“Not our Siena. She was glad to hand it over, and Cash, well, he’s such a planner. He always has been, ever since he was a little boy. He had a survival bag packed and ready under his bed, just in case. He and Jake. They were so cute with their little backpacks full of maps and walkie-talkies.” Andrea smiled with the memory.
“He would have driven me crazy watching over my shoulder anyway,” Siena added with a raise of her brows. “We make a perfect pair. He’s prepared and I need him to be. But enough about our wedding. I want to hear about you and Blue. Are you two serious?”
Lizzie was surprised that such a successful model wouldn’t be more worried about her wedding. But then again, Siena was so laid-back that she wasn’t having an extravagant wedding. They were having a small wedding with just family and close friends at one of Duke’s hotels.
She felt the urge to gush about Blue, to tell them how much she loved him and how he’d stuck by her without being afraid to tell her his true feelings about the Naked Baker, but that would mean she’d have to come totally clean with them about the program. And the thought of that made her stomach hurt.
Instead, she said, “Yes, we’re pretty serious.”
Andrea sipped her lemonade and ran her finger around the rim of her glass as she spoke. “Let me tell you about my Blue. You know how some kids are always on the go? Jake was like that. He was always taking off into the woods or with friends. Trish was a social butterfly, the only girl, you know. Duke and Gage have always been more serious, but Blue? Blue was the boy who brought home stray dogs to take care of, and birds, and bunnies. He’s always been guided by his heart, and part of that has always been taking care of those he loved. He built a fort for Jake over spring break one year when he was in middle school. Got up every morning and spent hours in the woods. We didn’t really know what he was up to, but he’d march out there with his toolbox at the break of day and come back at dinnertime, dirty and grinning like he’d just stolen the cookie jar. He told us afterward that he worried that if Jake got caught in the rain, he might need shelter.” She smiled at Lizzie.
“Little did he know that Jake would grow up to be one of the best search and rescue guys on the East Coast—and a heck of a survivalist. But that was Blue. He put his heart and soul into everything he did, and usually it was for others. He’d work with his dad in the yard or help him fix the car or the roof. He always wanted to have his hands on something. When Trish was upset over some boy, he’d distract her, take her out, cheer her up.” She lifted her eyes to Lizzie again. “It’s wonderful to see him open up to you, Lizzie. He’s such a giver, and, well, he’d closed his heart off for so long that I worried about him. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever really let anyone in again.”
Lizzie couldn’t help but say, “He’s the most generous and loving man I know.” In that moment of opening up, she realized that she wanted to be completely honest with Andrea and Siena. She and Blue were in love, and she allowed herself to imagine a future with him, a family, a life without the Naked Baker, even if that was two years away. She didn’t want to have any more secrets in their closets. She tried to push her insecurities aside, but she wasn’t quite there yet. Instead she said, “I’ve never met a man who is so open with his feelings.”
“Oh, that’s a Ryder thing. It took some time with Cash,” Siena said with a shake of her head, “but he came around. Cash was all hard edges and brick walls when I met him, but underneath, he was soft and squishy.”
Andrea laughed. “I don’t think anyone else in the world would call Cash soft and squishy.”
Lizzie’s heart was beating so fast she almost backed down from exposing her secret, but she felt close with these women already, and if she had any hopes of a future with Blue and a good relationship with his family, she knew she had to be honest.
“I have something I want to share with you, but it’s a little embarrassing. I won’t be upset if it makes you think less of me, but I want to be honest with the two of you. With your whole family, really, but…”
Andrea’s brows knitted together. She reached for Lizzie’s hand. “Honey, you look like whatever this is, it’s really weighing heavily on you. We aren’t a judgmental bunch, but if you aren’t comfortable sharing, then please don’t feel pressure to.”
Lizzie was thankful for her understanding, but she’d hidden enough, and now she was causing Blue to hide something from his family. She knew Duke was keeping her secret, too, and she didn’t want that.
“Thank you, but I want to tell you.” She told them about the Naked Baker program, explained how it had come about and all the way up to her father’s reaction and the meeting with FCN. When she was done, she felt free. Free and ashamed, and she lowered her eyes to her lap and waited for judgment to claim her, because really, how could they not judge her?