If only it didn’t hurt so bad.
It was true what people said about going through difficult times together and how struggles could bring people closer together. For her and Blue, that was definitely true. She’d never felt so loved, cherished, or supported.
It was Thursday night. She’d texted Blue earlier to tell him that she was taking the flowers to the cemetery and then she’d meet him at home. She packed up the flowers and walked out to her car thinking about the show she had to tape tonight. Maybe she’d go a little crazy and make a cake shaped like butt cheeks. Her mind shifted back to Blue—he was never far from it. She shivered with memories of crossing off the mile-high club from her Fuck-It list on the way back from New York. She’d never imagined the bathrooms on airplanes were so small, but that had made it all the more fun when they’d snuck in together.
She smiled to herself as she unlocked her car door. It was a good thing her father didn’t know about her lists. That might just push him to an early grave.
“Peanut?”
Lizzie froze. Tears sprang to her eyes at the sound of her father’s voice and the endearment she hadn’t heard in a decade. She gripped the car door for stability as she turned to face him in the hazy darkness of the evening. His eyes were sad, his shoulders drooped in a way she’d never witnessed, jumbling the powerful image of her father she carried with her.
Blood rushed to her ears. She’d seen him angry, happy, and nonplussed, but the remorse riding his deep-set eyes and draining the strength from his shoulders was so shockingly unfamiliar, it momentarily numbed her.
“Dad?” she finally managed.
He stepped closer, and when he spoke, his tone was tender and forgiving.
“When you were a little girl, you told me that I was cockeyed. I wasn’t sure what you meant, and when you tried to explain it, the best you could come up with was that I saw things crooked.” His lips curved up with a tentative smile.
She couldn’t remember saying that to him, but it didn’t surprise her. It must have been before she’d learned to hold her tongue.
“My whole life I’ve stood strong in my convictions about morals and ethics and the way we should live our lives,” he said without even a hint of his typical confidence.
“I know, and I’m sorry I’ve let you down.” She felt her heart tearing in half, wanting to please him and not wanting to back down at the same time. “But I’m not going to change what I’m doing. Not even for you.”
He nodded, his face solemn. “I know that. Elizabeth, it seems I’ve misjudged you, and it took someone other than my own family to show me how badly I had.”
“What do you mean?” Other than family?
“Do you know why I couldn’t meet with you when you came by the inn yesterday?”
Because you didn’t want to. She couldn’t bring herself to respond.
“I’ve had a visitor every day this week. Someone who obviously cares for you a great deal, someone who wanted me to fully understand the daughter I raised.” Her father dropped his eyes again. “I’m ashamed to admit that it took another man to make me see exactly how crooked my views were. A man who refused to take no for an answer. A man who came to the inn nearly every day and sat in the parlor until I finally really heard what he had to say.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. Blue. She tightened her grip on the cold metal door.
“He forced me to listen, Lizzie, and not even your own mother could do that. Your mother hasn’t spoken more than two words to me since this mess began other than to tell me that I’m a stubborn old fool.” He smiled at that. “She’s right, and I’m not proud of it.”
“Dad, don’t let anyone force you to accept who I am.” She was trembling, and it took all of her determination to drag the words from her lungs.
“Blue didn’t force anything…but the truth. He told me about the things you did for others, and he told me about how hard you worked day in and day out. And he pointed out one very important thing that I somehow managed to miss.” He held her gaze then, and it made her heart ache even more. “He pointed out that it shouldn’t matter if you’re the Naked Baker or not, which, Elizabeth, I’m ashamed to say that you, too, pointed out to me. I think you might have cracked my hard head, and he simply drove the point home.”
“But it does matter. That’s why you’re so mad, and honestly, Dad, I’m ashamed of doing it, too. That’s a big part of why I didn’t tell you.”