Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1)

“It’s a good school.”

“It’s full of obnoxious little English brats whose parents are even more obnoxious and even bigger English brats.”

“Oh, so let’s blame the English now, shall we?”

“Oh, come on, Sarah. They’re a bunch of fucking snobs up there—stuck-up English pricks, the lot of them.”

“Well, your kids happen to be English, as is your wife and your business partner, so we can’t be that fucking bad, can we?” I screamed at him.

“Sarah.” Luke stepped out of the bathroom and shouted my name. “Keep it the fuck down.”

Tears spilled over and ran down my face. I snatched my cardigan from my brother as he held it out to me and pulled it on without bothering to turn my other top the right way.

“Boys, say goodbye to Daddy and Uncle Luke, we’re going.”

I felt so humiliated. Humiliated hurt, angry and tired.

“I’ll walk you out,” Liam said as he headed towards the door.

“Don’t fucking bother.”

I gave my brother a kiss, and he pulled me in for a cuddle. “We don’t seem to see enough of each other these days.”

“Well, you know where to find me. It’s not like I ever go anywhere.”

“I’ll be round. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Liam followed me out, despite my telling him not to. He helped me strap the kids into their seats, but when he attempted to kiss me goodbye, I snapped, “Fuck off and kiss Cassie.”

I slammed the door of my car and locked it before he could pull it back open. Then I drove away, leaving him standing there, watching me with his hands pushed down deep into his trouser pockets.

After leaving the house at eight thirty that morning, I finally picked Carter up at school, treated the kids to a happy meal from the drive through, finally arriving back home at four. Once they ate, I gave them quick baths and put them to bed early. I forced myself into a shower and climbed into bed at seven o’clock. Thinking about how much of a failure I was at life, I cried myself to sleep.





Luke was leaning with his arse against my desk when I stepped back into my office, so I shut the door behind me and pressed my back against it.

“What the fuck was that all about? Seriously, you need to get her a nanny or a housekeeper or something. She looks fucking exhausted.”

I didn’t have a response. Sarah did look exhausted. She looked pale and almost lifeless, which wasn’t something I hadn’t noticed until I saw her outside our home and standing next to the women in our office, who were typically way over dressed.

I couldn’t believe she said that to me about Cassie, either. What she saw was completely innocent. Sarah and my kids were my fucking world. Other women didn’t exist for me—it didn’t matter if she were around or not.

“Our lives have been a little crazy these past few years with the kids and your grandad. She’s worried about your nan, and now Carter’s having some issues. I think it’s all just caught up with her.”

“Your lives have been crazy? Your lives have been fucking fertile, dude, that’s what they’ve been. You seriously need to go and get your nuts chopped, because I swear to god, you knock her up one more time, and I’ll be ripping your dick and your bollocks off.”

I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand and moved towards my desk, not wanting to have this discussion with him but giving him a tight nod in acknowledgment. I felt a great big knot of emotion form in my throat. I really was the worst fucking husband on the planet.

“What’s going on with Carter then?”

“He’s been really aggressive with the twins, spiteful—he even bit the baby.”

“Carter? That’s not like him.”

“Nah, I know, and now the school wants to see one of us to discuss his issues.”

He shook his head. “Carter doesn’t have any issues. He’s just a normal little boy who’s had his mum and dad all to himself for three years and now he’s suddenly having to share them with three little brothers.”

“We’ve tried making a fuss of just him. I take him out on his own without the others when I can.”

There was a knock on my office door, and Mel poked her head in.

“Oh, sorry. Just wanted to let you know the contracts have been signed on those four units in Chillagoe.”

“Cheers, Mel.”

“Mel, before you go can you come in and close the door for a sec, please?” Luke asked without turning around to look at her.

She did as he asked and walked towards us with a frown. Luke turned in his chair slightly and looked her up and down.

“You ever, ever speak to or attempt to humiliate my sister like that again, you will be out of here so fast those long skinny legs of yours won’t know what’s hit them.”

I sat back in my chair and watched the exchange, not having a clue what was going on.

Mel’s cheeks flushed, and she folded her arms in front of her chest, cocking one hip to the side.

“She had baby puke all down her back, it was gross. Am I not allowed an opinion?”