The harsh gulp I hear reveals the nerve I’ve hit. “Love destroys you, makes you weak. I’m fighting the only way I know how. Are you weak?”
“No.” Even I can hear the desperation in my voice. I need to get out of here.
“You say you love my son, but how much?”
My chest feels heavy with his implications, my breath hardening. I lower my head and close my eyes. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. When I look back up, he says, “You are, but I’m stronger.” Shit. I said that out loud? He stands and walks around the desk.
My hands start to shake. “Please—”
“Please what, Sara Jane? Such a pretty name. Have I told you that before? Maybe I have.” His thigh is pressed to mine, and he reaches out to touch me. “You’re so pretty.”
“Don’t touch me.”
A chuckle lifts his gaze away as he steps back. The relief my body feels is emboldening, and I stand, refusing to stay any longer.
Death, control, and all the power he can gather takes over, and he grabs hold of my arm and squeezes. Hunger for more of all three is seen in his eyes. The man is a monster. “Or what?”
My sob finally escapes just when I think I can fight back.
Or what? What will I do? What can I do?
His laughter deepens but the darkness buried in his soul surfaces. It was so fast, I never saw him coming, much less the large hand when it dropped me to the floor. My knees hit the carpet between his desk and the wall of windows. My hair is grabbed. I start to scream but a large hand covers my mouth, and he pulls so tight that the pain stifles my ability to breathe. My skin stings from the slap against my cheek. This is what my gut warned me. Alexander’s father plans to rape me to grow the chasm between his son and himself. What man does that? How can someone be so depraved? Alexander, where are you?
With his acrid breath hitting my ear, he spins me away from the window to my feet, my back to his front, and says, “We don’t have to tell Alex. He doesn’t have to know. You have a choice to make. Save yourself or save him, but I will promise you this, if you scream, I will ruin him, and then I’ll ruin your family. You will be the only survivor watching as your world falls apart.”
My tears are bitter with betrayal, but I have to swallow them. “If I don’t kill you, he will.”
“Your threats are idle, Sara Jane. I can end him faster than you can call him.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Have you ever looked at someone and seen hate written all over their expression? Try looking at your own child who has looked at you like that for the last eighteen years.”
“Because you took his mother away.”
I was scared before. Now I’m terrified as his eyes bore into me. “You think you know what you’re talking about. My son is weak and has spread rumors to destroy me. He won’t win. I will. I’ll destroy what he loves most. Now bend over like a good little girl or you won’t see the light of day tomorrow.”
Pleading for my life, for Alexander’s, and my family’s, I say, “He’s your son. Your blood. Your only heir. For the love of your wife, why are you doing this to Alexander, to me?”
“You can make this easy, or I’m more than happy to oblige and obliterate your world. Is that what you want?”
“I hate you so much.”
“That’s okay. I’ve discovered hate tastes sweeter on the lips of the innocent. I take it you’re choosing to protect Alex?”
He yanks my hair back until the back of my head is on his shoulder. I grapple for the desk but I’m pulled back too far. Pain fills my scalp, but I refuse to give in to him. “It was your decision, and you’ve made your choice.” His free hand slides over my breasts and squeezes before trailing higher. He holds my neck tightly and I gasp for air. Is this how I die? Then he moves even higher, the salt from his fingers on my lips. “Now you’ll pay the price. Your tits for Alex’s tat. Sounds fair.”
He removes his hand, sliding it harshly across my lips while the heat of his other hand caresses my hip, my dress inching up. Then I’m left, my voice stolen with my pride and buried like my strength. I’m forced forward. My hands slam on top of the desk in front of me. His erection is against my leg, soon pressing into me if I can’t stop this. Memories and mantras flash like rapid fire through my mind.
I am strong.
I am strong.
I am weak . . .
“I’m not leaving without Alexander.”
“Alex,” the lead bitch corrects, ending his name harshly. “And don’t worry, I’ll keep him preoccupied just like I have before.”
“Before me,” I correct, the whiskey giving me courage I wouldn’t normally have. He would have never been with me, like he was upstairs, and then move on with a cheap whore, like her. Never. Alexander would never cheat on me.
“No, honey.” She pats my head condescendingly. “Like I did a little while ago while you were preoccupied with the stars outside.” She laughs.
“You’re lying. He wouldn’t cheat on me.”
“You’re boring me just like your awful hair. Run along, Sara Jane.” She says my name with disgust.
“He’ll be looking for me.”
Her eyes remind me of a cat the way they tilt up at the outer corners. Her nails are painted a deep pink, closer to what I imagine the humiliation in my cheeks resembles. I’ve known girls like her, the ones who guys trip over themselves to talk to, the ones that put out, but pretend they’re virgins. “God, you’re annoying. You act like you’re somebody when you’re nothing. I know about you. You go to St. Mary’s, but you’re standing in the middle of my house like you belong, like you’re one of us—the upper echelon of society.” Her arms go wide, her gold bangles clanging together. “Alex is known to slum it every now and then. You’re a passing phase, an easy target. You fell for his lines and money, just like they all do.” A drunk blonde sidles up behind her, her fuzzy gaze trying to intimidate me. “You can’t compete with us.”
“I don’t have to compete. I’ve already won. Isn’t that what you’re really afraid of?”
“Did you really think you’d be able to hold his attention? He’s a man, and you’re just a little girl who lucked into getting his attention when he was hard up. But don’t worry.” The words she spews are so easily believed by everyone, even me, when said in such a way as to demean. “He’s not hard up anymore. I’ve made sure of that so you can run on home and play with your Barbies while the adults stay. In other words, he doesn’t want you here.”
“He wouldn’t hurt me,” I say firmly. “I know Alexander.”
She reaches for the door and cracks it open. “You don’t know him well enough, sweetheart, because I just gave him a blow job he’ll be thinking about all night and begging for more in the morning.”
Doubt fills my chest, but I straighten my shoulders back and face my enemy head on. “He wouldn’t let you near him, much less touch him with something that’s used as often as a garbage disposal.”