fully front the cost.”
“Uh huh,” I said.
“Plus, the only law I’ve practiced up until this point is corporate law and I don’t know if I’d want to set up a business around that type of law. It just left such a bad taste in my mouth.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“But I’ve got two weeks with you before I have to think about that kind of stuff,” she said, smiling.
And there it was. Confirmation that I was nothing but a temporary distraction.
Here was what I knew for sure; Whitney was impacting me in a way I would’ve never thought possible. But I also knew I wasn’t going to be strung along like this. I might’ve been just a nice little fuck for her but she was breathing life back into me. I was beginning to incorporate her into routines and aspects of my life I hadn’t exposed to anyone except Paxton. I wasn’t about to sit here with a woman who was just using me as a side fuck before she went back off to her life and left me here to flounder by myself.
I had to protect myself. I had to nip this in the bud and get back to the way things were before she came rolling into my life. If my nightmares were going to return, I needed to start coping with that as soon as possible. If she was really going to be gone, I needed to be coping with that as soon as possible too.