We had figured out a routine for loading and unloading a car full of children, and after returning from the school pick up, I took Carter and the baby into the house first and then went back for the twins.
I had left a sleeping Lucas in his car seat on the kitchen floor and asked Carter to be a big boy and watch him for me. I managed to get both twins out of the car, but as I was trying to shut the car door without dropping anything or anyone, Lucas started to scream.
He was hysterical in his car seat by the time I got into the house, and Carter was in the pantry, looking for food as was normal when he first got home from school.
“What happened, little man?”
I undid the harness and lifted him out. “Carter what happened, big man? Why’s the bubby crying?”
“I don’t know. Can I have a narna?”
“Did you eat the one in your lunch box?”
He nodded.
“No, then. I have some grapes in the fridge, want those?” He nodded again.
With a now calming Lucas cradled in one arm, I used my free hand to slice grapes into quarters and divided them into three bowls. I then had to put the baby back into his car seat, listen to him scream blue bloody murder, wrangle the twins into their high chairs, and sit Carter at the table. When the twins and Carter were situated with their grapes, I bent to pick Lucas up again. It was as I was taking his coat off that I found the bite mark across two of his knuckles. A couple of the indentations had broken the skin, and the rest looked purple and very sore.
“Carter!” I never shouted at the kids, but the mumma bear inside me was raging. It didn’t matter in that single red-tinged moment that Carter was one of my own, my instinct was to defend the baby. So yeah, I shouted out his name, which made all the kids jump and the youngest three started to cry.
My eldest stared at me wide eyed.
“Did you bite the baby?” I asked in a quieter voice.
He looked around the room before finally making eye contact with me.
“Na ah.” He shook his head. “It was Archie.”
“Please don’t lie to me. Archie was still outside when he screamed, and he doesn’t have enough teeth yet any way.”
I was arguing with a four-year-old.
Carter shrugged his shoulders and carried on eating his grapes, looking completely unrepentant. I stood and stared at him for a while, wondering why in the world he would bite his brother. I had no idea, and no clue how to handle the situation, either. Another one of those moments where I missed my mum hit me, so I decided to call Nan, who picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, Nan. It’s me.”
“Hey, gorgeous girl. How’s the tribe?
“They’re not bad. Today’s the first day I’ve really been on my own with them. Liam left early this morning for a meeting in the city and won’t be back until late tonight.”
“How you coping?”
I looked around to check that Carter was out of earshot before I continued.
“Well, everything was going great, but Carter just bit the baby, and I’ve no clue how to handle it.”
“Oh shit. That’s not good.”
“He’s totally denied doing it, too.” I was doing great, and out of nowhere, I burst in to tears as I was talking to my nan. “He’s got teeth marks in his tiny little fingers, Nan, and I feel like such a bad Mum. Why would Carter do something like that?”
“Oh, sweetheart. Don’t get so upset. He’s probably just feeling a little bit jealous. You’re a great mum, the best. This isn’t your fault. Most kids through these little stages.”
“Did I?”
“Your circumstances were a bit different. Luke was a lot older than you, so he didn’t really have anyone around to take it out on.”
“Was he jealous of me when I was born?”
My nan let out a long sigh as I chewed on the skin at the edge of my thumb nail.
“He wasn’t, Sarah, not ever. From the very day you were born, all that boy ever wanted to do was protect you, but like I said, your circumstances were a whole lot different to Carter’s.”
“Great, so even a shitty parent like my mother can manage to raise children that aren’t spiteful, unlike me, who’s a complete failure.”
“Now, you just stop that. You are not a failure—far bloody from it.”
We were both quiet for a few moments.
“Look, I’m no expert, but what I would do is spend a little bit of one-on-one time with him when the other babies are sleeping. Have a little chat with him and explain that biting just isn’t on. Not just regards to the baby, you should make it clear that he’s not to bite anyone.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
“And please stop blaming yourself.”
That, I wasn’t so sure I could do, but I didn’t voice that fear. Not to my nan not to anyone.
“I’ll try. Thanks for the chat.”
“Anytime. Now go kiss all those babies for me, make a cup of tea, and go spend a bit of time with your first born.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I ended the call and made my way down to the playroom, where Carter was now on the floor building something out of Lego.